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Discussion Starter #1
Wife is out and about gone for the day. I am home doing all the cleaning and work around the house that is necessary. As I said, nothing new or shocking there.
 

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Why are you doing all the cleaning? Is your wife working or just having a her day?
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Are you a SAHD?
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o_O have you ever discussed with her that you would like the chores split more evenly?
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OMG... 95%???

and you wonder why nothing changes?

Here you go...

You do 51%

LET HER DO 49% if she gets ANGRY ...thats GOOD!
Gives you a chance to communicate about why your marriage got this way.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Many times, nothing ever really changes. I have gotten used to it, it is just harder some times than others keeping up with everything myself.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Why are you afraid of your own wife?
I'm not, as I said, we have talked about this issue and nothing changes from it. The communication doesn't help on this one.
As for me only doing 51% and making her do 49%, really? How do you make someone do things that they don't want to do?
 

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Exactly. Just pick up after yourself and let her mess pile up. Do your laundry, dishes, ect and let her take care of her own crap.
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I'm not, as I said, we have talked about this issue and nothing changes from it. The communication doesn't help on this one.
As for me only doing 51% and making her do 49%, really? How do you make someone do things that they don't want to do?
Leave them undone..easy. Let her do them or leave them undone.
You need to create conflict to resolve this.

I'd like a slave too.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
This. And do not clean while she's out having fun... go do something fun yourself.
Exactly. Just pick up after yourself and let her mess pile up. Do your laundry, dishes, ect and let her take care of her own crap.
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I have tried those tactics in the past. And I still try them every once in a while. The problem with that is, it doesn't bother her, but it bothers me. I can't stand the mess that piles up and things that are left laying around. For me to be comfortable at home and relaxed, I want clean and organized environment, she can ignore all of that. She has no problem laying on a couch that has her clean clothes piled on it for days while it drives me crazy. I can only go so long leaving her mess laying around until I can't live like that. So I take care of it because that is the only way I can be happy being in my house. The inside work, the outside work, I can get her to help every small once in a while.
 

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I guess you have to decide if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life. Or if you're willing to hire a housekeeper (which sounds CRAZY to me but I hear it recommended here a lot in these kind of threads)

How is your marriage otherwise?
 

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I have tried those tactics in the past. And I still try them every once in a while. The problem with that is, it doesn't bother her, but it bothers me. I can't stand the mess that piles up and things that are left laying around. For me to be comfortable at home and relaxed, I want clean and organized environment, she can ignore all of that. She has no problem laying on a couch that has her clean clothes piled on it for days while it drives me crazy. I can only go so long leaving her mess laying around until I can't live like that. So I take care of it because that is the only way I can be happy being in my house. The inside work, the outside work, I can get her to help every small once in a while.

Let the house go... choose the 51% you really care about.
Let your wife see 'Game over'.

You have to do this for a while until she notices.
 

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Damn, gbrad, where were you when I had to get my apartment straightened up for inspection this week? ;)

JK..well, sort of. Gbrad, have you tried leaving her stuff lying around and then inviting one of HER friends over for dinner with you guys one night? Seriously, try that. Don't warn her ahead of time. Invite a friend of hers...or a couple that you know...to come over for dinner, last minute. But be sure you have the food available already, and cooking. Either she will clean up her stuff, or it will be all over the place, embarrassing her when her friend(s) see the house. Worth a shot since you have tried everything else...
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Let the house go... choose the 51% you really care about.
Let your wife see 'Game over'.

You have to do this for a while until she notices.
I spend a lot more time at home than she does. I wish I could do that, I really do. But, my time at home, is when I am happiest.
The other problem, she wouldn't even know 49% of the things that I do around the house.
What I need is a way to get her to care about helping me. I don't want to hand out any ultimatums, she does not take well to that.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
I guess you have to decide if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life. Or if you're willing to hire a housekeeper (which sounds CRAZY to me but I hear it recommended here a lot in these kind of threads)

How is your marriage otherwise?
How is the marriage otherwise? ha.

Well this is one of the big problems, atleast for me. And it has been, well, the entire time we have been married. It has just gotten worse over the years. She used to do more and help out with certain things more often, but now, no.
And no, I am not willing to hire a housekeeper. We are more than capable of keeping our house clean ourselves. I do a decent job of it myself and if she helped out it would not be hard at all to stay on top of things.
 
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