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Another topic about small boobs... I know, but please help me!

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S
I have smallish boobs... a B cup. I know it doesn't sound too bad, but I'm kinda tall at 5'7" and not very thin at 143 lbs... and I have very wide hips (luckily my waist is small, but still, my hips look massive!). During high school I was teased a lot; girls would make fun of my hips ('cause they all had tiny hips) and guys would make fun of my small breasts. Even though I'm 24 now, it still left scars.

Then I met my ex, and everything was good, until it wasn't. We had lots of issues, which sadly showed his darker side. He's a manipulative person... so he of course manipulated me a lot. One of the things he used the most to manipulate me was my insecurity about my small breasts. He would say they were too small, but at the same time called me fat... then if I lost some weight he'd say that my breasts were getting smaller and he didn't like it, so if ended up flat, I'd have to get implants. Then other times, he'd say I was hot, but I'd be hotter with bigger breasts.

Also, all the celebrities he said were hot were busty. All the porn he watched was big boob porn... when I asked him why he just said those women were hot. As I was so insecure I made the mistake of asking if they were hotter than me to which he replied "of course, it's their job and all guys think porn stars are hotter than their girlfriends, they're lying if they say otherwise".

He used to say he loved my wit, brains, creativity, talents, humor, spontaneity... and while that was nice, it made me feel more like a friend than a sexy girlfriend... I wanted to feel like I had an irresistible body, but he made me feel flawed and like I was just brains to him.

When I broke up with him and told him one of the reasons was that he didn't like my body as it was, he apologized and took all back, but to this day I don't believe him because he just sounded way more honest when he criticized me. Also where I live all guys are obsessed with big boobs, to the point where the other day some of my friends were talking about this butt ugly chick who has massive boobs. I said she's butt ugly and they said "who cares if she has such a huge rack".

Then kinda to make me feel better they said those girls are only hot for having sex, but for a long term relationship they care more about the face and not necessarily about big boobs (but if she has them, then it's better). Still, I feel like I'll never be good enough... and I still have so many emotional scars, I feel so low and my confidence is just shattered.

I'm way more than just relationship material... I like sex, so I also want to feel valued, respected, cherished and like my body is more than enough. At times, my ex made me feel like my body was "sufficient" but it was all he could get. And to a point, what my friends said sounded like the same... like someone with small boobs is good just as a body to use when you can't get your hands on a busty woman. I just want to feel that I can be as hot if not more than some porn star.

Even TV shows so many stupid things and jokes that glorify big breasts and put down small... I'm sorry, I'm just so sensitive to this, I don't know where to draw confidence from... and it affects me because I don't want to get close to any guy.

How can I go about finding a guy who genuinely likes small breasts, and is not just settling so he can get laid regularly? Are there guys who truly prefer small breasts over large, and so, how to find them?

Do all guys like small breasts, but think big breasts are universally better?

Should I consider implants (I'd only get a D I think)?

Do all guys have that madonna/***** complex (where one girl may not be hot but is smart so good for a relationship, and another is hot but just for sex)?

Do all guys want a woman who looks like a porn star (just who looks like that, not that she is an actual porn star with STDs)?

How do you think I can let go of all these insecurities... I swear just the thought of a guy seeing or touching my breasts paralizes me because I fear they will be dissatisfied or prefer bigger. I don't know how to overcome this :( It might sound vain but I'm in tears as I write!
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P
As a 44 year old guy... I've always liked smaller breasts over large. And especially over large fake ones.

My advice... Work on your self esteem in general. So you don't feel like you have to put up with boyfriends who are ass holes.

C
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Thor
SeQ, don't get implants! That's my honest opinion. Natural is always better.

I'm a 51 yr old man. If I were taller, had more hair, had more money, had less body fat, etc... would I be more desirable? Well I suppose so, but it then I would not be ME. I could get surgery to have Matt Damon's face. I could wear lifts in my shoes. I could get hair implants. None of that changes the person does it?

You're 24, the same age as my eldest daughter. So it is a little weird to say this, but I think most men my age would find you sexy and beautiful just the way you are. When I was 24 yrs old I probably was a bit shallow in judging women by their appearance, but I think you are finding men who are too shallow.

You mention low self esteem especially about your breasts and hips. I think you should seek a different crowd of men and also seek to improve your self image. If every woman looked just like Barbie, every woman would be just a sex object without individuality. You are a unique person, and it is imperfections which give each of us our character.

