[Tdbo]

Meh. I don't know. She's a very attractive woman. Even if she and her ex do break up, she won't stay single for long. She's a master of that female art of maximizing her resources. I have no doubt she will latch on to a new man quickly.

Hard to tell.
However, the Kid is obviously not a happy camper
She is obviously not liking the "Good Life" with the ex
So, what is the best solution to her conundrum? You.
She knows she royally screwed the pooch. You, through your actions, proved that you are the much better man from every perspective. In Muffin's mind, she deserves the best.
Don't underestimate her. You better believe she will be "Maximizing Her Resources"; more than likely in your general direction.
You can expect one or more plays from her regarding reconnecting, sometime, somewhere, when you least expect it.
Just don't fall for any of it.
I was engaged once to a woman that sounds a lot like her.
It finally took my getting married to someone else, and a letter from my wife responding to a Christmas card the ex sent to me before she finally packed it in.

 

[Tdbo]

What did that ex do to you? Did she two-time you with another guy?

Fortunately, I did not have to experience that.
However, after the engagement, she became I person that I no longer knew or especially liked (let alone loved.)
I made her pull the plug on the engagement, as her mother had already put several thousand dollars into the wedding, and I wasn't about to let her be the martyr. Mother and I had kept in touch, and she did side with me.
There was a period of about a week we did start talking again. I probably needed some closure, and she was trying to get a foot in the door so she had some options.
One night during a phone conversation, she made a derogatory statement about me that killed any buzz I ever had for her, and I ended it not so subtly over the phone.
I was done. I took the steps to move on. About six weeks later, I met and was dating the woman who is now my wife. She started calling. She tried to engage, and had several conversations with my answering machine (until it cut her off.) She never did show up, I think because she knew that would not be in her best interests.
Later that year, I took another job and moved about three counties away. I knew she was still trying to reach out, because I had relatives call me telling me that she was calling them at work and grilling them in an effort to find out where I was at.
Even though my relatives didn't rat me out, she was still resourceful enough to find out where I was. The calls still continued sporadically (I guess she really liked my answering machine, I was using it to screen all calls.)
To this point, this had been going on for over two years. During the next year, the woman that I had been dating and I got engaged and had set a date for the following year. calls still continued at irregular intervals with messages left. We were married in 1994, and calls still continued through the rest of 1994 and into 1995. We got into Christmas season of 1995, when two Christmas cards showed up at the house. One from her and one from her mother. Both had letters in them, the basic what is going on letter. Hers kind of portrayed herself as busy but lonely. No significant other, bla-zay-bla-bla. My Wife grabbed the letter, and said "I'm going to put an end to this s**t once and for all." She sat down and put together the "Good life" letter designed to make her feel like s**t. My wife then said " If this doesn't work, the next thing will be a hand written Thank You to her for sending you my way." Letter one worked. No more contact. However, it took three years and a Marriage for her to finally get the idea.
That's why I say that the Drama is not over yet for you.

 

[Tdbo]

I keep hearing from several mutual friends that her relationship with the ex-husband is rocky at best. Apparently last week she kicked him out of her house for the second or third time.

You handled yourself like a champ.
This piece of information insures that you will be fielding her for some time.
Poor Muffin realizes she really screwed the pooch.
You returning the kid was the honorable thing to do.
I'm sure that the feedback she received from friends/family in regards to such a stellar move really depressed Muffin, and made her both look and feel stupid.
You have a real Bunny Boiler on your hands.
You haven't heard the last of this one.
Stay strong and embrace the ghost.

 

[Tdbo]

On a positive note, I met a very nice younger woman (age 37) who is a friend of one of my business colleagues. She is Asian and very attractive. We have a date set up for this coming weekend and I can't wait. I need to get out and meet people and stop being a hermit.

This is how you shut the Bunny down.
Replace her. Make sure word gets back to her network.

 

[Tdbo]

It depends on who you want to feel more pain? You can cause him pain by telling him. You can cause your wife ex-girlfriend even more pain by not telling him. How, you might ask? Let's say you don't tell him and he and your Ex break up. She knows that you took the high road. She knows what she lost and it tears her apart inside...

This is your best revenge.
Floor the accelerator, and allow Muffin the dust for a snack.
While it hurts, better to take the pain now, instead of being married to her when the bottom drpped out.

 

[Tdbo]

I'd like to torment her.

After being burned once, you want to play with fire so you can experience the scorch twice?

 

[Tdbo]

I don't do Fakebook.

No I have the urge to write her a well worded text telling her just how little regard and respect I have for her and her sh*tty life choices. I want to set the record straight with her so that there is no question about my opinion of her going forward.

If you need the therapeutic approach, sit down and write your tersely written note.
Then feed it to your shredder.
If you want to show her how little regard and respect you have for her, refuse to grant her real estate in your mind.
Embrace the Ghost.

 

[Tdbo]

I'll look closely for herpes.

Good to know.
That is definitely a "Best Practice."😀

 

[Tdbo]

I don't do Fakebook.

No I have the urge to write her a well worded text telling her just how little regard and respect I have for her and her sh*tty life choices. I want to set the record straight with her so that there is no question about my opinion of her going forward.

After rethinking this again, frankly, you won't need to.
I'll go back to what I have said in one of my previous posts, you may be done with her, but she ain't done with you.
Her using someone else's phone to call you is merely the beginning of what you will endure.
In her world: By God, she is Muffin! You will hear her BMW, grovel, cry, roar, or any other kind of manipulative, gyrational, drama she can impose upon you, because she is entitled.
She earned her PhD from the Bunny Boiler Academy.
She will utilize her "Skillz" until her needs are met.
She is merely regrouping at the moment.
As the quality of her existence decreases, the number of attempts to reach out to you will increase.
Your best strategy is to Ghost or Gray Rock her, and move on swiftly.
She will keep on going until:
1. It is abundantly clear that you have moved on ( serious relationship, shacked up, or married to someone.)
2. She finds another "You", that being someone of your stature in every facet......or
3. Things get so bad that you get a TRO against her.
Buckle your seatbelt. You are in for a ride.

