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I never or rarely get angry, I get angry for other people, causes, that sort of thing. Never my own personal anger. Have just today got my teeth into it a bit.

Powerful stuff. Very strange, but rather empowering. I am worth more than this! I deserve better!

Have you found your anger yet? Any suggestion to access it?
 

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180 is made for that, to help you manage the anger developed from the betrayal , abandonment etc.

Stay on it, read books about it , read here.
Go to the gym.

Don't show anger at any price !
 

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I don't know if I'm angry, sad, resolute...it all merges from one hour to the next.

Its like a symphony of emotions in one day.

i just want to be still for a bit.
 

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My anger found me and almost killed me, it was an inside job. My anger was very much suppressed and it was appropriate anger. After it started coming out it was barely manageable but I did manage it, now I feel anger at the moment it arises and manage it without having to expend so much energy. I trust the mini-anger that lets me know that there's a situation that needs to be managed...I make changes before I have to have the big anger...self-care is very necessary.

I find I can be displeased with injustice but I don't need to take it all on myself. I take care of what's around me and trust that it becomes a part of the bigger picture, ripple effect, 6 degrees of separation, greater consciousness and all that.

I can also verbally express my disappointment and chagrin and even disbelief, when I feel the mini-anger, without kneejerking. It's good to have perspective and not to become part of the problem. Many people who have anger problems and feel out of control will try all kinds of crazy-making behavior to try to project it onto you. My advice, get in a place where you can see this and back away safely.
 

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Homemaker, very valuable advice! I do get resentful and it does build up, much better to deal with these things as they come. Self-care is everything! Thats new to me, i always cared for everyone elsr and not mysrlf so much. Im changing that now! I really appreciate your post, thanks.
 

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I've never been very good at anger either. Like you, I can work it up easily on behalf of friends or injustice in the world, but for myself, very little.

Going through my situation I see it in tiny flashes and then it is replaced by other emotions almost immediately. Last night I tired to let it come out with my STBXW in an attempt at what would have been one of the only fights we've ever had. After 5 mins or so I was left feeling guilty and trying to explain myself.

I Don't think this is healthy, especially in situations where one has the right to be angry. I guess I just don't like feeling like a "bad guy".

This is something I plan to talk about in IC ... Maybe it is something you should seek to address as well.
 
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