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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I found this post on reddit. It is a more personal story than the one chapparal posts


You know that uneasy feeling you get when you see that subtle change change in her. She starts spending more time at the gym, doing her makeup or hair a little different, seems a bit happier and she's spending more and more time "out with the girls." That uneasy feeling is me, or someone like me.
Let me preface this by saying I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know it has the potential to tear families apart, break hearts and create scars that will last a lifetime. It hurts me. Every single time I do it, it cuts into me deeper than the last. I'm not proud of it, in fact I hide it from everyone in my life, even my closest friends. Which is why it feels good to write this. That's not to say I don't get anything from it, because I do. But first a little context.
I'm 28, single, live in a major metropolitan city and have a comfortable life. I have great family and friends, and have no problem meeting unattached women.
Three years ago I met a woman, let's call her Melissa, who was at the tail end of a divorce. We met at the gym and despite a bit of an age gap, we hit it off instantly. She was still living with the guy, a cop, who wasn't quite abusive but certainly didn't treat her well.
She was completely upfront about her situation and said she wasn't really interested in meeting anyone. I told her I understood, that's wasn't my angle (truthfully, it wasn't) and that if she ever just wanted to talk and get the perspective of a guy, I'd be happy to listen. She seemed so taken aback that someone wanted to listen, that someone actually cared about how she felt, so grateful for some intimacy even on a platonic level, it just gave me a good feeling to know that maybe I was helping her in some way - at least in my mind.
So over the span of a couple days, coffee and talking turns to drinks and laughing. I don't know her well, but I can already see a change in her. Like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders and maybe she just needs a little fun in her life right now. Drinks turn to poor decision making and as I go to drop her off, the evening ends with Melissa bent over the hood of my car in her garage having the loudest orgasm I've ever heard (she lived in a high rise building with underground parking so husband wasn't likely to stumble on us). After that, our dynamic pretty much turns physical. We **** everywhere. My place sometimes, her place when her husband is at work, the car, the gym, the beach. Frankly it's great. It's hot, is feels a little dirty and forbidden and she ****s like she hasn't gotten off in years - which very well could have been true.
I think that's about where something clicked for me. I wasn't really meeting women that I could see spending any amount of time with, and with Melissa, I was giving her something that made her feel desired, acknowledged and appreciated. The quid-pro-quo here, I got great sex and the feeling that maybe I had helped her out a bit.
Few weeks later, she tells me that she's going to try and work things out with her husband. I tell her I'm happy for her and I hope it works. We hug goodbye and haven't spoke since. In no way am I suggesting that I had anything to do with her and her husband getting back together....just explaining how it tapered off.
Here's where the shameful part begins. Since then, I've actively began seeking out married women. Almost exclusively. I would say at least 50. It's shocking how easy it is. I'm not married, so I don't know much about the intricacies of marital bliss, but I will tell you that there are SO many women out there who are angry, hurt, feel unappreciated and unfulfilled. They're everywhere. I've had relationships with married women that I've met at the grocery store, gym, bookstore, malls, restaurants, coffee shops, ikea, ****ing Home Depot. It is just so easy to spot. The prolonged eye contact, ring check, and bashful smile which is essentially an invitation to come talk to them. So many beautiful women (inside and out) that just get ignored by their husbands. MEN OF REDDIT - you want some insight into why your wife would cheat on you? The number one complaint that I hear as the man lying in bed next to your wife, "He just doesn't listen to me." Women are feeling driven. They need to be show affection, both physical and emotional. Perhaps more than anything, they need to feel loved and desired. That doesn't mean with your ****ing ****, it means picking up on the subtle cues when they're unhappy or having a bad day and giving a ****.
Maybe to a certain extent I am taking advantage of these women or where they are in their life. I used to tell myself that I was balancing it all out by giving them something that they were lacking at home. Whether physical or emotional.
Yesterday afternoon something happened that really stung deep. I know this is getting long so I'll try to wrap it up here quickly.
So one of the women I've been seeing lately, let's call her Jessica, is 36, very pretty and sweet, married mother of 3. We met a couple weeks ago at a bar when she was out with some girlfriends (Husbands of Reddit - another note, "out with girlfriends" is most likely time your wife is going to be talking to a guy like me. Not saying all women are prone to infidelity, but I've met several women in scenarios like this. Girlfriends keep their mouths shut.)
We start talking, hit it off well and within 15 minutes she's telling me how tough things are with her husband. This...right here....those words..."having a tough time with my husband"...spoken to a stranger, it's basically saying "hey, I need a break. need some excitement. I'm open to sleeping with you." So a few drinks, I walk her to her car, we kiss and trade email addresses. (Husbands of Reddit - all indicent communication takes place on Facebook of via email. No phone. Just sayin')
Next day I get an email telling how great it was to meet me and asking if I'd like to come to her yoga studio for a class I accept and class is great. We grab Jamba Juice afterwards......yadda, yadda, yadda....we end up ****ing on the floor on a yoga mat. She's awesome. Again, just one of those women that seems like she hasn't been touched or show attention in years.
So we've been doing this for a couple weeks now. Same routine, I get a free yoga class and get to **** the instructor afterwards. It's actually been great, one of the best relationships like this I've had in a while and we get along so well. No expectations or innuendoes about the future of our relationship, just fun and enjoying each other.
Yesterday, same routine. I go to class, and after class we're fooling around. The studio is essentially a big storefront with a small bathroom in the back and shades covering the windows in the front of the room. We typically just lock the front door and **** on the floor towards the back of the room.
So the door is locked, we're 45 minutes in, she's on top and getting close, I put my hand on the back of her head and pull her face into the nook of my shoulder and we cum together. She pull's her face away from my shoulder, kisses me and says "that was fun."
As she starts to sit up and pull her hair into a pony tail, I literally see the color drain from her face and she immediately starts crying and shaking. I turn my head and there's a guy standing about six feet away from us. It's her husband. He let himself in. I get up real quick, **** still hard and condom filled cum, thinking I'm about to get the **** kicked out of me. The guy is crying. Hard. Not even looking at me, but instead at his wife, naked, kneeling on a yoga mat in the studio he helped build for her.
And this. Right here. Is the absolute lowest moment of my life. I feel like scum. Worse than scum. And I can feel myself start to tear up to thinking about this family that I just rained down disfunction on. The kids. And it's not like it was some ****ing mistake. It was me. I sought this out for my own perverted self gratifying reasons. I couldn't go **** some trixie at a bar, I had to purposely seek out a married woman. A ****ing mother. A now my ****ed up decisions have caused a family to fall apart.
I didn't say a word. Pulled on my shorts, grabbed my clothes and mat and just walked out. They both stayed put and neither looked at me on the way out. The last thing I heard him say was "I don't understand."
So I'm done. I swear. This is my confession and it will serve as a reminder of the pain I've already caused and the potential harm that my own ****ed up behavior can bring not just to one person, but to a whole family.
From the bottom of my heart - to the families that my actions affected. I am so very sorry. I was immature, irresponsible and exploitive. I'm so, so sorry.
 

