Can you break a pattern that your spouse keeps doing? If I try to talk to mine about something bothering me he gets defensive and gets mad and ends up saying hurtful things to me. Then the next day even tho he didn't apologize but he'll show affection to me that's out of character, like more than usual. And I'll end up reciprocating it, it'll be good for awhile then it happens again. We've had serious talks about this 2 months ago and he said he would try harder. It was the best talk we've ever had and laid all our concerns to each other. So I thought that this time it was gonna stick. But he acted awful last night toward me, long story.. today hes showering me with affection again but in my mind I'm struggling. He told me 3 times today he loves me, I never said it back, I'm still hurt. I've decided I'm going to focus on myself now, and I'm done chasing him, it's time he chases me. That's how I feel, not sure if it's right tho.