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For ME...ABSOLUTELY NOT. I have NO interest in "competition" - if I have to compete for something, especially a man's feelings and attention, it's not worth it to me. Even if a guy showed alot of interest in me, if I could tell that he was being pursued by many women, he would become less attractive to me, if not untouchable.

I would never try to convince a guy that I was the best he could get...because I'm NOT...Lol!!

I am much more attracted to a man for having strength and confidence, for being unselfish and compassionate. I don't care if other women want him or not - if I see qualities that I like in him, then I will be attracted to him.
 

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I think insecure people - regardless of gender - would have a thing for someone who comes off as (or is) promiscuous, has other options, and makes it clear to their partner that they are keeping these options open.

The insecure person looks to validate themself by being "loved," and so is willing to chase another person and play these games.

Mature people would not tolerate that sort of treatment.
I think you're wrong here. I'm married to the world's most insecure person and having other people interested in/attracted to me just causes "I'm not good enough, he likes her more, he's going to leave" etc thoughts. A super insecure person isn't going to "fight" for the guy everyone wants... they assume they'd never get them, be a fool, etc.
 

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I think you're wrong here. I'm married to the world's most insecure person and having other people interested in/attracted to me just causes "I'm not good enough, he likes her more, he's going to leave" etc thoughts. A super insecure person isn't going to "fight" for the guy everyone wants... they assume they'd never get them, be a fool, etc.
I think you both might be wright. There are insecure people with high egos, and there are insecure people with lower ego. They will react differently.
 

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I think ignoring the cheating/promiscuous characteristic mentioned by OP would be beneficial.

I believe it is a very small percentage of people who would be attracted to a cheater. Maybe more towards someone who is promiscuous but it still isn't a large group.

Seeing that someone is attractive as a mate, to many as well as you, is a fairly well studied behavior and one I have both seen and experienced.

I'm not talking about insecurity or jealousy here either because I have almost never experienced those emotions as an adult.
 

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Seeing that someone is attractive as a mate, to many as well as you, is a fairly well studied behavior and one I have both seen and experienced.
This would have to do more with EGO, I think...??

I'm not talking about insecurity or jealousy here either because I have almost never experienced those emotions as an adult.
I have NEVER experienced jealousy...I don't know why not, all I know is that when people talk about it, I can't understand what they are feeling at all.

However, I can be very insecure...but I'm practical about it, and don't torment my partner with it - it mostly swirls around inside ME. But I harshly reject any situations that could lead to me feeling insecure...my attitude tends to be, "if you want HER, good for you - GO"...I'm not one for big, dramatic displays! If I feel unwanted, I will LEAVE, without looking back.
 

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Nature article about female attraction to faces.

Psychology Today about mate choice copying.

There have been a couple studies that say on average guys who are seen to be taken or approached by another woman are more attractive. It can be as superficial as making the women move in a speed dating event. There were of course lots of caveats like you can't assume that this applies in any particular case but does have an effect of the sum of the whole population or whatever.

There was a bit of evolutionary biology hand waving about an approached male having more to offer or being vetted by another female or whatever.
 

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It depends on the woman. If she's shallow or doesn't trust herself, then she very well may rely on others' opinions to know whether someone is of value.

I do think there can be an element of that beyond that. For example a friend of mine who has a really unattractive husband is convinced women find him attractive because he tells her so, trying to keep her on her toes, I guess. I have stopped just short of telling her he is in no way attractive when she tells me these stories. I mean, he really isn't. He looks like Alfred E. Newman from Mad Magazine. I love her, but she has abandonment issues driving her love life. He's also a bad husband, which is the part I really care about. But she's decided it's enough, and he has improved a little in recent years after many years of nonparticipation in the family's life other than bringing a paycheck. So the more he improves, the better he looks to me.
 

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One of the oldest and most effective marketing strategies is playing on peer pressure, and the perception of demand. "This is the IN trend this summer" "Everybody is buying this" Something seen in demand tends to create even more demand and desire for the product. The person in possession of the object tends to become more covetous of it because it tends to give an elevated status, or at least self perceived elevated status. People also tend to look to others to form their own opinions in many different aspects of their lives. Look at the impact things such as Yelp and other ratings systems have for businesses.

This question is functionally the same as "Does the psychology of marketing techniques work?" And the answer is a resounding yes because it relies on the same emotional triggers.

Now that is not to say that the original premise here applies to everyone. Of course it doesn't, much as marketing techniques don't work on every one, however, it is effective enough that companies spend billions of dollars a year studying, refining, and promoting what works.
 

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It might help if another woman mentions something likeable about you. So it's a good idea to think about your reputation in chosen circles. But just going down a list of women you could if you wanted to isn't going to help.

I can think of one guy I briefly dated (and who was very hard to get rid of) who would tell me about the woman he could have had. It begs the question, why are you wasting your time here.
 

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Discussion Starter #33
Did this thing you saw actually say that women prefer “cheating/promiscuous” men or were those your words and your own judgement?

Are you making an assumption that men who attract many women are going to automatically be promiscuous or cheating on someone?
It said that women are attracted to promiscuous men and encouraged cheating because a lack of cheating would signal that the man lacks options. It also said that monogamy doesn't benefit men.
 

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It said that women are attracted to promiscuous men and encouraged cheating because a lack of cheating would signal that the man lacks options. It also said that monogamy doesn't benefit men.
I, frankly, do not know any woman who would be attracted to cheating men. You know, we did move on since the time when we were climbing the trees.....
 

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Most people aren't going to want someone that nobody else wants unless they're extremely insecure. So in that sense most people, both men amd women, like to think their partner has value.

I shared a picture of my bf with a friend I hadn't talked to in a while as she lives in another state and her response was "life....he's really good looking. You guys look really into each other". I liked hearing that.

But someone who has poor boundaries and can't be trusted becomes unattractive, at least to me.

I know my guy loves that others are looking at me, but I have boundaries and he doesn't have to worry about me.

My cousin, otoh, married a guy who was very heavy (think 600 pounds heavy) and 15 years older. He's otherwise a nice looking guy and a neat guy to chat with, so I could see how she'd enjoy his company, but objectively she was by far the better catch and I think she preferred that.

Well eventually he had surgery and started to lose weight, and lo and behold she started cooking lots of crap. He continued to lose weight and he's getting to the point where other women are looking and I don't think she likes that.

He hasn't given any reason to think he's untrustworthy and at least on the surface is completely devoted to her. And I think she genuinely loves him and is glad his health is better, but also struggles with the thought of him having options.

We'll see how it goes.....I hope they come out on top.
 

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It is not attractive for my partner to be a flirt. It is attractive for my partner to have respect and pride and just be a good catch and a good decent man in general. Men like this are attractive, and I’m sure other women think he’s attractive. It’s nice to have other people think oh wow she’s lucky she has such a good man.

If he is hot and flirty and all these other women think he’s hot, but he isn’t trust worthy and he loves attention from women... no thanks, that is super unattractive.

I am pretty sure it goes the same for both genders.
 

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I think you generally find your spouse/SO attractive, but for some reason, if someone else finds them so, it bothers you...especially if they SHOW they are attracted to your SO/spouse. I think it's one of the worst forms of disrespect. But you're definitely on to something there OP.
 

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It said that women are attracted to promiscuous men and encouraged cheating because a lack of cheating would signal that the man lacks options. It also said that monogamy doesn't benefit men.
Who said? This women has no interest whatsoever in any man who has cheated or is promiscious, nor could I trust him. Its a mans strong moral values and integrity that I find attractive.
 
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