The answer may be "when you let it become one". This may all be on me - we'll see.
Me 44/him 43. Me married once, one child, single now for 8 years. Him married once, no kids, separated for 11 months. Dating 7 months. (Yeah, give me that lecture, too.)
He is VERY social. Tons of great buddies from high school and college that still get together very often - some local, some not. Active in church, has friends from there. He does a LOT of stuff with male friends - pro sporting events, fundraising events, sees friend's kids sporting events...
He "can't" introduce me to a large circle of friends who know his ex because she was a WW and it might affect his property division if she perceives he's moved on... but no real legal recourse. He said he wasn't ready for her to know about me.
His family (not in town) knows about me and my daughter, as well as some of his friends who no longer have any ties to his wife know we date and I have met his sister but that was before we were exclusive.
My problem? He goes out with female friends. I'm a single mom and I can't go out and have dinner and drinks until 10pm on a weeknight. I get that it's not fair to think he can't and one of the things I love is how socially vibrant he is. He doesn't hide his activity from me but he'll just say "going out with friends" and then I found out it was with two single female friends.
I can see writing this out it is MY problem, not his. I'm insecure in this relationship. He's not divorced, I'm hoping it's not rebound (he says it isn't but it can happen) and I haven't heard those three little words yet. He's very cautious of his feelings. He spends at least one weeknight with me and my daughter, he comes to her sporting events, too but this is the NORM for him, not anything special for him.
Add to the mix I spent Friday night with him and finally initiated intimacy int he middle of the night when it was obvious it wasn't going to happen (and we haven't since September) and I think he's pulling away.
Paranoia? Insecurity? Dating sux - I'm "built" for marriage, not the roller coaster ride of dating. Should I just wait this out for a few months and see how things progress as he goes through the divorce and property settlement? See if he invites me to church, to meet family or friends... I don't know if I'm being considerate and understanding or stupid.
Me 44/him 43. Me married once, one child, single now for 8 years. Him married once, no kids, separated for 11 months. Dating 7 months. (Yeah, give me that lecture, too.)
He is VERY social. Tons of great buddies from high school and college that still get together very often - some local, some not. Active in church, has friends from there. He does a LOT of stuff with male friends - pro sporting events, fundraising events, sees friend's kids sporting events...
He "can't" introduce me to a large circle of friends who know his ex because she was a WW and it might affect his property division if she perceives he's moved on... but no real legal recourse. He said he wasn't ready for her to know about me.
His family (not in town) knows about me and my daughter, as well as some of his friends who no longer have any ties to his wife know we date and I have met his sister but that was before we were exclusive.
My problem? He goes out with female friends. I'm a single mom and I can't go out and have dinner and drinks until 10pm on a weeknight. I get that it's not fair to think he can't and one of the things I love is how socially vibrant he is. He doesn't hide his activity from me but he'll just say "going out with friends" and then I found out it was with two single female friends.
I can see writing this out it is MY problem, not his. I'm insecure in this relationship. He's not divorced, I'm hoping it's not rebound (he says it isn't but it can happen) and I haven't heard those three little words yet. He's very cautious of his feelings. He spends at least one weeknight with me and my daughter, he comes to her sporting events, too but this is the NORM for him, not anything special for him.
Add to the mix I spent Friday night with him and finally initiated intimacy int he middle of the night when it was obvious it wasn't going to happen (and we haven't since September) and I think he's pulling away.
Paranoia? Insecurity? Dating sux - I'm "built" for marriage, not the roller coaster ride of dating. Should I just wait this out for a few months and see how things progress as he goes through the divorce and property settlement? See if he invites me to church, to meet family or friends... I don't know if I'm being considerate and understanding or stupid.