Yeah that is pretty much sexual assault.
Asexual wife here..being disrespected a lot..
I am 25 and have been married for close to two years. I was always aware I was repulsed by sex and any touching whatsoever. My husband has always been FULLY aware of it as well. I've never made any secret of it or pretended I was into things when I really wasn't. I had never heard of asexuality until recently but now it all makes sense. I give in to sex any amount between 1-3 times a week. Almost always me performing oral. I hate it so much but I do it anyway. Regular sex feels like rape to me. I've never had any sexual abuse of any sort in my past. Sex is always painful and makes me feel gross. I have no desire ever...never have. I'm not gay either. I am even more repulsed by females.
The issue I have is continuously being disrespected. I will ask him to PLEASE not touch my sexual areas but he doesn't listen. I'm talking about.. we'll be walking down the street and he won't stop touching my ass. He will shout "Your ass is so squishy" and things like that in the middle of a public place. I feel so so humiliated. I even said many times.. do it at home (I'd still hate it), not in public. However, he says okay but never listens to me. I'm not sure what to do. He did this today. I am tired of being "careful" about what I wear. Meaning, not wearing tight fitting clothes because he won't stop touching me. It makes me cry sometimes. If I express how I feel and cry about it, I get ragefully yelled at. So I keep it inside.. I go into the lavatory and cry. How should I handle this? The grabbing seems to be getting worse. While I was driving today he started grabbing at my chest. I told him to quit it. He started saying " They are only there for one purpose- me to touch them and stare at them." When I hear that it makes me wish I had no breasts. Literally.
Then comes the other issue.. when I've been grabbed at all day long and feel so used and disgusted.. I cannot fathom offering sex. I just can't do it. So I'm offering it less often now. I told him probably 300 times that grabbing turns me off and makes it far less likely that we will have sexual time. Not sure why he isn't listening. Lots of times he laughs at me. When we discuss these issues he tells me he isn't as high drived as he used to be.. although, I see no difference.
Occasionally he will act shocked that I hate sex and touching. It's a mystery to me because we've been together for close to 10 years and I've ALWAYS remained the same on the issue.
A month ago I had an experience with him the frightened me. It's still bothering me often. We were in the kitchen and he started grabbing me (I had been sick with a migraine and sleeping the whole day. Throwing up, etc.). I asked him to stop and said I felt nauseous (from the migraine). He pushed me against the wall and tried to shove his hands into my pants. I tried to get away and yelled for him to stop. I said please please just stop I don't feel well. He wouldn't stop. I dropped to the floor in attempt to get away. He held me and wouldn't let me go.. still trying to put his hands in my pants ( FYI- this has NEVER been acceptable behavior in my book and he knows this.). My eyes filled with tears and I said STOP I AM SICK PLEASE JUST STOP! He pushed his way past me, went upstairs and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. Was I wrong here? I ended up apologizing to just end the fight. Is this abuse? I feel like crying as I'm typing this.
I am unclear whether I am in an abusive marriage or not. What is the proper way to deal with the grabbing? It's not as if he doesn't get sex and it's not like I've ever changed and suddenly decided I don't like sex.. it's always been this way (almost 10 years as I said.). Therapy is not an option as I have no money for it and he would never ever agree to that. Ugh! Help!
The issue I have is continuously being disrespected. I will ask him to PLEASE not touch my sexual areas but he doesn't listen. I'm talking about.. we'll be walking down the street and he won't stop touching my ass. He will shout "Your ass is so squishy" and things like that in the middle of a public place. I feel so so humiliated. I even said many times.. do it at home (I'd still hate it), not in public. However, he says okay but never listens to me. I'm not sure what to do. He did this today. I am tired of being "careful" about what I wear. Meaning, not wearing tight fitting clothes because he won't stop touching me. It makes me cry sometimes. If I express how I feel and cry about it, I get ragefully yelled at. So I keep it inside.. I go into the lavatory and cry. How should I handle this? The grabbing seems to be getting worse. While I was driving today he started grabbing at my chest. I told him to quit it. He started saying " They are only there for one purpose- me to touch them and stare at them." When I hear that it makes me wish I had no breasts. Literally.
Then comes the other issue.. when I've been grabbed at all day long and feel so used and disgusted.. I cannot fathom offering sex. I just can't do it. So I'm offering it less often now. I told him probably 300 times that grabbing turns me off and makes it far less likely that we will have sexual time. Not sure why he isn't listening. Lots of times he laughs at me. When we discuss these issues he tells me he isn't as high drived as he used to be.. although, I see no difference.
Occasionally he will act shocked that I hate sex and touching. It's a mystery to me because we've been together for close to 10 years and I've ALWAYS remained the same on the issue.
A month ago I had an experience with him the frightened me. It's still bothering me often. We were in the kitchen and he started grabbing me (I had been sick with a migraine and sleeping the whole day. Throwing up, etc.). I asked him to stop and said I felt nauseous (from the migraine). He pushed me against the wall and tried to shove his hands into my pants. I tried to get away and yelled for him to stop. I said please please just stop I don't feel well. He wouldn't stop. I dropped to the floor in attempt to get away. He held me and wouldn't let me go.. still trying to put his hands in my pants ( FYI- this has NEVER been acceptable behavior in my book and he knows this.). My eyes filled with tears and I said STOP I AM SICK PLEASE JUST STOP! He pushed his way past me, went upstairs and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. Was I wrong here? I ended up apologizing to just end the fight. Is this abuse? I feel like crying as I'm typing this.
I am unclear whether I am in an abusive marriage or not. What is the proper way to deal with the grabbing? It's not as if he doesn't get sex and it's not like I've ever changed and suddenly decided I don't like sex.. it's always been this way (almost 10 years as I said.). Therapy is not an option as I have no money for it and he would never ever agree to that. Ugh! Help!
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