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Discussion Starter #1
While the title is tongue in cheek, it seems there is a BPD phenomenon running rampant on this forum. Another poster and I spoke on the phone about this. While I have no doubt as to BPD being prevalent, it seems it is now the "en vogue" thing now.

So many people on here are so quick to diagnose their spouses with something to explain away irrational behavior. IMO, some people are just screwed up and by trying to label them with something you are trying to justify their bad behavior.

I suppose thinking your spouse has a personality disorder might help in some way but, ultimately the decision to stay and deal with such a person is up to you. Most BPD'ers will never seek the help they need nor will they ever be cured.

Not really expecting many responses on this post, just something that has been on my mind for awhile.
 

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So many people on here are so quick to diagnose their spouses with something to explain away irrational behavior. IMO, some people are just screwed up and by trying to label them with something you are trying to justify their bad behavior.
I've noticed this as well, and I went down that path with my W. I still think there is a possibility that she's a high-functioning BPD, but I'll never know. Maybe it doesn't really matter, b/c she has a number of issues, and all I can do is work on how I interact with her. That would include laying down rock solid boundaries, and knowing when it's time to end this.

Pidge, thanks for sharing your knowledge here.:smthumbup:
 

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An MRI study doesn't provide any conclusive evidence that BPD could be a biologically based disorder rather than a personality disorder.

Personally, while I have no doubt about the existence of the personality disorder, I agree with pidge and generally think it's become a convenient and trendy catch-all to justify adult erratic a$$holes, much like the all-pervasive ADHD for kids. Great strides have definitely been made in learning more about the actual disorder and the options for treatment are growing all the time, which is great. I just find it odd that so many people are getting "diagnosed" with a disorder that apparently most therapists and doctors won't tell their patients they have???
 

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Discussion Starter #7
To be diagnosed by medical professionals, not Forum Members or husbands and wives...or your own self! JMO.
I agree with this for the most part. The posters I am aware of have not tried to diagnose just give an awareness of what could be the problem. Everyone exhibits BPD traits at one point or another. Whether or not they are at a diagnostic level though can only be determined by a professional.

FTR, I did NOT diagnose myself. I was diagnosed 7yrs ago by a psychiatrist after his observation of me and my taking the MMPI and the MMPI II.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
The "don't tell the borderline" thinking is changing. For one, in the DSM 5 the disorder will probably be move from Axis II to Axis I which infers it's treatable. But no matter what Axis it's on, it's treatable. Hard to treat but can be done.
Treat being the operative word. There is no cure.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
BPD isn’t a straight forward diagnosis; there are many factors involved. One doesn’t go from having the disorder to healing easily. Many years of pathological living creates someone who’s self-destructive. IMO not everything about BPD is bad. Those who have this disorder can be creative, intelligent, witty and kind. It’s the loneliness, impulsiveness and past traumas that make dealing with the disorder difficult.
I am aware of this. One of the great things about being a "self aware" BPD'er is indeed my awareness.
 

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Yep. I definitely can be described as a crazy ***** sometimes but it doesn't feel good: it feels out of control and hurtful.
I'm over that now. I can laugh at myself. I say I'm adoringly neurotic. However I have spent 4 years in therapy learning to just get through the day without wanting to run someone over so that helps. LOL
 

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well the point I was making with my joke was that too many posters are too quick to leap to the BPD diagnosis after hearing a one sided account of someone's behavior.
So true. I have noticed this as well and honestly, it gets a little annoying.

Part of me thinks I "used" to be BPD, but given that they usually don't evolve into an awareness like Pidge, I'm skeptical of that now. I started changing my behaviors before therapy. Hell, even before I got married.

So maybe I'm just batsh!t. LoL!!
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Discussion Starter #20
well the point I was making with my joke was that too many posters are too quick to leap to the BPD diagnosis after hearing a one sided account of someone's behavior.
I agree with you on the one sided point. To be fair though, BPD'ers are very manipulative. Even if we heard the other person's side, we still wouldn't know the truth. Unless we were observing the conditions inside the home would we even begin to see what an OP sees? Honestly, I don't know that I would immediately think someone was a fellow BPD'er or just a b!tch/azzhole.
 
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