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How do I treat a vicious dumper, who is the married cheater?

  • Call his boss and report his behaviour

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Send printouts of his cheating e-mails to me, to his wife

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Go to the Press - he holds a Consular post!!! In MY country!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Get his wife to woman up

    Votes: 0 0.0%
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I honestly think you need to leave the man and his wife alone. The man told you he was "separated"--Not DIVORCED. You have already notified his wife. Anything further would be vindictive and serve no further purpose. Move on and find someone who really is available. Count your blessings that you found out what a lying scumbag this man is in the early stages.
 

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At the very least because of his position, you should contact an attorney, get things put down in writing and have the attorney send him a discrete (but documented) letter requesting no contact. Make sure it is signed for personally by this guy.

Then resume your life and put him out of your mind.

It's called damage control.
Yes, it's an expense, but the next time this guys does this, your name might come up. And if that does happen, you want to be prepared and documented as being way far decisively so out of the loop and scott free and squeaky clean having maturely distanced yourself from this so very attractive train wreck.
 

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I would have told him to call me when he was divorced. Separated couples get back together all the time.

Did you call his wife to be helpful or did you call to be vindictive?
He likely wasn't expecting you to do so, hence the reason for the angry response.

When I was single, many married men tried to come on to me. They used the well known lines: "My wife and I don't have sex. We are only together because of the kids." I politely told them to go work on their marriages. I NEVER called their wives because that would be spiteful.

When I look at your poll, it seems that you are bitter and hell bent on revenge. Leave the man and his family alone and chalk this up to experience. He has clearly asked you not to contact them, so any more actions could be looked at as harassment. I feel for you mama, but you will have to find a way to deal with your feelings alone.
 

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You obviously have not moved on if you're on a website fuming about the fact that you were the OW and now you're p*ssed because he put you in your place and stayed with his wife. He told you, the two of you didn't happen and you are not to contact him. Sorry if that makes you feel like the partyfavor/f**kdoll that you were to him but sounds to me like what's done is done. Stop looking for revenge and get over it. He's scum and his wife obviously is ok with that if she stays so why is it your problem or business to take him down singlehanded?? It isnt your problem anymore...time to go out and find a man who is actually DIVORCED or never married...latch yourself onto him and live happily.

Seriously, the mentality of these single girl mistresses just kills me sometimes. He used you.He didn't love you.Get over it and chalk it up to a learning experience. You're only the dirtball that he's treating you like if you don't learn something from this. Otherwise you're just a girl who got caught in a bunch of lies.

**edit...realized i'm letting my crisis this morning taint my response to you... reading ClipClop's response made me see that. So while what you did with calling his wife for revenge was wrong, you did it because you were hurt. I hope you can heal from this and realize that not all men will do what this idiot did. I am also sorry that you got hurt.***
 

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How old are you? You said he was 55. Just curious.
 

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Single... my advice is to move on.
Block his # so he can't initiate any contact with you wahtsoever and stay far away from him.
In the future, when a man says he's separated, don't date him. Separated is still married.
You said he has 3 other lovers outside of his marriage and there was also you, therefore you should not be surprised at his ways.
Moving forward, only stick to single guys.

I didn't vote on your poll cause I don't agree with any of those options. You already told his wife so you exposed his cheating. If I were to vote, I'd vote for an option that says "Move on and never speak to that fool again."



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"separated", by definition, means "married". From jump street, you knew he was cheating on at least one person (his wife). If you want the loyalty of a one-woman man, I suggest you start with an unattached one.
 

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You said he told you he was separated. Separated is NOT single.
Thank you.

If you think you weren't a mistress you are sadly mistaken or in a deep pit of denial.

And I don't need to "chill"...I wasn't the one coming on a website for married people asking how to ruin the life of a man and his family just bc he dumped me.
 

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Your thread title is:

Am the single girl - lied to, used by a married man and then dumped

@WhiteRabbit - for the record, I am no single girl mistress. Do not judge an internet poster: I have never been a 'mistress'
Actually, you were a married man's mistress.

He presented himself to me as SINGLE
No he didn't. He told you straight up he was separated.

And this:

I then ask HIM. His exact reply: " I'm separated"
Doesn't match this:

had no idea that he was a "separated in his mind only" kind of fella)
Or this:

i.e. he presented himself to me as single and available.
And this:

and were seen as a couple BEFORE I KNEW HE WAS STAYING MARRIED.
..."Staying married" means "already married" hence, NOT single.

Again, Single... nobody here is hating on you but in the future, stick to SINGLE men. Affairs always create a mess. As you clearly learned.

Move on with your life. He's not worth your time.



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