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So, my "wife" finally moved out last week-end and the little one was with me all week until yesterday after lunch, when she then went to her mother's apartment. Had my first quiet meal at home in a long time. Yay... :( She is now taking a nap, as mother is working and school is closed. Thanksgiving day here. What is there to be thankful for, really?

Wife cheated and lied on me for over 1.5 year, she is now on her own, able to do whatever she wants, when she wants, in search of whatever it is she is looking for...

But me, I get nothing good in all of this. She's happy, I'm not. I did not ask for all of this crap. I'm still in a state of numbness, trying to make sense of everything, trying to see where I'm going with my life. Right now, the only thing that keeps me going is my young daughter. But going where? To what?

Divorce cannot be applied for before it has been at least 12 months we are apart. She is working, I am retired. When time for divorce comes, she is entitled to 50% of my pension for the length of time we have been married, 12 years to be exact. Her income will increase by 1,500$/month and mine will be reduced to 1,500$. She currently complains that living on her 2,000/month is expensive, where will that leave me with only 1,500$? I will have to live in a dump for 12 years before I can start getting my previous "wage". My pension is a fixed income, hers has the possibility of wage increases, promotions, etc... I'm stuck in the same place. My prospects do not exactly look very good in a year from now or later...

Please, tell me there is something else beside this impending doom on my head? Because I cannot see it if there is...
 

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You don't say your age but if you have a toddler (assuming due to nap?) then you must be fairly young to be retired. Can't you get a part time job? It will occupy your time, allow you to meet new people...

Or maybe become the babysitter? Sit for the same amount of money she'd pay a daycare, only with the bonus the child gets 1 on 1 attention with Dad? Come up with a plan for each day - instructional time, TV time, park/outdoor activity time...

Happiness comes from inside, not external influences. Volunteer somewhere if you can't find a job. Having a reason to get up every day is important and you'll feel good that you are contributing. Take a walk every day for exercise. Learn something new... take up a hobby. You have to create something to look forward to doing.

Sorry I don't know what Canadian laws are.
 

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Would your ex be entitled to any of the "extra" money you'd make if you did get another job?

Since you're retired, could you get primary custody of your child and would that possible have her paying you support money for the child?

What has your lawyer told you?
 

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Hamster, you are divorcing and with that comes the opportunity to not let your enjoyment of life hinge on her behavior. So what, you are making $1500/mo but have all kinds of free time, so do something you want with it. I assume you are going through a lawyer for the separation agreement, so what does your lawyer say about getting to keep as much of your income as you can? Are you co-parenting with her or does she have primary custody? If you have custody, since she has higher income atleast you would get child support payments from her. Downsize if you must, don't have to think of it as a "dump" even though you can't afford the same lifestyle on less than your previous single income you can still get by, you may even enjoy a smaller place - or maybe you will meet a really nice, responsible lady down the road that has a good career and you both hit it off and make a home together in the future? But you should make yourself ready for that instead of holding on to your ex.

Your marriage hasn't turned out like you originally wanted but you should still embrace your life.
 

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Hamster - I am so sorry about all of this. I know you are unhappy but is there a possiblity you are clinically depressed? Have you seen a doctor?
 
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