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Something interesting happened over the weekend. I got a call from a female friend of Sarah's (I'll call her Barb). Barb called me out of the blue Saturday night asking what the hell was going on, and that she had seen Sarah and her ex-husband together at the local grocery store. Apparently she has been out of town for the last three weeks and just got back Friday. During the time I was with Sarah, I got to be really good friends with Barb and her husband. So I filled Barb in on what I knew and what happened between me and Sarah and she got seriously pissed. I could hear her boiling on the phone, and she called Sarah some pretty choice names. Barb told me that the next time she saw Sarah she was going to give her a piece of her mind. She does not like Sarah's ex at all, and she told me that I was the best thing that happened to Sarah and that she couldn't believe that she would dump me to go back to her ex. I told her I couldn't explain it either. LOL. Anyways, she invited me to her house this coming weekend to watch the playoffs with her and her husband, so I think I will go. It's better than staying home and stewing.
I don't believe this Barb, she should ask Sarah instead of you if she is friend of her, who knows if Barb fabricated grocery story out of jealousy that Sarah dating you. I saw this kind of 'friend' before.
 

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It's not a party. I'm just going over to their house for dinner and to watch the game with them. They live about halfway between me and Sarah so it is no big deal traveling there. Barb is a good lady and she didn't want me spending the playoffs alone. Actually, I had originally planned to go watch the playoffs at a sports bar where many of my local friends go, so I wasn't going to be alone anyways.
I just hope it's not one of those "Hey, look who just stopped by to say Hello" type of things. Sounds like Barb would NOT do that since she was so angry about what Sarah did.
 

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I get the sense (only from your post Art) that she was given one story by Sarah and her spidey sense went off and she decided to call you directly because she knew something did not ad up...now whether barb is the Mrs. Kravitz of the neighborhood and is nosy to find the truth or she genuinely is angry (think the latter), i honestly think that you do go and show your face in this way you have nothing to hide and you did nothing wrong....the shame is all on her. And if by chance you see Sarah, be cordial but be cold. But one thing about weasels they tend to stay in the shadows, or dark for they know they did something wrong. Sometimes the best way to make a weasel feel uncomfortable is to show up in their comfort zone.
 

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I was thinking that Sarah was just being a shoulder to lean on for her EX, but you had a much better view on the whole thing.
Barb is probably genuinely pissed at her friend Sarah and knows that you're the good guy in this situation.
Go and enjoy the playoffs, and I bet sometime soon Barb will try to fix you up with one of her friends while sarah goes down the same path with her ex that made him her ex.
 

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UPDATE: The guitar and amp were ordered and should arrive to Sarah's oldest son next week. I just texted him to let him know. It is going to be interesting to see if it causes a kerfuffle.
I think it speaks volumes about your character that you have not held her actions against her son. It sounds like a real friendship and bond happened there. It really sucks that mom had to screw it up. I don't think she fully appreciates what she has lost.
 

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Discussion Starter · #193 ·
I think it speaks volumes about your character that you have not held her actions against her son. It sounds like a real friendship and bond happened there. It really sucks that mom had to screw it up. I don't think she fully appreciates what she has lost.
I'm just keeping my word. I want to show him that I will always keep my word with him. He didn't trust me when I first started dating his mom. He actively disliked me and wanted nothing to do with me. But he loves music and when he found out that I am a musician and I play guitar it broke the ice and we were able to bond over that common interest. He worked hard and made great strides in his playing, and I so I told him I would buy him an electric guitar and amp if he learned all his bar chord shapes and intervals. He did and I am following through. So the musical bond we have as friends is something I would never just toss away. I told him if his mom or dad give him any grief about the guitar then they should call me.
 

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Good for you that you kept your word and bought her son a guitar and amp. I don't know the age of the son, but if he is living at home with mom and dad, I advise you to stay away from that dynamic. Your last sentence inviting his mother or father to call you if they have a problem with the gift is troublesome. You need to totally disconnect from these people. I know you have blocked her in the past, but I get the impression that you would now like to talk to Sarah. At least that is what I glean from the last sentence of your recent post. It is a natural desire and I certainly am not criticizing you. But, beware of holding on to your past relationship with her.

You are rightfully angry and hurt. I don't think you will hold to your one-year moratorium on dating, nor should you. Continue your disengagement. Maintaining a friendship with her children is not a good idea unless they are on their own. Even that situation can bring about undesirable consequences. But beware of maintaining too many connections with Sarah, whether it be through her friends or family. It will make moving on harder to do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #195 ·
You make it sound like I am manipulating him and using him to get back in touch with Sarah. I most certainly am not. I simply do not want his dad or mom getting pissed off when they see the gift is from me. I told him how to answer them when they ask him about it, and if they try to make him give it back then he can call me, or they can. I have no issue telling Sarah that this has nothing to do with her me or her ex-husband, and that I am only following through with a promise I made to her son. This kid has been jerked around so much the past few years, he doesn't need another adult jerking him around. Also. I fully expect as time goes on the boy (15) will get lost in the maze of high school friends and events, and I will be forgotten. That is normal. I will be here for him but I will not call him.
 

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You honored your word to the boy, as you should have. That is commendable.

How old is he?

ETA: Replied before seeing your last post — he’s 15.
 

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I am not accusing you of manipulating the boy. That is a rather harsh conclusion. If I thought you were doing that, I would have said it. What you are doing is keeping the door ajar for some type of interaction with Sarah. That is normal and I certainly don't criticize you for those thoughts or actions when everything is still so fresh. But if you want to talk to Sarah, call her. You're entitled to some answers. Then move on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #198 ·
I am not accusing you of manipulating the boy. That is a rather harsh conclusion. If I thought you were doing that, I would have said it. What you are doing is keeping the door ajar for some type of interaction with Sarah. That is normal and I certainly don't criticize you for those thoughts or actions when everything is still so fresh. But if you want to talk to Sarah, call her. You're entitled to some answers. Then move on.
I apologize for misconstruing your intent.

I do not have any intention of contacting Sarah directly again nor do I want to get back with her. No excuse she could come up with would be good enough for me, and she has shown me she is untrustworthy. A scorpion's nature is to sting and this fox won't get fooled again.
 

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Discussion Starter · #200 ·
The dinner with Barb and her husband went well and was a much needed respite from the loneliness I have been feeling over the past two weeks. We ate, drank, got lit and had an awesome time watching the game. It was the first real substantial meal I have had in weeks that I didn't try to throw up. Thankfully, we did not talk about Sarah or my situation at all. Barb was doting on me all night and chastising me for not eating and looking like ****. I think she feels bad on behalf of her crappy girlfriend. It was only when the Uber came to pick me up that Barb gave me a hug and told me that Sarah was an idiot for dumping me, and that one day she would live to regret it.
 
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