Yes there are men who love small breasts. More importantly there are men who love the whole person.

Are you trying to attract men using sex in some way? Revealing clothing, sexual conversation, sexual dancing? Do you seek sex quickly with men to secure the relationship? If you do this you will naturally attract men who prioritize sex vs men who value sex as one part of a relationship. Do you have hobbies or interests where you can meet men in a casual environment?
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Thor said:
SeQ, don't get implants! That's my honest opinion. Natural is always better.

I'm a 51 yr old man. If I were taller, had more hair, had more money, had less body fat, etc... would I be more desirable? Well I suppose so, but it then I would not be ME. I could get surgery to have Matt Damon's face. I could wear lifts in my shoes. I could get hair implants. None of that changes the person does it?

You're 24, the same age as my eldest daughter. So it is a little weird to say this, but I think most men my age would find you sexy and beautiful just the way you are. When I was 24 yrs old I probably was a bit shallow in judging women by their appearance, but I think you are finding men who are too shallow.

You mention low self esteem especially about your breasts and hips. I think you should seek a different crowd of men and also seek to improve your self image. If every woman looked just like Barbie, every woman would be just a sex object without individuality. You are a unique person, and it is imperfections which give each of us our character.

Yes there are men who love small breasts. More importantly there are men who love the whole person.

Are you trying to attract men using sex in some way? Revealing clothing, sexual conversation, sexual dancing? Do you seek sex quickly with men to secure the relationship? If you do this you will naturally attract men who prioritize sex vs men who value sex as one part of a relationship. Do you have hobbies or interests where you can meet men in a casual environment?
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I'm very into music, not classical, but rock. I play guitar and bass, but that's the thing... you know how shallow musicians can be! My ex is also a musician... and even the "nobodies" (in that they're not even remotely famous, not even locally) seem to think sometimes that they deserve a perfect 10.

I'm not trying to get men by being sexual, I just don't want to be seen only as a great companion that isn't hot.
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WorkingOnMe
Count me in as another guy who prefers smaller breasts. Frankly I'm an ass man and don't care much about boobs. But smaller is better. Big ones tend to sag later. Smaller makes me think younger. When you're 45 with a b cup it'll be much better than with a d cup.
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D
I love smaller breasts. B cups are about perfect to me. And I'd rather have someone with an A cup than a D cup. Sorry for the ladies who have them (and my W does), but big boobs are traditionally a turn off for me. Always have been. Now, does my W know that? NO WAY IN HELL. I love her...all of her. She believes I prefer smaller breasts, but she knows I love hers as well, because they're hers. That's the truth. Would I find hers more attractive if they were smaller? Yes. I won't hide. But, in a million years, I could never conceive of letting her know that. She's the love of my life, and I'm taking all of her (big boobs, small azz, fantastic legs, pretty face, and a few stretch marks. All of her).

There are guys like me out there. But maybe more importantly there are guys who just don't care one way or the other. I'd like to "not care" but truth be known, show me a couple of equally attractive women, one with B cups, and one with D's, and I'll go for Miss B cup every single time. So yes, there are guys out there who will love your smaller boobs, and would never want you to change them.

How to find them (us)? I'm not sure. But you can test a guy early enough. Tell him you're thinking about getting a boob job, and going up to D's. Ask him how he feels about that. The correct answer is "I don't think you need, it, I love your boobs as they are, but if that's what you want to do to feel good about yourself, I'll support you", but you can usually see with either leading or following comments how he really feels. After you state that, then drop it. If he wants you to get a boob job for him, you can be sure he'll bring it up again fairly often.

We're out there (small boob lovers). We might be somewhat in the minority, but I assure you we exist. And when you're rockin' a bikini with you're B's, there isn't a D cup in the world that can divert our attention from you!

There are also those of us out there that while you may not be our "ideal", we love every bit of you because you're amazing in every way. Only a total schmuck would make comments to a woman like your ex did to you. Next time a man says something like that to you, ask him when he's goin to get a penis enlargement. And then walk away from him for good.

