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I have two adult kids, one boy one girl. Have been through every conceivable type of trouble teenagers can get into with one or both of them, sometimes concurrently. Whether the girl child looked too cute or whether the boy child was distracted by cuties in class was not even on my radar.
 

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I don't know why I didn't ask this before. Has anyone else here actually raised a teenaged girl, and dealt with issues like this firsthand?

I mean, am I dealing with people with experience, or just opinions?

If you meet that criteria, and still would let your daughter go to school in yoga pants, its pointless. Similar to they fact that if you have to explain to a person why yoga pants are not appropriate attire for any child to wear to school, its pointless to expect them to understand why.
I have a daughter who's not quite that age, but close.

And sorry, no, it's not only those with teenage daughters that get to voice an opinion about what human beings are allowed to wear.
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I have a daughter who's not quite that age, but close.

And sorry, no, it's not only those with teenage daughters that get to voice an opinion about what human beings are allowed to wear.
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I can't imagine a more limp response than this. Why don't you just come out and say whether you think girls wearing Catwoman pants to school is OK or not? Afraid if you say they may not be appropriate someone is going to label you a rape apologist? You going to let your daughter wear that stuff to school? Yes? No?

If you've never had a child in this situation, you have a limited input, and less credibility. These are issues involved parents and school admin decide. You'll get your chance. Until then, you've got no experience to draw on. But when has that stopped anyone around here from trying to insert themselves?

Like I said, if someone has to be argued with to make them understand that this in not appropriate clothing attire for a school setting, its a pointless exercise. No one with any sense of taste would consider it. Some people would send their kids to Sunday School in hula skirts just to be difficult.

Still can't stand up and say you won't want your daughter wearing that stuff to school? Brother, what a world.
 

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Can you talk more about guys and clothing? I'm serious about it; it's something I've been working on for the past few years.

Made some strides there, actually. Wife loves it, and it does increase my confidence. I'm finding well-cut suits at work, and better casual wear at home than a stretched out 'Iron Maiden' t-shirt and paint-covered shorts does a lot.

But what do women in general look for in guy's clothing?

(Besides shoes. I think I finally get the shoe thing.)
What I am hoping for is a fashion industry change and new standard, that then trickles down to the department stores where guys like you buy clothes. When the companies who sell clothes make the right clothes, and when you and other guys feel ok about peac*cking (and when women feel ok about you doing, too), then the change I'm hoping for will happen.

As it stands, extreme fashions for men are not really "allowed" except for gay men. So when straight men wear it, they look gay...because as it stands, that as a fashion choice is something straight guys just don't do. And women wouldn't like it either, right now...it will require a complete change in the fashion industry and acceptance first. I think we'll get there though, eventually out of sheer boredom.

Great shoes can always be done first and very easily, at least these are available. Whatever you can get away with to accessorize is awesome, IMO. Cool watches and belts and I like rings on guys, too. For me personally, I could handle a whole lot more than this, but honestly, it would make a guy look gay, the way things stand right now so ... you can only go so far. At least do the shoes and accessorize. Check out some hot black dudes and see if you can get away with anything they are wearing. They tend to be able to get away with more and still look straight. ;) ETA link: http://www.buzzfeed.com/ira/the-official-ranking-of-the-51-hottest-black-men-i-8p6m#.gngdgG88A

You can also figure out date nights that have a theme of some type so you can do some kind of masquerade or costuming or pull your tux out...but wear the tux with some brilliant colored shirt instead of white. Of course she gets to dress up too, but she will be seeing you in a completely different type of get up than she is used to and that's what catches our eye...just like variety of women's clothing catches men's eyes.

That's a start.
 

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I don't have a daughter but I would want her to dress attractive and be confident. Yoga pants would be for exercise not everyday attire.

I do see an alarming trend with leggings or yoga pants being worn in place of slacks for a business uniform.
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I work with some really hot girls. They look hot, but not inappropriate. Leggings are part of normal work attire for them.

Like this:








The trick is basically to cover your butt. Then leggings are actually MORE clothes than bare legs or tights under a dress or skirt.
 