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:( That broke my heart (the husband part). Of coarse he didn't understand, he was probably a perfectly loving husband, his wife was just looking for that extra attention because she's a f'cking *****.
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Am I naive or is it really that easy? Do you believe this story? Some of it might be true I suppose but it still comes across a little as bragging. A little like the other one that has been posted. It seems a bit penthouse.

I hope some husband catches up with him one day if it is true and punches his smug face in.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
So her husband helps her build a yoga studio, and she thanked him by doing other guys there. I wonder if in today's Beta Nation is this reason enough to drop her immediately. Frankly, he should be grateful to this player for exposing the true nature of his wife.
He did post an update. He contacted the woman after a few days see "if everything is ok". She told him that the husband was also cheating on her. They decided to separate and husband moved in with his gf. She was calling the OM asking if they could date after her divorce. He said he wasn't sure how much of this was true.
 

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Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.
You might be right I don't know.

I told the guy I suspected of being the OM in a suspected affair 20 years ago that if he touched my wife I'd punch his fvcking face in.
I did find out later that there had been no affair but he had been sniffing around. Never saw the twat again.
 

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Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.
Nevertheless he admits that he targetted married women.

That is wrong.
 

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He did post an update. He contacted the woman after a few days see "if everything is ok". She told him that the husband was also cheating on her. They decided to separate and husband moved in with his gf. She was calling the OM asking if they could date after her divorce. He said he wasn't sure how much of this was true.
Oh well, looks like they are both scumbags. I only feel sorry for the kids.

But the woman is delusional. Thinking this player will want a serious relationship after knowing her real character.
 