And lest you think that I'm a guy that will just give you the politically correct answer of "we love all boobs" or "we love you for you regardless of your boobs", when I was single for a while, I had possibly hundreds of images of naked women on my computer. Not a single one was larger than a c cup. Not a one.
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SeQ said:
I'm very into music, not classical, but rock. I play guitar and bass, but that's the thing... you know how shallow musicians can be! My ex is also a musician... and even the "nobodies" (in that they're not even remotely famous, not even locally) seem to think sometimes that they deserve a perfect 10.

I'm not trying to get men by being sexual, I just don't want to be seen only as a great companion that isn't hot.
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Please concentrate on your music more than your breast size. The only 10 you need concern yourself with is the Billboard top 10. Write songs that belong there. Music ahhhhhhhhh.
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R
hey OP thanks for contributing to my theory that Boob guys are more often than not "knuckle draggers".

Be proud of what you got. My wife has C's and I love them. Someone I dated when I was 19 had A's and she was so damn cute. Lose the jerks and life will get better.

Be a confident flirt. I think the dividends will pay off well.
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EnjoliWoman
Do not change your body. Love that your hips are curvacious and feminine. Love that your breasts are smaller but perky. It's hard work when we're hit with images of perfection all of the time. Look around you at the mall and grocery store. We come in all shapes and sizes.

I was teased for small breasts and now that I'm bigger (size 16) my boobs are, too, but funny how now I notice most movie starts have smaller breasts, now! Look at all of the pics from a red-carpet event - lots of small busts. I guess it's what you focus on. Models have smaller breasts. And I can't find a damn camisole or fitted top that covers my breasts and bra in a D-cup. And forget the stupid shelf-bras. If I actually wear the "shelf" where it should go, half of my breasts hang out. If I pull up the cami, the band cuts across my bust. Clothes are made for Bs. And although they don't point down, I'd love to have a breast lift.

I've stressed about it, too. My ex's jaw would drop and he would stare and oogle women with larger breasts (obviously and rudely, too) and I also felt my Bs were in adequate and wore push up bras and envied bustier friends. Fast forward to epiphany years after my divorce.

I went out with two women who were older than me by 5-10 years to have drinks, play pool, hang out. One was average build, small breasts, with a horsey face, wild curly red hair and dressed very artsy/funky. The other was super scarey skinny with small breasts, bleach blond should-length permed hair and had more wrinkles than she should at her age from chain smoking. At the time I was about a size 14, 40 years old, no wrinkles, pretty smile, brown shoulder length blunt cut C/D bust.

All of the guys were hitting on the other two women. Maybe they looked more available or willing due to attire (ripped jeans, huge funky dangly earrings, wildly printed shirts) whereas I had on more conservative dress: a purple drape neck long sleeved T, nice jeans and boots. Maybe thinner body trumps a pretty face in their world. Maybe I looked like a more "quality" girl and they really just wanted to get laid.

It bothered me for a while thinking guys wanted skinny body over pretty face (my assumption at the time) but I realized I don't want to attract the kind of guy who wants the wild looking fun girl. I'm fun, too and a lady in the parlor, ***** in the bedroom but they weren't willing to take the time to find that out.

So realize there is a guy who will worship every part of you and who will love your brain, your body and your personality JUST AS YOU ARE.

It's hard learning to love yourself.
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RClawson said:
hey OP thanks for contributing to my theory that Boob guys are more often than not "knuckle draggers".

Be proud of what you got. My wife has C's and I love them. Someone I dated when I was 19 had A's and she was so damn cute. Lose the jerks and life will get better.

Be a confident flirt. I think the dividends will pay off well.
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:iagree:

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Chris Taylor
Work on your self-esteem and confidence. They will get you further in life than a d-cup.
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CharlieParker
Maybe it's just me, but the kind of breast I prefer is the kind I can get my hands on.
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tiredandout
Don't sweat it, darling.

I have A cup breasts and same height as you. As others have said, attractiveness is not about cup size. This is not always an easy rule to live by but here's the truth: You need to, first and foremost, learn to love yourself as you are.

Know that you are lovable and know your worth. Learn to love your body as it is. You already know that you are not only your body, you have other great qualities. Believe it. And then when someone in the future tries to make you feel bad about the way your body is, you won't let it shake you. You'll just shake them, off.

