Tangled web; what you should know: when you or your spouse take that first step outside of your marriage, in all likelihood your marriage is over. Maybe it already was, and that’s why the first step. Maybe the first step was simply for the excitement of it and to see what would come next. What comes next is not pretty. There are some here who seem to demonstrate the strength and character to save the relationship. I would have thought that we were one of those couples. You should also know that there is a lot of denial in this process. Sheer unwillingness to face, let alone accept, the realities.