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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Misophonia is directly related to/causes anxiety and depression in life and relationships, so I thought I could post this here.

I suffer from Misophonia. It's a rare disorder in which certain soft sounds create instantaneous "fight or flight" responses and intense anxiety for me.

It's an incredibly difficult thing for anyone outside of this disorder to understand, and it's relatively new in terms of just being discovered. Here they are talking about it on the TODAY show (some of the examples shown are pretty intense/crazy looking, not all of us are so extreme)

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone here is dealing with this in life and their marriage? It's been a source of huge depression/anxiety for me since I was very little.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
Interesting, so you think the OP has it in that thread?

It's cool to know someone even recognizes the term! I can mention it to doctors and even they haven't heard of it. Which makes the entire disorder even MORE difficult to deal with. :(
 

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Im a linguistic junkie, even if I know nothing about it.

Does it count when a goober gets in the (quiet) elevator and starts mashing fistfulls of chips into his gob and chomping like there was no tomorrow? It makes me just about jump out of my skin.

But maybe thats normal to react like that to oblivious self indulgent knuckleheads. ;)

How to you get set off? Like shusshing sounds or something?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Does it count when a goober gets in the (quiet) elevator and starts mashing fistfulls of chips into his gob and chomping like there was no tomorrow? It makes me just about jump out of my skin.

But maybe thats normal to react like that to oblivious self indulgent knuckleheads. ;)
Haha MAN I think that would drive anyone insane!! :rofl:

I cannot even describe what that scenario would do to someone with Misophonia. It would make me want to climb out of the top of the elevator and climb the cords to safety a la Secret Agent style. (of course in reality I would just nondescriptly cover my ears ;) )

How to you get set off? Like shusshing sounds or something?
Well, hopefully this list won't make me sound completely insane. Because truly people that have this are as normal as the next person UNTIL they hear one of their noises. It's like someone who hypnotizes someone to cluck like a chicken when they hear a certain sound. Misophonia people are hard wired to feel intense anxiety (or rage) as soon as they hear one of these sounds. It's SO bizarre and can be severely debilitating.

The sounds vary per person. It starts with one sound in particular in childhood (usually a sound coming from an authority figure, mom, dad, teacher, etc.) then as life goes on you grow to have a giant list of tigger noises. It's awful.

Mine are:

Breathing (first trigger)
Snoring
Chewing!
Gum popping
Whistley "S" sounds
Strong "P" sounds (this one is husband exclusive. Weird)
foot tapping (visual trigger, which also happens)
Bass playing outside of the room I'm in.
Dogs Barking (when trying to concentrate)
Basketball bouncing (when trying to concentrate)
People talking in another room (this one's not as bad).

There's probably more, but you get the point. Imagine being hardwired to feel EXTREME anxiety as soon as you hear one of those things. You cannot help it, and there's no cure. It's so awful.

I'm just happy I have a very understanding husband, and a job at home in a quiet neighborhood. But still, it's really hard to handle sometimes.

Thanks for the interest :)
 

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without knowing anything about it, I would guess that behavioral therapy of some kind might help? I suppose the trick would be finding someone that has dealt with it before - nopody wants to be a guinnea pig for someone else to 'practice' on.
 

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Oh my gosh, this is making me think of my daughter. She has been not wanting to go to school because she's afraid the teacher might accidentally scrape a fingernail or the chalk the wrong way on the chalkboard. She worries about it at night and can't fall asleep. She's always been sensitive to loud/unsettling noises, but she's 7 now and this still feels a bit out of the blue. She was getting much better about it.

I mean, of course no one LIKES the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, but I am definitely worried that she is so stressed about the possibility of hearing it. Is there a way to intervene now and nip this in the bud if it's that? Any websites you recommend?
 

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I've never heard of this and it sounds strange but I sort of understand. I go into a rage from licking sounds, like my dog licking his paw. Of course I don't hurt my dog, but I immediately put my hand under his jaw do he will stop that noise because it makes me so aggitated for some unknown reason.
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Something about it almost reminds me a little of a sensory disorder.
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Something about it almost reminds me a little of a sensory disorder.
You're right, they often describe it that way!

What people theorize is that we start relating horrible feelings to a sound, and our brains (being wired a little differently) refine the process to a point where the sound instantly brings up those feelings in a REALLY intense way, and out "fight or flight" response is triggered.

It's AWFUL. I have to live in a constant state of vigilance to stay away from offending sounds, and learn how to "talk myself down" each time it happens (which is like 20 times a day) so I don't cry, or run away. I'm just so happy my husband understands so well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 · (Edited)
Oh my gosh, this is making me think of my daughter. She has been not wanting to go to school because she's afraid the teacher might accidentally scrape a fingernail or the chalk the wrong way on the chalkboard. She worries about it at night and can't fall asleep. She's always been sensitive to loud/unsettling noises, but she's 7 now and this still feels a bit out of the blue. She was getting much better about it.

I mean, of course no one LIKES the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, but I am definitely worried that she is so stressed about the possibility of hearing it. Is there a way to intervene now and nip this in the bud if it's that? Any websites you recommend?
Hmmm she may be starting to have misophonia (which can start around her age), or she may have phonophobia, which is being afraid of sudden, loud noises. My son has phonophobia, I think. He gets REALLY anxious when he's around something that's known to produce sudden, loud noises. He'll start crying or try to run if he's forced to be around them.

For Misophonia, the major difference is normal people will be annoyed (even really annoyed) because of a sound, but people with Misophonia CANNOT remain in the same area as the sound without coping in some way. They MUST either run, cover their ears, or make the sound stop.

