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Discussion Starter #1
I'm at the point where i've decided i'm not going to be held over the bridge waiting for her to let go of the rope. For the past 2 weeks all i've heard is i'm trying to flip the switch but I can't seem to shake seeing you as just friends... Now this is from a woman who I had to practically beg to have a life outside of me at one point. Now I get, she's angry about earlier things in our marriage and she's having a hard time moving forward. When we 1st got together we both discussed no kids, she changed her mind and I was furious so we've fought for the past few months. We'll long story short I said we could reconsider because I have kids from a previous marriage and she's great to them so I didn't think it was fair to deprieve her of her own(I realize change is constant). Well that still didn't do it she's "unhappy" but doesn't want me to leave she wants time to work through her feelings, well here's the kicker she doesn't know if she wants to stay or go. I've even got the thought of being with 1 person for the rest of her life is suffocating to her. So here's where I am, I love her ofcourse and I want to be with her (not need) but is it worth the turmoil right now... Just really want to make the right decision i've gone through one D and when I did it this time I knew in my heart it would be different yet here I am again totally different woman same story...

Any advice is greatly appreciated. I know all the typical stuff i.e. affair, i've checked everything known to man haven't seen anything, however, I do feel if she's not having a physical affair, I feel there is def some emotional attachment somewhere just can't put my finger on it. It's weird though because she wants live day to day like nothing is going on, and in counseling I get totally hit with stuff so old I forgot all about it! But i'm really thinking I should just leave ASAP!!
 

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If she wants space and isn't willing to work on it...have her leave. It's her deal. If she won't and it's miserable for you....then you go.

Let her have the space and time to think. I don't know the details but go with your gut....even if you don't have proof. It there is a recent change...it may be someone else.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Not really many details, she's always home other than work, I have the cell phone pw, the email and facebook pw as she has mine. So I haven't seen anything concrete just it has to be something for her to go from being all about us to not. And I know there's the permiating thought that there are always signs there weren't at all! Even she said she realized this seems out of the blue because she even questions why she's having these feelings herself. Thanks for the advice though.
 

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Just want to point out, It's not always a PA or EA. Everyone want's to always assume that but sometimes a woman or man can actually just be fighting a battle with themselves without guilt of cheating. Maybe she is fighting depression it happens alot of times. I deal with is constantly and sometimes even though I love my H very much and don't ever want a D I get so down I just want to be gone. Away from it all so to speak. Maybe she should talk to a professional.
 

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Just want to point out, It's not always a PA or EA. Everyone want's to always assume that but sometimes a woman or man can actually just be fighting a battle with themselves without guilt of cheating. Maybe she is fighting depression it happens alot of times. I deal with is constantly and sometimes even though I love my H very much and don't ever want a D I get so down I just want to be gone. Away from it all so to speak. Maybe she should talk to a professional.
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Discussion Starter #6
I've considered that which is why I'm still here. We are in MC and IC.
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I've considered that which is why I'm still here. We are in MC and IC.
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Have they picked up on anything like that?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
2 sessions of MC had her 1st IC last night. Said counselor mostly listened. So we will see. I just really hate feeling so damn vulnerable. Gym not a issue I'm in shape I workout 5 days a week in thinking of actually competing so that's not an issue. She said she is very much still attracted to me just something is missing.
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2 sessions of MC had her 1st IC last night. Said counselor mostly listened. So we will see. I just really hate feeling so damn vulnerable. Gym not a issue I'm in shape I workout 5 days a week in thinking of actually competing so that's not an issue. She said she is very much still attracted to me just something is missing.
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I'm sure she is attracted to you. Women are complicated. So very complicated that we can't even figure us out most of the time. We have lot's of emotional issues to deal with from time to time and some never get them sorted out but think your wife will be ok.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thank you so much for the encouragement! I feel a little after getting that out. She super supportive of me and that's what I love most about her. And I make sure she knows all the time she def appreciated. She a very indulged woman and I don't mind one bit. So I hope we can work it out because she means the world to me. Thanks so much!
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