Oh... I think that is exactly what happened.FarmTownGirl, you sound like a cool person, but I have to agree with HappyHusband - you sound like a lot of work.
...Men aren't so complex, we want to minimize pain and maximize pleasure, so here he is thinking "cool, I get to go to the beach, see my woman in swimsuit, drink beer...". and then suddenly he's thrown into this complex emotional issue with you that he does not understand and cannot win. ...
Right. Trying to hard to get someone close to you invariably pushes them away. How ironic that I created a minefield for him trying to communicate to him that he didn't have to worry about upsetting me. That's almost funny.Minefields are not safe places and you'll never get the validation your craving that way. Keep putting those up and pretty soon you'll never see that soulful side of him.
There is my challenge. I really do want validation. It's important to me. The way sex is important to him. Let me know if you have any suggestions on how one addresses that.Don't overlook your need for validation. It sounds like that's an old issue for you and something you should spend time and energy towards addressing. Just don't look to him to fix it.