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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We have been S2.5 months and I have instituted NC, 180, go dark, and let her go.

Xmas is her favorite holiday, my plan was to get a present and a card and i would write "Merry Christmas STBXW , HiRoad". I was not going to give her a card or present unless she got me one PERIOD!

Also, what about her family and my nieces/nephews on that side, do i get them anything (cards, gifts), or does that go against the 180?:scratchhead:

What are the rules for a newly S couple with D papers already filed thanks to STBXW.
 

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Are kids involved?

if not, a card seems more than sufficient.

If yes, then definitely send a card and I would consider sending a card or small present (framed picture of the kids) to the grandparents with a note saying "Thanks for being a source of stability and unconditional love for the kids during this challenging period. with sincere thanks -- HiRoad"
Nieces and nephews -- I'd let it pass.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Are kids involved?
I have 2 little ones (3 & 1.5)


If yes, then definitely send a card and I would consider sending a card or small present (framed picture of the kids) to the grandparents with a note saying "Thanks for being a source of stability and unconditional love for the kids during this challenging period. with sincere thanks -- HiRoad"
Nieces and nephews -- I'd let it pass
Like i said, I will get everything prepared just in case she gets me something, i dont want to look like a scrooge.

My SIL's kids i am (was) really close too. i was thinking of getting them something. And my FIL, who was devastated, it may be a good idea to get him a framed picture with your quote.

As for my MIL, she has not said one word to me since the Bomb. Even the few times she has seen me in kid exchanges she does not acknowledge anything. We have a rollercoaster realationship, i dont know, should i be the "nice guy" and get her a car
 

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nope. Nothing. Last Christmas, we had been separated 2 months. Our son was 11 months old. I got him nothing.

He got me a photo ornament from my "boys". The ornament had a picture of my son on it, and two of my deceased dogs. The photo did not include my current dog ....for some reason. :scratchhead:...:rolleyes: Sasquatch later said that he "forgot" to put my living dog's picture in the ornament.

I just thought it was a little snarky on his part because I insisted on keeping our dog when Sasquatch moved out....so, I thought it was a jab at that...but, no. It was just Sasquatch being Sasquatch. :rolleyes:

I talked to his family, and requested that they not give me anything for Christmas. I could not afford to give them anything, and it was just awkward. I did make them a photo calendar of my son. ....and they ended up buying me a AAA membership because Sasquatch left me with an old beat-up SUV, and Sasquatch's family was worried about me driving their grandson around in that old tanker.


Sasquatch gave me a trinket of some sort of Valentine's Day. (This was 2 days after he wrote me a "kiss-off" letter and said that he didn't want to give up his 'one true love' to be with me. ) After that, I told him that I do not want anymore trinkets of gifts from him. If he felt the need to give me something, then I asked him to just give me the money he would have spent on the trinket.

....I bet he spent $20 on that stupid Christmas ornament. I would have rather had the $20...rather than an ornament that had my dead dogs' picture on it.
 
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Angelpixie and I are giving the same thing for Christmas. :) exactly what I was going to write opening this thread. Might shove a little something extra up his @ss for a stocking stuffer...
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this is a hard question for me. In reclection, I did neglect my wife a bit. I was lazy a lot of the times. Didn't give 100% to our relationship. Sure, all fixable things. My wife doesn't know how to communicate. Instead of telling me she was "tired of doing this or that" She kept quiet, was content. She couldn't tell me she was content instead of happy.

Should I blame her? I didn't know how to do things right either.

She chose to cheat, but I don't know where to put that one.

There are things I have in motion, that I've had in motion for a while that basically I have very little to do to finish the gifts.

The few gifts I had in mind for her, have been gifts that I meant to give her for the past 2 years. But never did. In a way I feel she deserves them from the past, and I shouldn't hold the present accountable for neglecting those things. Not sure where I stand.

Friend said "Get her the gifts. Wrap them nicely and put them under your tree. Keep your NC and if she shows up for Christmas, give them to her"

I don't know about that either. A different friend said to mail them to her... if I give her the gifts in the first place.

She doesn't talk to me unless it's about the kid, well until recently. She sent a text that really didn't have to do with kiddo. But other than that... nothing. So yeah, This could go either way for me.

Still haven't decided yet.
 
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