When I was in school, my 6th grade teacher has VERY whistly "S" sounds. It bothered me SO much I begged my mom to home school me, but I was forced to go to school anyway. I ended up putting tissue in my ears to dull the sound from then on, or cover my ears. It was HORRIBLE.

Are you able to view her reactions while in school (without her knowing you're there) Does your daughter have any aversion to other sounds?

There is no known way to nip this in the bud. I have my own theory.

My theory: When she complains of a sounds, it's critical to get her away from the sound for a long long time, so you can stop the brain from associating a fight or flight response to it. As you age, the repertoire of sounds that cause this reaction continues to grow, so you need to be vigilant when she starts mentioning noises that bother her so you can keep her from them for awhile.

I did this recently with my husband. We all had colds and coughing was becoming a sound that made me have that reaction. Coughing is a common trigger sound for us, and if it goes onto extremes, then soon whenever ANYONE coughs I would have a reaction.

So I mentioned to him that I thought I might be starting to "get a new sound" and to please try his hardest to help me stay away from his coughing. He did, and now when I hear an occassional cough, it doesn't bother me (which would NOT be possible if coughing became a trigger sound for me). I believe I may have kept my mind from continuing to associate fight or flight to the sound. Once a sounds becomes a true trigger sound, it's PERMANENT :(

So MAYBE if you can change her class you can stop it. And if you do so, make sure she does not realize you're doing it because of the sound issue, that would only draw attention in her mind to it. But please realize this is ONLY a theory of mine that only I have started testing.

I hope that all made sense. I'll research some sites for you. There's various communities where people can connect on the issue too.

Thank you for your post :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I've never heard of this and it sounds strange but I sort of understand. I go into a rage from licking sounds, like my dog licking his paw. Of course I don't hurt my dog, but I immediately put my hand under his jaw do he will stop that noise because it makes me so aggitated for some unknown reason.
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If you are unable to stand the sound for ANY length of time, you may very well have low level Misophonia. Are there any other sounds that bother you?
 

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Wow...I experience this with:

Pouring beverages...the glug glug glug makes me crazy...

Snoring or heavy breathing...I sleep with foam earplugs...snoring MAKES ME NUTS! even if I'm not trying to sleep...

Throat clearing makes me crazy.....

It isn't to the point where you are...but I never thought anyone had those issues...peace to you!
 

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I am not sure if I have this or not but having hearing issues doesn't help. I have hearing aids but frankly most of the time I prefer being deaf. I have constant ringing that I finally got used to as before it was making me anxious and depressed.

With the hearing aids, someone tapping, clicking a pen, or any other annoying habits people have like that just makes me want to punch them.

tv background noise can be unbearable.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Wow...I experience this with:

Pouring beverages...the glug glug glug makes me crazy...

Snoring or heavy breathing...I sleep with foam earplugs...snoring MAKES ME NUTS! even if I'm not trying to sleep...

Throat clearing makes me crazy.....

It isn't to the point where you are...but I never thought anyone had those issues...peace to you!
Yeah, sounds like you might have some tendencies for Misophonia if you cannot stand snoring sounds while not trying to sleep. Can you put up with these sounds for awhile before they REALLY start to bother you, or are you INSTANTLY super upset about them?
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I am not sure if I have this or not but having hearing issues doesn't help. I have hearing aids but frankly most of the time I prefer being deaf. I have constant ringing that I finally got used to as before it was making me anxious and depressed.

With the hearing aids, someone tapping, clicking a pen, or any other annoying habits people have like that just makes me want to punch them.

tv background noise can be unbearable.
Wow, if the reaction to want to punch someone is INSTANT upon hearing the noise (a very common Misophonia trait) then you may well have it for sure.

I am so very sorry for your hearing troubles. :( I really hope me saying this doesn't seem insensitive to your situation, but I often fleetingly wished that somehow I would be rendered deaf, or had hearing loss of some kind. That way I could live my life without feeling this way ever again. Sometimes living with this is utterly unbearable.
 

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I am not sure if it is instantly as I notice it and then I get all tense and sit there praying they stop or turn my hearing aids off. Sometimes you just can't run away from it like on a plane or bus.

Have you tried ear plugs?
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I am not sure if it is instantly as I notice it and then I get all tense and sit there praying they stop or turn my hearing aids off. Sometimes you just can't run away from it like on a plane or bus.

Have you tried ear plugs?
If you instantly notice it, and start to get really anxious (especially if you cannot escape or make it stop) I think you may have Misophonia. When it's normal, then people can grit their teeth and bear it. We cannot. We HAVE to do something. Have you ever been faced with a sound you couldn't escape or make stop?

Oh, ear plugs are my best friend! :smthumbup: I have to wear them every night, and my husband can't sleep in the same room with me anymore because he snores (and the ear plugs don't muffle that :( ) I also wear them in movie theaters (popcorn munchers) and at important dinners when I cannot leave the room (Thanksgiving). Some people with Misophonia have to wear them all day long, but I refuse to do that, so I work really hard to make my environment as safe for me as possible (luckily I work at home! ;) )

Misophonia is awful. I'm a comic book artist so one of my goals in life is to produce a school pamplet in comic book form that talks about Misophonia and how kids, teachers, and parents could keep an eye out for it. The people who suffer the most are the children in school with this that have NO ONE around them who know about Misophonia, and so keep forcing them to go to public school without learning coping methods. Left unchecked it can lead to severe depression, suicide, and other issues as an adult.
 

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I was in an office for an appointment one time when someone set the alarm off and I jumped and I put my hands over my ears and just looked down at the floor. It was like I was trying to make myself as small as possible.
 

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Please google misophonia and 4S Soft Sound Sensitivity syndrome. There are so many that suffer because "normal" sounds reach them at a totally different frequency causing significant discomfort. The more people that know about it; the more compassionate people might be.
 
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