I have been married about 2 years and me and my wife dated about 2 years (half the time during those two years I was away) before we got married. Sex was great in the beginning but then I started having issues being aroused by her. It became so bad that nothing she would do would arouse me. I mean nothing. I was sexually very very active before her and I couldn't understand why this was happening to me. I went to the doctor to get my testosterone tested also. Physically I was told I was fine. I was in situations where I could get a hard on (and I could feel it) by simply being physically close to another woman. I have had situations where someone would flirt and I would immediately feel that I would be able to have great sex. I took viagra and it didn't help, I watched porn to arouse myself and then have sex and it worked only when I was actually into porn and would not get it up with her. My wife is gorgeous, I mean she is tall, perfectly built, beautiful hair, looks I mean text book/magazine perfect and I don't get it. Rationally I want to have sex with her and be with her but my arousal system betrays me. I was once travelling (i travel often) and I started chatting with a random woman at a bar. A little tipsy I flirted with her to the point that I was having a hard on that I hadn't experienced with my wife since we started going out. I stopped but it was tempting. The other woman was incidentally also married and about the same age. Point is, my system works, my rational mind works, my sexual arousal system doesn't. Now I went to a therapist and he suggested I talk to my wife. I had that 'talk' but then what? I bought books, stimulant creams from a sex store. It doesn't work. I have had dreams about my numerous other partners and I have a hard on in the morning but with her I fail. I want my marriage to work and I want kids with her. I am failing while she sits and is patiently supporting me. The taste of change got to me and now it is destroying my marriage. Can anyone suggest something really solid? Even a medicine? Getting a new woman is not a problem getting the right one is and she is the right one and deserves better. And yes I love her.