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I've been separated for a year and divorced for about 8 mos, and have a 4 yr old daughter with my exW. We are totally amicable, and work well together in coparenting. I've been dating a girl since shortly before my D was final, and I don't want to disrespect that relationship. GF is understandably a bit uncomfortable with it, but she knows my daughter comes first and ultimately she wants us to do what's best for her, too. Within that boundary, I make efforts to do things together with my ex for my daughter - dance recitals, her bday party, etc.
Where I'm having a hard time now are things like gifts and holiday events. My ex asked if I'd bring my daughter to xmas eve mass, and to take her to see The Nutcracker again this year (both fall within my xmas possession dates this year). I am having a hard time deciding if it is healthier for my daughter to do things like that, invite my ex to my place for xmas morning, etc. Or, is it better to keep our lives more separate and not give her false hope? I also fear that someday one of us will have a family that we want to spend xmas morning with, for example, and I don't want my daughter to feel like she was suddenly cut out. Like it's better to rip the band-aid off now...
Also on gifts - For xmas, ex's bday, and Mother's Day in the last year, I have either helped my daughter make a craft type gift or took her to pick out a small purchased gift, and cards. Ex does the same for me. It feels more and more strange to do this as time passes, but at the same time, I think it's the right thing to do for my daughter.
Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear from anyone with experience - divorced with children, or children of divorce. Not too interested in opinions from people without children, but feel free to chime in anyway.
Where I'm having a hard time now are things like gifts and holiday events. My ex asked if I'd bring my daughter to xmas eve mass, and to take her to see The Nutcracker again this year (both fall within my xmas possession dates this year). I am having a hard time deciding if it is healthier for my daughter to do things like that, invite my ex to my place for xmas morning, etc. Or, is it better to keep our lives more separate and not give her false hope? I also fear that someday one of us will have a family that we want to spend xmas morning with, for example, and I don't want my daughter to feel like she was suddenly cut out. Like it's better to rip the band-aid off now...
Also on gifts - For xmas, ex's bday, and Mother's Day in the last year, I have either helped my daughter make a craft type gift or took her to pick out a small purchased gift, and cards. Ex does the same for me. It feels more and more strange to do this as time passes, but at the same time, I think it's the right thing to do for my daughter.
Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear from anyone with experience - divorced with children, or children of divorce. Not too interested in opinions from people without children, but feel free to chime in anyway.