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I work with some really hot girls. They look hot, but not inappropriate. Leggings are part of normal work attire for them.

Like this:








The trick is basically to cover your butt. Then leggings are actually MORE clothes than bare legs or tights under a dress or skirt.
They are, but still, the thing leggings have over bare skin is that they hide, shape, tone any of the blemishes, cellulite...all hose kinds of things...they present essentially a photoshopped and airbrushed version, in real time, for the imagination. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with them, or wearing them, just what a large part of the appeal is.
 

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I am still curious as I don't think anyone has quite stated this, should there be no dress code in schools? Every kid should be free to wear what they want?
 

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Also, in terms of work attire, it really depends what type of job you do or what industry you are in. Leggings are not appropriate as business attire (for guys or gals) in my industry.
 

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Forest i will respond to your inquiry, yes i have raised my step daughter from age 8 and she is now 19 so yes i have first hand knowledge of this and not just giving an opinion. And amazing thing is she was able to graduate HS get into college all the while wearing yoga pants to shchool at times.

I can double check but i dont recall any boys being too distracted to also graduate and move on.
 

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My SO wore her yoga pants to bed last night.

I promptly removed them.

>:)
 
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I don't know why I didn't ask this before. Has anyone else here actually raised a teenaged girl, and dealt with issues like this firsthand?
I have a preteen girl and a teenage boy. We have always taken the approach that they live in the world and need to learn how to do so. But we have been open about our thoughts about things for our entire lives together. Like they have heard me opine about stuff like why female music stars have to dress like skanks to be taken seriously and why male music stars have to have a posse of skanks to be taken seriously. Topics of that nature come up naturally over the course of just BEING, so it is not like they don't know where Dad and I stand.

We talk about enlightened self interest. I never, ever, ever have told my daughter how to dress. I shared what people might think about how she dresses, and how whatever SHE thinks, people will decide on their own what THEY think and even infer motivations in her attire that she never intended. Just educated her as to what to expect.

Both of my children see how Dad and I treat each other. What we expect and how we respect each other.

With both my son and daughter, we discuss the recent news and blogs on consent. I talk to my son, who has a bit more interest, about the topics on this board. I brought up a recent comment someone made about pushing past resistance. His comment was, I don't get it. Why would you want to have sex with someone who did not want to have it with you? That makes no sense.

My daughter has chosen a modest, sporty look. When she wears makeup at home, she chooses very light application. She hangs with the nice kids.

My son reports only the popular kids dress like skanks. He has no patience for the popular kids anyway because, as he puts it, they are all douche bags.


I mean, am I dealing with people with experience, or just opinions?

If you meet that criteria, and still would let your daughter go to school in yoga pants, its pointless.
What is pointless? I actually don't control my children's attire. Here is the neat trick. I don't have to. As it relates to yoga pants, neither of us find them offensive or inappropriate. Neither does the dress code. So we are good there. But since the spirit of her dress motivation is that of comfort for learning, leggings and yoga pants are fine. FAR less constricting than jeans which she hates.


Similar to they fact that if you have to explain to a person why yoga pants are not appropriate attire for any child to wear to school, its pointless to expect them to understand why.
We don't believe in the word "inappropriate". We believe in results based decision making.
 

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Also, in terms of work attire, it really depends what type of job you do or what industry you are in. Leggings are not appropriate as business attire (for guys or gals) in my industry.

My wife is an IT / analytics consultant for a very large consulting company and wears leggings on a regular basis. Thankfully she has the body to pull it off - and my fashion sense :) - but the end result is not unlike what FW posted above.
 

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I can't imagine a more limp response than this. Why don't you just come out and say whether you think girls wearing Catwoman pants to school is OK or not? Afraid if you say they may not be appropriate someone is going to label you a rape apologist? You going to let your daughter wear that stuff to school? Yes? No?

If you've never had a child in this situation, you have a limited input, and less credibility. These are issues involved parents and school admin decide. You'll get your chance. Until then, you've got no experience to draw on. But when has that stopped anyone around here from trying to insert themselves?