 

[Tdbo]

We texted eaxch other and thanked each other for the date. I'm going to let her make the first move and see if she is really interested in going out again. Otherwise, onward.

No, follow up with her in a timely fashion.
If she seems less than enthusiastic, back off and let her make any future plays.
Then, move on.

 

[Tdbo]

I didn't grey rock her. I called her back this evening and we talked for a while and I told her I was not in a good place to be dating and that I probably wouldn't be calling her back again. I know that will disappoint all of you, but I can't do something when I feel like I'm faking it, and I would be faking it if I took her out again. It is not Viet Girl that I don't trust: I don't trust myself. I don't trust myself not to get prematurely attached to her. I don't need anymore attachments a this point in my life. I haven't gotten over Sarah yet and I don't need to bring that baggage into any friendship or relationship.

Nothing wring with that.
Take some time and get your s*** sorted.
Get mentally stronger and gird your loins.
Because the "Opera" osn't over for you yet, I'm afraid.

 

[Tdbo]

Interesting you predicted that. Lately over the past week or so I have gotten calls from common friends of ours asking me how I am doing. Just out of the blue. Some are people I have not talked to since I broke up with her. I am polite but while I'm talking to them I'm thinking "Why the hell are you calling me?" The talk is superficial and pointless. I'm thinking Sarah is sending out her birdies gathering intel on me. I'm thinking of just screening all my calls from now on.

I told you my story earlier in the thread.
The parallels are there between your saga and mine.
It took years to extract myself from her, and the only thing that ended it was my getting married.
Bunny Boilers will boil. You can make book on that.

 

[Tdbo]

I agree with the previous two posts.
There will be some kind of "Manufactured" crisis with your Ex, designed to reel you in.
Perhaps her and the kid get into it, and he splits. He's going to reach out to you.
I'm sure that it is because of his respect for you, FUELED by the fact that he wants you back in his and his Mom's life.
Ex is home mopey and miserable. Eventually, she's gonna take a swing at getting back together.
Attempted calls, texts, cards, letters, gifts, etc may be very well coming your way.
You may come home some night and find her on your stoop.
She'll probably say or do anything to get you back.
Stay strong. You have taken the best action possible, blocking the "Circusbarkers."
This has not even started to play out yet.

 

[Tdbo]

You fed the Dramallama.
Never feed the Dramallama.
Now she knows she owns real estate in your head.
Best to lay low. Way low.

 

[Tdbo]

Well, crap. What compelled you to suddenly do this? Was there a trigger?

I think Mr. Al K. Hall was involved in this compulsion.

 

[Tdbo]

I might add, if she reflects on what you said, and later 'forgives' you, you have something to work with here, with her.

That's the problem.
Muffikins has been reengaged.

 

[Tdbo]

An apology doesn't matter. She doesn't want to come back. The moment she's hooked another man or has finished her education, she will be gone.

She is not deserving of an apology.
AGP still has not heard the last of this one.
AGP will be best served by cutting as many tethers to her as he can.
She screwed up and she knows it. She is waiting for a way to slither back in.
Unfortunately, AGP may have opened the door for her.
Her family dysfunction regarding her son may draw him back in again, due to the rapport he has with the son.
Fortunately, AGP seems to be steadfast in his position that he is done.
Hopefully lashing out at her is his closure, and he can stay strong.
The biggest problem with her is that she will probably never find her paradise.
That's what makes her the most dangerous and unstable.

 

[Tdbo]

You are better than this. Apologize to her and move on. No one deserves that especially when it is form your view only. DO THE RIGHT THING and close this chapter.

No, he doesn't need to open up another can of Cream O'Drama soup.
AGP needs closure.
Muffy deserved every syllable, given the crap she pulled on him.
If the first can is used up, no need to open a second.
Besides, Muffy will probably do that of her own volition.
There's no way that this is over, given her MO towards men.
If AGP is lucky enough to have this be over, let it lie.

 

[Tdbo]

He already opened that can. Sorry I have yelled at people and not felt good about it. I then apologized. if that is the type of person you want to be then so be it. It is the me generation I guess. She screwed up and that is her cross to deal with. From what I see she knew it and tried to caome back and he blew her off. That should have been the end to it. The call was uncalled for. He had already moved on and that should have been the end of it. Not sure why we cannot be better PEOPLE. Must be the new age.

The point is that presently there is no contact between them.
He needs to do his part to keep it that way.
Reengaging her does nothing to meet that objective.
She will more than likely make that move. You can make book on that.

 

[Tdbo]

Glad to hear that you are sorting yourself out well.
Getting yourself out of that group will have positive benefits for yourself, as well.
It is probably best that you have put up the emotional wall until you have fully healed.
However, do not allow yourself to be controlled by the negative ending that you had with her.
Do not give her the power to control your destiny. There are a lot of good women out there that want and desire a good man like you. They also have the maturity and morality to value them, and treat them right.
What you need to do is learn from your experience and make the necessary adjustments. You may want to consider how you vet a woman that you become serious with and observe their "Natural Habitat." It appears that you had some serious questions about the people she hangs with. As my Grandmother used to say "Birds of a feather, flock together." If you don't like the birds, you probably won't like the broad.
I'm glad to hear that she is leaving you the hell alone. If she really cares, that is probably the best way she can demonstrate it to you. I hope she continues to do so, for your sake. I still have a feeling that something will happen that will break this silence. Hopefully, you have a strategy to deal with that if that occurs.
Stay strong.