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Interesting
 

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Here is his other post
Oh boy. This got quite a bit more attention than I anticipated.
Lot of hate. Wasn’t expecting that much to be honest.
It’s pretty obvious there are quite a few people on here who have been affected by infidelity, whether as a partner or as the child of parents in this situation. To all of you I’m sorry if my words hit close to home.
I’ve had some time to step back from the situation and regroup. I’m still terribly embarrassed and ashamed by my actions and for those asking, I am committed to not repeating this type of behavior. It’s not worth the destruction and mayhem it causes.
I do want to respond to a couple accusations / assumptions made about me and my situation before giving am update on what has happened since.
I know that pretty much any response I make to inaccuracies is going to be attributed to trying to explain away my actions. Let me stop you there. It’s not. I know what I did was ****ed up and wrong and I don’t deny that for a second, nor am I trying to paint my anonymous self in a better light. I’m just going to give you some insight into how things really went from my perspective.
Firstly, these women were not some “wounded antelope” that I preyed on, far from it. I’m not attracted to vulnerability or weakness. Quite the opposite actually. The women that I did carry on relationships with were strong, self aware, educated, confident…..just unhappy. I’m not some lion stalking prey on the savannah looking for my next kill. And it wasn’t only about the sex. These women were getting a sense of excitement, a thrill from meeting someone who was genuinely interested in them as a woman. In some cases, something they hadn’t felt in years. I fed off that excitement. It made me feel good that I could help someone who was unhappy feel a little bit of joy and desire. And the unhappiness that comes with a fractured relationship is so deep, people in these situations so hurt and looking for some kind of connection, I just got sucked into trying to help a bit. That’s probably not a healthy motivator either, but nonetheless it wasn’t just about sex, it was also about trying to help. And not to say that I didn’t enjoy the sex, because I did. Different kind of sex. Intense, passionate, appreciative, forbidden. Something that comes along much later in a relationship, something I’m not really interested in at this point in my life.
UPDATE: Yesterday morning I emailed “Jessica,” and basically said I knew it was inappropriate to be contacting her, I wanted to make sure she were okay, how sorry I was and let me know if there was anything I could do.
Ten minutes later, she calls. Something she never did. We talked for a long time. Some intense fighting went on after I left and apparently in the heat of the moment, he let it slip that he had also been ****ing someone in one of his classes at a different studio (he also teaches yoga). She told me that she already knew, but I’m not sure I buy it. After the initial shock and fighting, she said things eventually turned civil and they had a real conversation about their relationship for the first time in years. They were both unhappy. They bolt felt they married too young. The both felt unappreciated, undesired and that they married the wrong person. They agreed they were going to separate. Last night, he packed up and moved into his girlfriend’s house LESS THAN A MILE AWAY.
So I told Jessica, I can’t do this anymore. That I was happy being her friend, being there through this ****, but I couldn’t sleep with her. She asked if I was interested in dating after her divorce was finalized. And here Reddit, is where I took your advice. I thought about it, and I would have dated her after divorce was finalized. But it wouldn’t have been serious for me (I would have been honest about that). And it was NOT about the allure of the taboo being lost, it was about allowing this women a chance to recover from a ****ed up situation that I had helped create. So I told her I didn’t think it was a good idea, and that this was a time in her life where she needed to figure things out for herself. I told her I would be grateful to be a friend and support mechanism, but not her lover.
So I don’t have any illusions that this makes up for the fact that I contributed to breaking up a family. I wouldn’t say it’s a happy ending, just an inevitable ending that my own poor decisions put me in the middle of.
I’m sorry it happened.
I’m sorry for my part in it.
It’s not something I’ll forget or repeat.
 

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Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.
Because being a decent person MATTERS! They are just as culpable once they know the other person is married. They have a choice to walk away as much as the married person does. And if they don't, they are doing as much irreperable damage to the marriage as the husband/wife is.

Whether they have remorse after what they have done is what determines if the OW/OM has ANY redeeming qualities at all. And even then, it is very slight.
 

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Because being a decent person MATTERS! They are just as culpable once they know the other person is married.
I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.

The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X specifically for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse.

The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.
 

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There are a certain class of POSOMs who prey upon unhappy, married women because it's easier for them. They need the advantage of vulnerability. They couldn't attract a single woman of the same calibre because they are difficient.

Same type of mentality that would get a woman drunk to take advantage of her.
 

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I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.

The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X specifically for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse.

The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.
It definitely takes two. So it s a shared responsibility. One couldn't happen without the other. Both lack character.
 

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while I agree to target them is low..... VERY low and speaks to their character.

but there are many advantages to married women.........if they are not targeted, but just part of the mix of a single guys women. I don't see where he is the devil. but don't be stupid and don't mess with their marriage or have feelings for them or do anything close to getting caught. (like banging @ their house or their yoga studio when the H probably has a key!!)
 

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I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.

The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X specifically for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse.

The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.
i tend to agree with this.
i focused my anger for some time on POSOM, because i did not want my wife to be the focus of such intense and unbridled anger. and yes, to a certain degree, hatred.
who wants to hate their spouse? who wants to believe their spouse could care for them so little? not me, and im sure not many others.
so, while i tend to agree with this viewpoint, i will also say that i have enough anger left for POSOM that if he so much as glances at me or makes eye contact with me when i see him, i will push his face in. he knows it, so he doesnt do it. ducks his head like a b**ch and looks down or away. the way it should be. because thats what he is.
 

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I am skeptical of this story.

1) why would someone scream so loud from an orgasm in a parking garage which is a semi-public place? Um, in that situation you are trying to be quiet.

2) they were "into it for 45 minutes" - 45 minutes?? The sex can't be that hot if it takes 45 minutes of screwing and you haven't cum yet

3) okay, mutual orgasms are very rare, and usually it happens when both parties are so worked up they finish quickly. So we're supposed to believe that you've been screwing for 45 minutes with neither person finishing, then all of a sudden you cum together? Give me a break.

4) so the husband apparently was standing in the room WATCHING them continue to have sex? My ass. Any man would have created a freaking carnage at that moment, and not just sat there politely waiting for them to be done.

Bull. Sh!t.
 
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