[Locke.Stratos]

No you're not wrong about your feelings regarding your boyfriend and his 'just friend'. In fact your feelings on the matter, though spot on, are a little tame. Most reasonable people wouldn't have put up with that nonsense for as long as you have, but take comfort in knowing that you're right about your feelings and don't let anyone make you think or feel otherwise.

There are people, men and women, who get off on taking someone's girlfriend /boyfriend. This woman seems the type, the more it upsets you the better she feels. Maybe it's an ego thing or it gives them a sense of self worth to be picked over someone, I don't know. I can't relate to that type of crazy. She's not the issue though your boyfriend is, he doesn't care about you or your feelings.

Your boyfriend is an a**hole by the way. This has been going on for a year. That's more than enough time for him to have realized what this has done to you and to consider your feelings and put you first and definitely enough suffering that you have endured.

You have said three very important words, 'boyfriend' and 'adult son'. You're not married and you're not raising children together. Do yourself a favour and walk away or kick him out. You deserve to be with someone who respects you.

My friend's ex boyfriend had a 'just a friend' and it tore her up because he behaved the same way your boyfriend is. She put up with it for a few months then moved on, one of the best things that she did for herself.

You're better off ending the relationship and moving on. All you're teaching him by still putting up with this blatant disrespect is that he can treat you like s*** and you'll still hang around. He has no reason to change or improve.

There's no quicker way that'll get your manchild boyfriend's attention than him realizing that you won't always be there to put up with his s***, but don't move on for the sake of making him want you back but actually do it to pursue your own happiness.

Howoever you're able to get him out of your life, do it and don't communicate with him. Focus on healing yourself and you're own self improvement. Start exercising, socializing with your friends and family and meet new people. Try something that you've always wanted to do and have fun.

Most of all, focus and take care of yourself and have fun.

 

[Locke.Stratos]

Locke.Stratos, cdbaker, TRy, Thank You so much for you input on my nightmare. I did get a lot of good advice from each of you and thank you for taking the time to help me with this.You gave me so much to think about Thank You.

I have put in 24 years of my life with him and I love him more then I could ever say. I just want him to see I am the one who has been their for him through thick and thin. I just want him to love me and want to be with only me. It is hard to just walk out the door when you have been with someone that long. I am glad I'm not loosing my mind and it isn't my imagination. Contact her husband I wish I could so he could see what she is doing but myself I don't think she has a husband if she did no way she could spend 8 hours a night online with my boyfriend. I think she says she's married to get married men to think its ok to talk to her. I don't know her name do I have no way to find her husband. She has pics of herself on 3 websites under fake names. I have tried and no luck.


couples counseling does sound like a good idea if he can't go to it with me if he doesn't go I need to let him go and make myself happy. I don't want to give up if their is any hope because we have a son. Even if he is older it would still hurt him. After reading the comments here I know I need to step up and make him talk to me about this and if he won't I need to make myself move on. Again Thanks for the help.

There is no need to rush yourself to a decision. Take your time in whatever you choose. However this plays out make sure that regardless of whether you stay with your boyfriend or not you will be alright either way. Your happiness and sense of worth shouldn't be determined by another person but should come from within.

I wouldn't concern myself with the other woman, it takes focus away from the person who is actually causing you hurt. You'll only end up making yourself unhappy and anxious if you concern yourself with her. If he respescted and treated you well this other woman wouldn't be an issue. You cannot make someone talk to you or control how they behave.

I have put in 24 years of my life with him and I love him more then I could ever say. I just want him to see I am the one who has been their for him through thick and thin. I just want him to love me and want to be with only me

This should go both ways, can you say same about him about yourself? Make sure you put your mental and emotional well being first.