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so my husband and i have every differnet views on the womans role in the relationship he says im from the 50s where i do think a woman can be at home with a child for the first few years of life if she wants to. he swears we both need to work. i guess im not willing to hand over my newborn to a babysitter. Its also i feel like id be working just to pay for a sitter. Is it wrong to want this and unfair for him to be the only one bringing in money?
 

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Okay, I have to agree with you. I am an RN and I can go back to work and pay for the sitter for my child and the rest goes to taxes or I could stay home with my children. I am fortunate I do not have to work, I do stay at home. I have to say that the children that have moms or dads that are at home when they are home from school or can stay home during the first 5 years makes a world of difference on the type of children that you put out in to the world. SO many problems occur with kids from single parent homes or homes where both parents work and the kids are in daycare/aftercare. You basically have other adults and children raising your kids. I think alot of problems that occur with children today are from these types of home. Not to mention the colds and flu bugs that come home with little kids from daycare. I'm with you, put me back in the 50's any day.
 

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There is nothing wrong with stay-at-home parents, however many families can't do that because of the money. It may mean that you have to get a job opposite him and you switch off who takes care of the kids, or he bucks up and takes an other job but you take care of the house entirely. We have done all the above in my household.

draconis
 

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however many families can't do that because of the money.
draconis
Many families want too many things in life and forget that raising their children is the most important thing that can be done for them. Many families want to have the "big screen tv's" and the big SUV's and all the best things in their houses and work for the mighty dollar than work to bring up their children in a loving healthy environment. I understand when two parents need to work to get by with the bills but if it can be done the woman's place should be in the home raising her children. If it is like Draconis said, working different shifts I would still fight to have the parents raising the children at all cost. I guess I am very old-fashioned but that is how I was raised. We did without having a TV in every room when I was growing up and I thank God that my mom was home when I got home, she worked as a school secretary so therefore she was home when I was home and off in the summer and winter.
 

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You are not living aka the Cleavers and I applaud your efforts to be there for your new born child. Your husband should be more understanding of this and not just look at the $$ issues. I believe that a parent staying home with their children is the best option, however you should not feel guilty if you opt to go back to work. Our two children both went to day care from a young age. We were very particular and set the bar high on those facilities and dumped two of them with our second child because we were not happy with the programs. Both are doing well and our oldest just graduated high school this past weekend with honors and is heading off to college in the fall. Day care can be a positive experience but if you can afford to stay at home I think that is great. If you feel staying home is what is best for your kids stick to your guns and help your husband understand. Good luck
 

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Another option might be to watch other children in your home to earn extra $, providing it's something you'd find reasonable/enjoyable.
 

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If you stay at home, and that means one income that disappears, it should also mean many savings. Calculate how much would the sitter cost, how much are you saving by not going to work, making things from scratch because now ou have "more time"... just find out and put it on paper and then you might get an answer that would be the best for your family.
 
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