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So my partner and I have been together 6 years, we moved pretty quickly and moved in with each other after only 2 months of dating I feel as things have always been rocky between us our communication being the biggest issue, our talks always ends in yelling, blaming and pointing fingers on both our parts. We split up a couple months ago and I moved out. We took some time and had our best communication we've ever had We talked about our issues and expectations from each other, what we need to work on and it's been better between us since. There are just a few issues I can't get him to understand. The main thing we fought about before we split up was me feeling like I was always alone in the relationship because we wouldn't talk, he would always go hangout with his friends on thursday nights because he doesnt work fridays and be out anywhere from midnight and 4am mind you we spend most weekends with our friends so I didn't understand why he couldn't just stay home during the week. I'm 28 and he's 33 so I'm over going out all night especially on weekdays. So when we got back together that was a main thing we discussed not happening. So he was out all night a couple weekends ago when I had to go home with a migraine and that upset me but we talked about it and he said he was in the wrong and we moved on. Last night football started, so he felt he had to go to a friend's house to watch the game. He was gone before I got home from work at 430, he said he planned on watching the game at said friends and I could come if I wanted. I did not want to because I enjoy being home and didn't want to sit in a shed with a bunch of testosterone. I was a little angry he said he was gonna be there the whole game but I think that's only because I know how it's gone in the past. I won't see him until 2am. So I said how I felt about it and I just decided not to talk about it over text. Well I wake up at midnight and he's still not home so I texted him and let him know I was upset he wasn't home yet and I thought we were adults who can go watch a game then come straight home not stay out later than needed especially when I'm at home waiting for him. So today is a big fight because he doesn't think he did anything wrong and he thinks I'm being hormonal because I'm upset about it. I am hormonal because it's my time of the month but I feel like my feelings are being pushed to the side and that's what is upsetting me most. Not that he was out later than I wanted but that he doesn't care enough how I feel to at least try to see it from my point of view. I'm made out to be like I'm overreacting. I get football, I'm a huge football girl but I also think at 33 we should come home right after the game to your family. Am I being hormonal? Or is it justified? I just don't know what else to do so this situation doesn't keep happening like it did before.
I know it's long, it was a needed rant I guess because I already feel better lol
Thank you.
 

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I am here to tell you only one thing:
This man is not going to change.
If you are willing to sacrifice your desires of life and stay in the relationship, so be it, but I don't recommend you do this.
Ditch this turkey and find a man who cares about you and what you want from life, Clue: this gfuy only cares about himself.
 

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Different strokes. You don't like to go out on weeknights. He wants to spend Thursdays with his friends. Neither of you are wrong in your preferences but both of you are wrong to try to force your partner to see it your way & live accordingly.

You need to see this as a take it or leave it proposition & stop thinking change is an option. Can you live the rest of your relationship with him going out Thursdays? If yes, hush. If not break up.
 

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Come home straight after the game to "your family"? Do you have kids? I didn't see any mention of them.

If he isn't impacting work and he's out of the house already watching a football game, and you are sleeping anyway, why does he need to come immediately home??

Did you really speak to him that way, the bit about you thought you were adults who can watch a game and come straight home?

I bet he's feeling like he's on a leash the way this is being handled by you.
 

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You two are at different maturity levels and have different idea about what adult life should look like.

I’ve been him before and my then-wife was a thorn in my side wanting me to be the responsible adult all the time.

Word to the wise… drop him and move on.

You’re not married and no kids…ditch him.
 

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You two are at different maturity levels and have different idea about what adult life should look like.

I’ve been him before and my then-wife was a thorn in my side wanting me to be the responsible adult all the time.

Word to the wise… drop him and move on.

You’re not married and no kids…ditch him.
Why can't a "responsible adult" with no kids continue hanging with the guys after a football game? If it doesn't affect his work?

Oh wait, he can. And still be a responsible adult. Just one who likes to hang with the guys and not come home directly after watching a game.
 

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You are overreacting. Grown up doesn’t have mean no more fun. If you’re not concerned about cheating then IMHO you need to calm down and let him enjoy his life. You’re married, but you’re still two separate people. It’s ok to have your own stuff.
 

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Why can't a "responsible adult" with no kids continue hanging with the guys after a football game? If it doesn't affect his work?

Oh wait, he can. And still be a responsible adult. Just one who likes to hang with the guys and not come home directly after watching a game.
The problem is that her definition and expectation of ‘responsible adult’ does not match his.

Both of them can behave however they want and I see no bad behavior here.

I do see incompatibility unless they resolve that expectation gap.
 

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You are overreacting. Grown up doesn’t have mean no more fun. If you’re not concerned about cheating then IMHO you need to calm down and let him enjoy his life. You’re married, but you’re still two separate people. It’s ok to have your own stuff.
Unless I missed it in the OP, they aren’t married. If they are then that changes thing a lot in my opinion.

But if it’s bf/gf then find someone else to hang with that is more compatible.
 

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Unless I missed it in the OP, they aren’t married. If they are then that changes thing a lot in my opinion.

But if it’s bf/gf then find someone else to hang with that is more compatible.
You’re right, I missed that. Yeah, no commitment, no need to fight over little things. Find another homebody to be with so you can go home early together. Nothing wrong with staying out, nothing wrong with going home, just find someone else who likes what you like.
 

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I would tell you that you can keep your leash to yourself and then show you to the door. If you think putting a cage around him is a way to improve your relationship then ……
Agreed.

If I were that guy and OP used that phrase that he "should be coming home to his family"..... on me, to unmarried man, with no children, I would be rolling my eyes so far back into my head they would get stuck. And I'd be thinking God help me if I ever made a permanent commitment to this person.
 

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You will destroy your relationship If you continue to insist that he cannot have some time to hang out with his friends. There is nothing wrong with him going to a friend's to watch sports. If he is where he says he is going to be, and not trying to hide anything, what's the problem? He's allowed to have friends. Being married. Or in a long term relationship, does not entitle you to every minute of his free time, nor him to yours.

Instead of controlling him learn how to compromise with him. If you keep controlling him it's only a matter of time before he gets fed up, and one night a week turns into being gone every chance he gets. He will resent you for treating him like a child with a curfew.
 

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What’s the big deal of him being with his friends one night a week or watching a game once a week?

Sounds like you worked on communication, needs more work I think.

If you want a home body, I suggest you break up and find a dog to follow you around.
 

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The main thing we fought about before we split up was me feeling like I was always alone in the relationship because we wouldn't talk,
Sone of you are for some reason concentrating on the game night, and taking it like if they're just boyfriend/girlfriend.

They have been living together for 6 years, so this is not just a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. I just can't understand why the "marriage" label must apply to some people in order for them to consider it a real relationship.

Their problems are more than him going out for an old nighter. They have discussed what they want out of the relationship, they even split up and got back together and she made her requests for the relationship to continue.

I see her point of view. But the thing is that they are at a different stage and it looks like they are not compatible. He's not going to change. My opinion they should split and find a more suitable partner.
 

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It doesn’t sound like you’re compatible. That’s what dating is about - exploring relationships but it sounds like in just a short amount of time, you’re constantly frustrated with him. And he doesn’t sound like he’s doing anything “wrong” per se, it’s just something you’re not happy about. He doesn’t sound like he’s going to change and maybe it’s just time to move on to find a more compatible partner. For him, too.
 
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