[Hurtgirlfriend]

I have been with this man for 24 years and we have a adult son together. My boyfriend who started talking to another women online he says they are just friends. That he was talking to her because is is in a abusive marriage. I was ok with that until I walk in the room and he hides his chats with her from me. He said it is her private life stuff and none of my business. I feel if he has to hide a conversation with another women from me that he shouldn't be talking to her. This went on for a year they would chat on yahoo messenger . I would tell him how much it hurt me that they would talk for 6 to 8 hours every night and not spending time with me. her and he wouldn't . I sent her a message about how she is tearing up out relationship. Here is some things she said to me copied from her message.

1. i haven't told him to change...he spends a lot more time online for it nly to be with me.

2. we talk about music, life singing..Contests that's it...I'm not gonna run away with him...nor do i wanna break you two up.

3. him and i are close friends




My feelings but not sure I'm right

I am so confused is he talking to her about her marriage or what she said they talk about?

I think if her husband was abusive to her and she said he don't work he would know she was chatting online with him and not aloud it to happen.

I don't see any husband letting his wife talk to another man online all night in private and not get mad or stop her or leave.

She always uses fake names online but I have pics of her she has posted to other sites of her. I want so bad to know her real name.

I hope someone has some advice that will help me know if I'm crazy or if I am right about this .

 

[Hurtgirlfriend]

Locke.Stratos, cdbaker, TRy, Thank You so much for you input on my nightmare. I did get a lot of good advice from each of you and thank you for taking the time to help me with this.You gave me so much to think about Thank You.

I have put in 24 years of my life with him and I love him more then I could ever say. I just want him to see I am the one who has been their for him through thick and thin. I just want him to love me and want to be with only me. It is hard to just walk out the door when you have been with someone that long. I am glad I'm not loosing my mind and it isn't my imagination. Contact her husband I wish I could so he could see what she is doing but myself I don't think she has a husband if she did no way she could spend 8 hours a night online with my boyfriend. I think she says she's married to get married men to think its ok to talk to her. I don't know her name do I have no way to find her husband. She has pics of herself on 3 websites under fake names. I have tried and no luck.


couples counseling does sound like a good idea if he can't go to it with me if he doesn't go I need to let him go and make myself happy. I don't want to give up if their is any hope because we have a son. Even if he is older it would still hurt him. After reading the comments here I know I need to step up and make him talk to me about this and if he won't I need to make myself move on. Again Thanks for the help.

 

[Hurtgirlfriend]

Hurtgirlfriend,

If he is hiding his chats, they are talking about more than the things she said.

What I did in a similar situation was to install a keylogger on his computer without him knowing. I found out what they were really talking about.

You said that if she is married, how could she spend 8 hours a night online with your bf. Well how is it that you boyfriend and spend that much time online with her? She's living with you and he does it. It seems like being in a committed relationship does not mean much to either of them. Nor does it stop their hours at a time chatting.

If she has multiple accounts under fake names, she could be con artist. Has she asked your husband for any money? Has he sent her any money?

You need to find out what's going on. This is your life. He is taking your right to make your own decisions away from you. He is lying up a storm. No man spends hours a day with a woman that he's not in love with or not trying to get sex from.

Install a keylogger would not work he is a computer programmer and would find it on his computer. I know I should have been so dumb and not see what they were doing. At the time I had my own problems going through side affects I had from having cancer. I still battle daily with side affects from radiation and chemo. Guess I should have opened my eyes.She has never ask for money that I know of . My boyfriend has never seen her other accounts Or the pics of her. I found. I know for a fact she looks different then he is thinking she looks like. she wants to move to the US she lives in Belgium Is what I was told by someone who had similar problems with her.

 

[Hurtgirlfriend]

You can see her phone number from the texts, can't you? Hire a service to tell you her name and address. Then expose her.

They only use Yahoo Messenger to talk. I canceled home phone and all we have is my cell we share.

 

[Hurtgirlfriend]

There are many reasons why I don't like it

I don't know her computer and web skills. For me? I'd just create a temp web page using a free service like WIX or one of many others like that and keep it up long enough to inform. Then take it down.

I am not that good with computer or web skills but learning more and more. This mess made me start learning. You said WIX that is one of the places I found her pic.

 

[Hurtgirlfriend]

I agree with elegirl. She does sound like a con artist. Fake names with her pics on three different websites? Are these dating websites? She's playing him like a fiddle. Protect yourself and make sure your finances are separate. How did he meet her? What does your son think of all this?

She has two accounts on Paltalk, one on WIX, She has account on games called Second life and account on Sing Snap. So far these are the only ones I found.

 

[Hurtgirlfriend]

Utilize Facebook as some people like to use their screen names for games as well as nick names on FB. Also, see if she is in a group or gaming clan. Some people with little imagination will use their REAL names with a number denotation afterwards. It is tough but you can use this to check people friends and between pictures and stuff find who you are looking for. Also, copy and paste exactly her screen names and search in Google with and without quotations, the with part will narrow the search.

One more thing, Myspace still exists. Try looking their as well.

Thank you for your help I will be looking into all of them for more info. You are a big help.