Like I said, if someone has to be argued with to make them understand that this in not appropriate clothing attire for a school setting, its a pointless exercise. No one with any sense of taste would consider it. Some people would send their kids to Sunday School in hula skirts just to be difficult.

Still can't stand up and say you won't want your daughter wearing that stuff to school? Brother, what a world.
I have two daughters, older will go to middle school next year. I do not mind the existence of basic dress code, ensuring that kids are dressed somewhat decently. I will not let my daughter to to school with her breast and stomach exposed. And this was the purpose of original dress codes requirements, as girls were wearing clothes that were exposing too much, and boys had those hanging down your knees pants showing butt crack.

But since that time the subjectivity of dress codes, and punishments put on students have started getting out of control. They lost their purpose, became the tool to for another witch hunt.

I have no idea why yoga pants with long t-shirt or sweater are such big deal. Note: I am not talking about yoga pants and tummy showing tank top. Yoga pants and long t-shirt is what I used to wear to clean the house, I do not associate this with sexy at all. You see more of my legs when I am wearing shorts then leggins.

Girls have bodies. They have hands, knees, elbows, breast, neck, ears, hair. What do you want us to do with them? Go back in the house and feel ashamed that we are broken that way?.That we are bad becuase we have breasts, and for some reason we cannot really fanthom they are distractive to you? If seeing my knee, or elbow, or the fact that my blouse is not as flat as yours is distracting you - I am sorry, but this is your problem, not mine.
 

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We talk about enlightened self interest. I never, ever, ever have told my daughter how to dress. I shared what people might think about how she dresses, and how whatever SHE thinks, people will decide on their own what THEY think and even infer motivations in her attire that she never intended. Just educated her as to what to expect.
That's perfect.
 

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They are, but still, the thing leggings have over bare skin is that they hide, shape, tone any of the blemishes, cellulite...all hose kinds of things...they present essentially a photoshopped and airbrushed version.
We know. We like it on ourselves.

As for the "for the imagination" part (which I deleted from the quote), we don't care as it is irrelevant what your imagination will do.

We enjoy the look on ourselves. Period.
 

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I can't imagine a more limp response than this. Why don't you just come out and say whether you think girls wearing Catwoman pants to school is OK or not? Afraid if you say they may not be appropriate someone is going to label you a rape apologist? You going to let your daughter wear that stuff to school? Yes? No?
LOL. You're hilarious.

#1 I thought the basis for limiting what girls wear was to protect boys from the evils of girls sexual distractions. Not to protect girls.

#2 What's wrong with catwoman pants? Are you talking about those shiny versions of tights? Is that a problem now?

#3 Yes, I'd let my daughter wear shiny tights to school. With what I deem for my family and her age and maturity what else is appropriate.

#4 rape is driven by a need for power, not provocative clothing.

Here's the data: http://scholarship.law.duke.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1109&context=djglp

In short, your entire line of thinking is substantively flawed and I reject it outright.
If you've never had a child in this situation, you have a limited input, and less credibility. These are issues involved parents and school admin decide. You'll get your chance. Until then, you've got no experience to draw on. But when has that stopped anyone around here from trying to insert themselves?
Again, LOL. Where to draw the line? Must I be a parent? I'm an uncle of girls who are teenagers and dealing with this very stuff right now. I have a sister. I have a daughter who is about to be a teenager.

And, even then, your whole line of thinking is totally flawed and based on fear and shame about female sexuality, not reason.
Like I said, if someone has to be argued with to make them understand that this in not appropriate clothing attire for a school setting, its a pointless exercise. No one with any sense of taste would consider it. Some people would send their kids to Sunday School in hula skirts just to be difficult.
I would be one of those people.

What are you going to do about it?

And what harm befalls society?

None.
Still can't stand up and say you won't want your daughter wearing that stuff to school? Brother, what a world.
What a total joke.

How I parent is totally different than civil rights issues about what people are allowed to wear.
 
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