Hey everyone i'm new to the forum and was looking for a little help/input from you all.
My wife and i will have been married for 3 yrs on Sept 30th. We just started couples counseling last week but the counselor split us up and we are seeing diff. people for the time being.
here is the back story...
from the beginning we have had some issues with cheating. she cheated on me while we were in a long distance relationship. i tried to understand why she did what she did based on her passed and being depressed and not feeling wanted and such and i tried to let it go. time went on and it happened several more times. i let it go. i never yelled at her i just told her this stuff has got to stop. yelling or getting physical are far from who i am.
things started to get worse and i started to become controlling, wanting to know where she was and who she was with and what they were doing. i had lost all trust. I started getting more angry and taking everything out on her to the point she started to hate me. she didnt want to be near me. so she left. she moved to maryland and stayed with a friend. i would pay to have her come visit but most of the time it ended in just fighting. we were just bad for each other. we stopped talking altogether and she moved on to some other guy. it killed me i didn't know what to do i struggled to fix everything i didn't feel like i was at fault. to make things worse she came up one last time to get all her belongings and i again we fault this time it got physical. she told me that i never ever tried to fix the marriage and that it was a waste of time and she wanted a divorce.(i had gone to counseling for myself for a year, and took multiple anger management classes on her request.) i flipped out. i lost it. i was trying so hard to get her back and i would have done anything and now she wants a divorce. i ended up dragging her down the stairs and out the door and told her to leave. i couldn't take it anymore, i had a melt down. we didnt talk for about a month, month and a half. i ended up moving to maryland (work reasons) which eliminated the distance. now we are going to counseling and everything is looking up.
im lost i dont know what to do. its been so long since we have been together. I miss her to death. i want to get better and move on but im really impatient. anyone have any good reads or any good advice for me.
Sorry if my story is hard to follow. i can add info if need be.
Thank you all for reading.
My wife and i will have been married for 3 yrs on Sept 30th. We just started couples counseling last week but the counselor split us up and we are seeing diff. people for the time being.
here is the back story...
from the beginning we have had some issues with cheating. she cheated on me while we were in a long distance relationship. i tried to understand why she did what she did based on her passed and being depressed and not feeling wanted and such and i tried to let it go. time went on and it happened several more times. i let it go. i never yelled at her i just told her this stuff has got to stop. yelling or getting physical are far from who i am.
things started to get worse and i started to become controlling, wanting to know where she was and who she was with and what they were doing. i had lost all trust. I started getting more angry and taking everything out on her to the point she started to hate me. she didnt want to be near me. so she left. she moved to maryland and stayed with a friend. i would pay to have her come visit but most of the time it ended in just fighting. we were just bad for each other. we stopped talking altogether and she moved on to some other guy. it killed me i didn't know what to do i struggled to fix everything i didn't feel like i was at fault. to make things worse she came up one last time to get all her belongings and i again we fault this time it got physical. she told me that i never ever tried to fix the marriage and that it was a waste of time and she wanted a divorce.(i had gone to counseling for myself for a year, and took multiple anger management classes on her request.) i flipped out. i lost it. i was trying so hard to get her back and i would have done anything and now she wants a divorce. i ended up dragging her down the stairs and out the door and told her to leave. i couldn't take it anymore, i had a melt down. we didnt talk for about a month, month and a half. i ended up moving to maryland (work reasons) which eliminated the distance. now we are going to counseling and everything is looking up.
im lost i dont know what to do. its been so long since we have been together. I miss her to death. i want to get better and move on but im really impatient. anyone have any good reads or any good advice for me.
Sorry if my story is hard to follow. i can add info if need be.
Thank you all for reading.