It doesn't happen over night, believe me. I once lost weight from an already thin figure because a boyfriend told me he liked skinny girls better. I ended up almost hospitalized with anorexia and learned: If I don't love and respect my body, no one will. Same goes for the rest of me.
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pidge70
Well, after reading what some of the gentleman have to say about bigger breasts, I am a tad insecure. Luckily for me, Joe likes what I have.....:D
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D
Work on your insecurities and how to accept yourself. A woman who is confident in herself, no matter her measurements, is 1000X sexier than the prototypical pornstar body. I'll give you an example WHY you loving what you have is important.

I'm a curves man. I love boobs, hips etc. And I love shorter women. Lets just say I really loved the Sir Mixalot line "36 24 36, only if she's 5'2" " LOL. That said, 5'7" 143 b cup with some junk in the trunk...you should have ZERO issue getting men. You have a GREAT "sex" body. Slightly smaller boobs are better than slightly bigger. To me perky is more important. A perky B is MUCH sexier than a saggy D.

You need to find a mature guy. Most men have "preferences" but that doesn't mean they won't find you SUPER sexy. Your music, your interests etc. That's sexy too. Keep working on yourself and read some books on how to accept the awesome body you were given. If a guy isn't 100% into you and what you are....dump him. You don't need to compromise on that.
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chillymorn
another vote for I dn't care what size your boobs are its all about a sexy attitude. love yourself for who you are and the right man will show up when least expected. just know what to look for. and that would be a man who treats you with respect and finds you sexy for who you are and the way you look .
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A
Here's a very nerdy response...

As you know, what we view as "sexy" or "beautiful" changes depending on the time and place that we live. Often it comes from what the bodies and appearances of powerful people are.

The take-home from that is that there isn't an intrinsic "best look" for all of us. If it changes frequently throughout cultures and history, it can't be hardwired. And as you have heard here, everyone has their own preference. The preferences of average people aren't going to dictate who gets into a magazine or a movie, but it will affect who they choose as a partner! I'm sure if you look around at partners who are in love, you will see all kinds of body shapes.

And here's the other thing. I really wish I could remember the source so I could share it, but I did read a study done to try to analyze which traits in women have been most consistently desirable throughout history and throughout the world. The number one they found was big hips! (The evolutionary aspect of this obvious, but irrelevant.)

So, you've lucked into likely the number one trait underlying what many men want, (though again, not the few that are involved in our media).

Beyond that, it's personal taste.

Additionally, I think most men are attracted to a woman who knows she's attractive (no matter what her shape is). So if you want to be more attractive to men, I suggest you start working on how you can rock that angle.

Athena
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CO_MOM
I too have small ones, I was always insecure about it in high school. When I started seeing my husband it was a long time before I felt comfortable with him touching them or anything, shoot, I wouldn't even let him take my shirt off during sex the first few times! I am fine with it now, I know he loves them and me just the way I am. Anytime I comment on them being small now, he always tells me "anything more than a mouthful is a waste!"
Any guy that is just after big boobs is not worth it, in my opinion. He should never make you feel down about any part of your body, in fact if he knows your insecure about it he should help you get over it.
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P
Ive had a female colleague who were a similar shape to your description. She was 34B (I was single then and she told me) she had wide hips and like you took a hell of a bashing from others at school etc. But I heard her use a comment one day that make me think it all through. Large hips were child bearing hips (may not be true, Im not a medical person) Smallish boobs droop less than big ones.

Afer move areas to work I bumped in to her one day and wham! there wher the two large boobs looking at me from ger tee shirt top the immeadiate comment was "YES! ALL MINE".. She' had a child, boobs got bigge to do the job they were employed for and went only slightly smaller after she stopped feeding. her main comment as we talk was she still have her small pair back as she found that they didnt weigh as much, didnt get in her way and bras cost a load less.

Guys worry about whats between their legs, ladies about boobs. Accept with gratitude what you have and use fashion to show wat youve got. Having seen many of the girls topless on europena beaches its the ones with B cups that appear to do the showing and the ones being admired.
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diwali123
Your ex is an ass. Plain and simple. Anyone who tries to make you feel less than be abuse of your body is a jerk. I feel like he is a jerk but you are also looking at things the wrong way. You have taken on their adolescent view of women yourself. What do these guys have to offer that makes them so damn special?
I used to work with a lot of local musicians and I would never date one. They are usually arrogant and drama queens, and they get lots of women just because they know how to play three chords and scream while drunk. You know I'm right.
Stop dating musicians.
You will find someone who thinks you are the sexiest woman ever. Don't accept anything less.
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