Ok, so my wife and I have been together for over 10 years. Married for 6. 2 kids.
We already have trust issues from various little things here and their. Lots of little lies, usually about insignificant things.
One big thing was about 4 years ago, I found out she was staying up at night and playing Scrabble on MySpace and chatting with an old friend from High School. Apparently they started with dirty chatting and even exchanged explicit photos of eachother... I confronted her and she seemed pretty mortified and apologized for days. I guess she told the guy I found out and he killed himself.
She pretty much stopped trying to "make it up to me" at that point... and I guess I just forgave her because of the situation and as far as I know, nothing physical happened.
Anyways, so we have trust issues.
Recently I found out that she got pregnant several times in High School. Miscarried twice and had an abortion.
Also she'd had a relationship (sex) with several of her friends, that we used to hang out together with (when we first started dating) even though she said she'd never been with any of her friends.
Also that she told me she'd never gone down on a guy before me or had done anal with anyone before me, all lies.
I guess I can understand about that last one.. I mean, it's not like OMG, but when added with everything else it's just a little on the top.
Am I allowed to be upset about stuff that happened before we got married? Started dating?
I guess the pregnancy stuff upsets me more than anything because we have kids and she never mentioned anything about being pregnant before.
And god do I feel stupid about her friends... I mean we all hung out together and I'm thinking these are some cool guys, whatever. They all used to hang out without me. Now who know what to think about anything that might have been happening. They're all thinking "Yeah I banged your girlfriend, but hey want another beer buddy!".......
I haven't said anything to her because we argue enough as it is and I think if her reaction is something I don't agree with, it would push me over the edge. I would hate to end our marriage and submit our kids to that life if I was just overreacting.
I would appreciate any of your feedback.
Thanks.
We already have trust issues from various little things here and their. Lots of little lies, usually about insignificant things.
One big thing was about 4 years ago, I found out she was staying up at night and playing Scrabble on MySpace and chatting with an old friend from High School. Apparently they started with dirty chatting and even exchanged explicit photos of eachother... I confronted her and she seemed pretty mortified and apologized for days. I guess she told the guy I found out and he killed himself.
She pretty much stopped trying to "make it up to me" at that point... and I guess I just forgave her because of the situation and as far as I know, nothing physical happened.
Anyways, so we have trust issues.
Recently I found out that she got pregnant several times in High School. Miscarried twice and had an abortion.
Also she'd had a relationship (sex) with several of her friends, that we used to hang out together with (when we first started dating) even though she said she'd never been with any of her friends.
Also that she told me she'd never gone down on a guy before me or had done anal with anyone before me, all lies.
I guess I can understand about that last one.. I mean, it's not like OMG, but when added with everything else it's just a little on the top.
Am I allowed to be upset about stuff that happened before we got married? Started dating?
I guess the pregnancy stuff upsets me more than anything because we have kids and she never mentioned anything about being pregnant before.
And god do I feel stupid about her friends... I mean we all hung out together and I'm thinking these are some cool guys, whatever. They all used to hang out without me. Now who know what to think about anything that might have been happening. They're all thinking "Yeah I banged your girlfriend, but hey want another beer buddy!".......
I haven't said anything to her because we argue enough as it is and I think if her reaction is something I don't agree with, it would push me over the edge. I would hate to end our marriage and submit our kids to that life if I was just overreacting.
I would appreciate any of your feedback.
Thanks.