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All day I've been mulling over whether or not I wanted to post it. Most are going to flame me.
Nah man. You did good.

Heve you considered changing your phone number(s)? No reason you couldn’t give your new number to the kid with instructions that he not share it.
 

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Good job helping with the boy. Sara is an idiot and continues to be an idiot.
Did the boy say why he ran away? I hope you had a few minutes to have a lasting positive impact on his mindset.

Sounds like you all aren’t far from my area. Sara better become a better parent - the area is full of trouble young kids can find.
 

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You did a good thing. But it’s obviously better for you to stay away from that situation. She’ll probably show up again now so be prepared.
 

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Seriously dude, you were the hero who rode in to find the kid and save the day...
Then to drop him off and go about your day was perfect...I hope that you had on a white stetson to tip to the crowd. Her family and friends were probably asking who was the guy who found the kid, why that was Sarah's ex...And she dumped him for the ex husband ...hmmm.
 

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Knowing that he could have used his phone to call an Uber to take him home, I'm guessing that you had to talk him into going home.

Seeing how Sarah turned this little do-si-do into an all out ballroom extravaganza tells you that she thrives on drama. You are much, much better off without her. I feel sorry for the kids.

I applaud you for just dropping the kid off and not getting involved.
 

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Well done. I know this stirred up a lot of feelings. But know we think you are doing well and are pretty much a badass when it comes to handling things with your ex.

Hoping you have some good people IRL to hang out with this weekend.

How have things been on the dating front? Or are you not ready for that yet? Anyway, please know we all think you did great.

Did the young man share what he was struggling with? He’s lucky to have you…
 

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Thank you for helping the kid! You might not realize it, but you saved his life! Who knows where the kid could have ended up without your help!

The kid knows it in his gut who he can trust.

Did he say why he ran away?
 

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That sucks for all involved. You did the right thing. There is no way you ignore this and be a robot.

Don't even give this a second thought.
 

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Art, there is no way on earth that I could flame you or disrespect you in any way. Out of everyone, you were level headed, forgot all about the hurt his mom laid on you, went out and did the MAN thing. She now sees what she threw away. One good strong man, to be replaced by a toddler who needs his diaper changed regularly. She probably went back because of habit. I have known several divorced women who screwed themselves out of a decent life because they could not drop the ex like a bad habit. Best friend was on the verge of marrying a woman who had escaped a horrible marriage. As soon as they got serious, the XH conveniently dropped out of the sky with another of his myriad problems. My BF, like you Arthur, dropped her and moved on. She made a very wrong decision in going back to her ex, as he had developed a new set of problems, one of them being violence. First time his ex called him to tell him that her XH had beaten her, he said that maybe you should not go back to the scene of the crime, and maybe you should recognize who is toxic in your life and who isn't, in any event, I am no longer interested in being your knight in shining armor, you gave up any rights to that when you threw me over for your assailant. He received occasional calls for about a decade, whic here ignored. They stopped and started periodically.

One further thought, when you made your hasty exit, I bet someone walked up to Sarah, smacked her arm and said, "Do you see what the hell you threw away?" That is why your phone is blowing up with calls from unrecognized numbers, my bet is that she got the severe wakeup. Yeah her XH stood there like a bump on a log, while ArthurGPym fixed the situation. She is welcome to the wimp, but bet nobody likes him or wants him to be with her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #636 ·
Nah man. You did good.

Heve you considered changing your phone number(s)? No reason you couldn’t give your new number to the kid with instructions that he not share it.
To change my phone numbers would mess me up in so many ways. I'm a day trader and I have several brokers who I call regularly, and then I have my friends and relatives. It's sounds like a great idea but it would just cause too many headaches. Sarah has been good about not not calling me. It was one of her friends who called me because she knew the boy trusts me.

Good job helping with the boy. Sara is an idiot and continues to be an idiot.
Did the boy say why he ran away? I hope you had a few minutes to have a lasting positive impact on his mindset.

Sounds like you all aren’t far from my area. Sara better become a better parent - the area is full of trouble young kids can find.
He and his dad got in a big fight. They simply do not like each other. It is a mutual dislike. I have no doubt his dad loves him but they lost their ability to communicate. The boy told me his mom and dad are back to fighting like the old days and that nothing really changed. They were nice to each other for a while but went back to the way they had been pre-affair.

Now just back gracefully away. And stay away.
You are right to ignore.
I am.

You did a good thing. But it’s obviously better for you to stay away from that situation. She’ll probably show up again now so be prepared.
No I doubt it. She won't come around. She tried that once while I was gone and that didn't work. She has too much pride to do it again.

Knowing that he could have used his phone to call an Uber to take him home, I'm guessing that you had to talk him into going home.
For the most part. I had to talk to him for a while to get him to calm down. He tried to spend the night at his friend's house but his mom wouldn't let him. She didn't want any trouble. So I was able to make him see reason and he finally told me where he was.

Well done. I know this stirred up a lot of feelings. But know we think you are doing well and are pretty much a badass when it comes to handling things with your ex.

Hoping you have some good people IRL to hang out with this weekend.

How have things been on the dating front? Or are you not ready for that yet? Anyway, please know we all think you did great.

Did the young man share what he was struggling with? He’s lucky to have you…
Yeah we had a good long talk.

No I'm not dating.
 

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I said it before, Arthur. You should call this boy on his 18th birthday. Be friends with him.


This boy is gonna be your legacy. I fully understand your explanation of how you want to live your life right now. I get it. I don't knock it. There are just so many damn crap parents out there reproducing and replacing themselves with more horrible people. You have an opportunity here to mentor this boy. He trusts you with his life. This is especially huge as our society looks down upon fathers and the number of good men left continues to dwindle. You can change that for this kid. I mean, you already have. You know this kid wants to be a part of your life.

I don't know. Just something to think about.
 

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Discussion Starter · #639 ·
Sarah likely already realizes what an enormous mistake going back to her exH was.

But you've sent very clear signals that she is not welcome back in your life, so she's stuck.

This incident just made her even more regretful and she's probably MISERABLE
Meh. I don't know. She's a very attractive woman. Even if she and her ex do break up, she won't stay single for long. She's a master of that female art of maximizing her resources. I have no doubt she will latch on to a new man quickly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #640 ·
I said it before, Arthur. You should call this boy on his 18th birthday. Be friends with him.


This boy is gonna be your legacy. I fully understand your explanation of how you want to live your life right now. I get it. I don't knock it. There are just so many damn crap parents out there reproducing and replacing themselves with more horrible people. You have an opportunity here to mentor this boy. He trusts you with his life. This is especially huge as our society looks down upon fathers and the number of good men left continues to dwindle. You can change that for this kid. I mean, you already have. You know this kid wants to be a part of your life.

I don't know. Just something to think about.
I'd love to be his big brother. There is no way to do it unless I do it clandestinely. I already know his dad resents the hell out of me, and that in turn causes more friction between the ex and Sarah. So for now, any influence I have on that kid is going to just make his home life more of a hell to him. I texted him this morning to see if he was okay and he said he is. His dad is staying at his own place this week instead of Sarah's, so they can both cool down. But the boy resented his dad before his parents split up the first time and that resentment has only grown.
 
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