[Hope4thebest]

This is my first post.. Kind of strange that this is what I would choose to post about but it is an issue I am dealing with and one that I need some help with... Kind of babbly and long but hopefully you will get what I am trying to ask..

Back story... Several years ago I decided to cave to my SO and my children and get a cat.. THe reason I decided on the cat was because I knew I would be doing the bulk of the work.. IE.. Scooping litter box.. etc... Not too long after that she wanted a dog.. Big ado about it because 1.. I didnt want to be the one walking all the time... 2.. they are like kids.. You can't just give them a bunch of food and water and they be ok for a few days..

Alas.. I caved and let her get the dog.. She is ok about walking the dog..

In the meantime we split.. she moved out... Still dated... She gets a cat for her and her kids... We begin to make inroads on getting back together completely and her coming home.. During that time she decides to get another dog.. A few days after having the dog at her house the puppy has to come live with me because her first dog has a litter of puppies and she can't handle it all...

So here is my issue.. She and her kids have recently moved back in.. Yes.. 2 adults, two kids, two cats, and two dogs.. and my 19 yr old how may be moving out soon..

Today she is angry with me because I wont consider getting another dog or cat or both... I am, besides the after school daycare person, the only one who does anything with the litter box.. I walked both dogs in the am for 2 weeks straight and told her the next two weeks were her's.. Starting Sunday... Well.> monday she says to take back whatever I got her for christmas and build her a fence because she doesn't have time to walk the puppy on work days.. Mind you.. I help with the kids in the morning when and where I can.. I dont do it every morning... and I sure dont mind walking the dogs.. But if walking the dogs and not being able to get up early enough to do it on work days, is a problem then is it wrong of me to think that if I build a fence they are just going to get shut out there?? Not mention the fact that no one but the kids really play with the animals..

Am I being selfish??

 

[A Bit Much]

Nope. Not selfish to me. Is she trying to raise a farm or what? And plainly, if she's not going to care for the pets properly then she doesn't need them. Animal control seizes pets for less. It's not fair to the animal to not be properly cared for.

 

[southern wife]

Nope, sounds like you have a house full and plenty of mouths to feed.

 

[Chopsy]

Daily walks are a necessity! I feel for you because I know how much work it takes to look after animals. I have three cats and two dogs. She totally needs to start making an effort or the animal should given to someone who will give the care and attention they need. And maybe she should tell the kids why the dogs have to go. Oh and don't build that fence if the only reason is to shut the dogs out there!

 

[sweaty teddy]

no your letting her walk all over you.

set some boundries and enforce them if she can't deal then you guys wern"t ment to be together.

 

[3Xnocharm]

No you are NOT being selfish at all. Two dogs and two cats is a lot of critters, more than enough, and I am very much an animal person! Does she have other hoarding tendencies??

 

[southern wife]

Does she have other hoarding tendencies??

:iagree:

 

[Hope4thebest]

She doesn't really have hoarding issues.. I actually think that part of this issue stems from the fact that the cat she brought whille were seperated, will not sleep with her since she moved.. I also think there is an issue with the fact that her sister had two german shepards and wanted one of the puppies from her last litter and her BIL caved and let her get the puppy... Speculation on my part.. I could be wrong.. Have been before..

 

[Hope1964]

Tell her that she can have another animal AFTER she has taken sole responsibility for the four you already have for 6 months. If, after 6 months, you have not had to raise a finger whatsoever to feed, walk, litter change, etc them at all, then let her get another one.

 

[A Bit Much]

She sounds like she's spoiled. That's partly your fault... giving in before you have shown her she can pout and manipulate you and get what she wants.

 

[Hope4thebest]

That could be ABM.. But no more animals unless she puts her BGP on and starts taking care of business...

 

[A Bit Much]

Stick to your guns. She'll get over it eventually.

Either she respects you in this and accepts it or she knows where the door is. You have a say here and IMO it's not unreasonable. She's being a brat.

 

[Thundarr]

This sounds like the begginning of an illness. She should deal with the pets she has and raise her kids since they are after all her responsibility.

The unconditional love that pets provide us is addicting but you have enough pets in the house already. Being married to cat lady or dog lady where the pets keep multiplying is a disaster in the making and would be a showstopper for me.

 

[827Aug]

I feel for you and the animals. Are you living in the city? Do you even have the room for multiple animals? Until your SO becomes a responsible pet owner, don't allow anymore animals. When I say responsible, that usually means all animals should be spayed and neutered.

I live on a farm, so I'm used to having many animals. We currently have three cats, one dog, one llama, two geese, and eight horses. I'm definitely a pro animal person, but there is a limit for everyone based on their circumstances. Anything beyond a person's capacity gets into hoarding territory.

 

[Thundarr]

I feel for you and the animals. Are you living in the city? Do you even have the room for multiple animals? Until your SO becomes a responsible pet owner, don't allow anymore animals. When I say responsible, that usually means all animals should be spayed and neutered.

I live on a farm, so I'm used to having many animals. We currently have three cats, one dog, one llama, two geese, and eight horses. I'm definitely a pro animal person, but there is a limit for everyone based on their circumstances. Anything beyond a person's capacity gets into hoarding territory.

I like the way you frame your opinion Aug. For some people the number of animals you have would be crossing into obsession but for others it would not. Really it's the old definition of an addition that applies. When something is getting in the way of living the rest of your life ( which it seems may be the case for OP ) then it's an addiction or obsession. Living on a farm and the diversity of pets and livestock you have seems kind of peaceful actually.

 

[RandomDude]

I'm an animal lover myself, and what Abitmuch and other posters said is correct:

And plainly, if she's not going to care for the pets properly then she doesn't need them. Animal control seizes pets for less. It's not fair to the animal to not be properly cared for.

I've always wanted a husky but I know that I don't have time to RUN with them - they NEED to run around alot, not just be walked. So I don't, if you can't provide for the animal don't have one. Cats are good though, they do their own thing and are much less maintenance, they groom themselves, bury their sh-t, and they look and sound freakin adorable.

The two talking cats - YouTube
Like come on, can anyone say that those cats didn't make you smile and go "awww"? hehe