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You should have pushed “we who went to Starbucks?” That you already know she goes there every time her boss is in the office. That you are tired of her games and deciding if the marriage is worth the games she is playing.
 

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I would think the boss would pay if they were going to Starbucks for a work related issue.
Also, if he were courting/being intimate with her, wouldn’t he also pay?
 

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I would think the boss would pay if they were going to Starbucks for a work related issue.
Also, if he were courting/being intimate with her, wouldn’t he also pay?
Boss could be a cheapskate? No, they both are dancing around the elephant in the room. Hacker, "EYES OPEN MOUTH SHUT". That is an order. Get a PI on the case. Money well spent. How long do you intend to live in limbo? Not long I hope. If I am correct, you need to pull the band aid off and do what is necessary.
 

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I would think the boss would pay if they were going to Starbucks for a work related issue.
Also, if he were courting/being intimate with her, wouldn’t he also pay?
Not that unusual to be reimbursed for expenses.
 

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Discussion Starter #225
I found something interesting. So the call logs don't capture missed calls. I noticed on her phone after the 3 suspected deleted texts, he called her 2 mins later, she didn't pick up. 10 mins later according to the google stuff she went into visual voice mail. I checked it, and there was no voice mail at that time. So she must have deleted it. She also checked it later that night around 10pm.

Looks like something is going on.
 

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Discussion Starter #226
One other thing, in the string of texts between them that morning, she asked him when he is coming in.
 

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Discussion Starter #227
Another strange little thing. My wife likes to doodle a lot. Typically stuff that is on her mind. I found in her purse a doodle that said. Need an accomplice, on a note card. And she scribbled it out.
 

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I found something interesting. So the call logs don't capture missed calls. I noticed on her phone after the 3 suspected deleted texts, he called her 2 mins later, she didn't pick up. 10 mins later according to the google stuff she went into visual voice mail. I checked it, and there was no voice mail at that time. So she must have deleted it. She also checked it later that night around 10pm.

Looks like something is going on.
You don't have enough clear evidence to convince family or friends that she's cheating, nor do you have enough evidence to convince her that you can prove it to anyone. If you confront her with what you have she's going to deny it, claim it's all coincidence, gaslight you and try to get everyone you know to convince you that you're wrong. By the time she's done with you you won't dare accuse her of cheating again. So confronting her with what you have right now is a losing proposition. I haven't seen you respond to any of the many suggestions for a PI so I'm guessing you don't want to do that. Are you capable of continuing to act normal in light of what you've been finding? If you won't go for a PI, and you don't think you can keep faking it, you should just go ahead and hire a lawyer and have her served at work. Don't bother talking to her about it ahead of time, let the papers open the conversation.
 

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Another strange little thing. My wife likes to doodle a lot. Typically stuff that is on her mind. I found in her purse a doodle that said. Need an accomplice, on a note card. And she scribbled it out.
Btw, it's still possible she's ****ing with you rather than cheating, but if she is she's too stupid to stay married to anyway.
 

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Discussion Starter #230
I'm going to hold off on the PI at the moment. I think I have enough to catch her. The question is, if I catch her in the act. What do I do? BTW, with what you have seen, do you think something is up.
 

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I'm going to hold off on the PI at the moment. I think I have enough to catch her. The question is, if I catch her in the act. What do I do? BTW, with what you have seen, do you think something is up.
Yeah, she's cheating, you just don't have the proof yet. I'm not sure how "in the act" you mean when you say catch her in the act. You really don't want to see her actually engaged in sex with another man, it's way tougher to handle. As far as catching her meaning having enough proof that she's no longer denying, what do you want? Do you want to stay married to her but have her stop cheating? Do you want to divorce with a good settlement? What's your goal?
 

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I'm going to hold off on the PI at the moment. I think I have enough to catch her. The question is, if I catch her in the act. What do I do? BTW, with what you have seen, do you think something is up.
Yes something is up. She is either cheating, has him as just a friend or is f’ing with you. All of which is at the cost of your marriage.

You have to answer one thing, is she worth the hell she is putting you through right now? If not file for divorce. If so find a way to live with it.

I still think you should file for divorce and have her served at work. Even better if it is on a day her boss is there.
 

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Discussion Starter #233
I guess catching them at Starbucks. The weird thing is, I'd always figure if anyone was to cheat it was me. Over the the years I've seem some crazy stuff. Mind-blowing stuff. I've literally been in a position to cheat many times and have always denied it. Either traveling or being in odd situation. I've always after all of those told my wife exactly what happened and what could have happened. Couple mins of fun is not something to destroy a marriage. That is my outlook. If she is infact cheating, she doesn't share that. I am not sure what would come of this.
 

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If you do catch then at starbucks, won;t she be able to talk her way out if it? Are they really at starbucks or are they in his car getting frisky? A PI still might be the way as she might see you before you see her.
 

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I don't want to be the discordant note here, but I think you don't have a solid evidence. Everything you have right now could be explained and if you ask her about the voice mail, the text or the card you will be putting yourself on a position of a paranoid and she will gaslight you.

And if you go to Starbuck and found them drinking a coffee (something that is pretty normal), she will notice you are on to her and, if something is happening, everything will go underground, and if something is not happening she will put you the hat of a jealous stalker.
Now, if you want to catch her on a car with him, that's another thing, but make sure you catch them making out and not talking only, because even though the situation would be embarrassing, it would not be the silver bullet.
Another thing, I think you said she walks to Starbucks, so found her in a car is not practicable.
OP, the parking lot at her work is below a roof? I mean, is it a multilevel parking lot or an open one? I am asking because you don't know if they escape to have a "private chat" in her car on working hours. So, get the VAR ASAP.

Stay low, I think she is relaxing because you have been wearing the poker face and the stealth hat.
Ah, other question, that combo of texting and calls was on working days or this weekend?
 

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I'm going to hold off on the PI at the moment. I think I have enough to catch her. The question is, if I catch her in the act. What do I do? BTW, with what you have seen, do you think something is up.
It is probable that something is going on. Also, it is probable that if you show your card beforehand, you will miss the opportunity to discover the truth.
 

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Good question from Nucking. If it Apple I think there are ways to synchronize it with the computer and you can get almost everything.
That's why I'm asking.
 
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