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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A year ago I asked to borrow my husbands phone to make a call and when I picked it up there was a facebook chat thread from a girl I didn't know so I read it. We were newly married and struggling blending our families. She said stuff like its so nice to see we still have that special connection and he, who rarely shares with me, was telling her everything about our marriage including things like he didn't know if I was worth it. Well I immediately confronted him...he agreed to get off facebook. I also sent her a message telling her I didn't appreciate he talking to my husband during on FB since I didn't know who she was and I was uncomfortable with it. She sent me back not one but two hateful messages calling me names etc. I let it go even tho it hurt like hell. He asked if he could have a FB acct again and since Id forgiven him I said yes...but that I didn't want him to friend her or have contact with her, he said ok. About a week he refriended her on FB and told me about it...and she immediately sent him a message...they sent about 15 back and forth making fun of me...her saying I hope your wife doesn't have a seizure that type of thing. He unfriended her after that and I thought it was over. I went to pay our phone bill today and the account password was changed which is weird since I just used it last week. When I finally reset it and got on I saw that there were 30+ minute calls from a number I didn't know. I called it and asked for that girls name and low and behold it was her. When I confronted him he told me lie after lie to cover it up...he was calling people from his other office...he changed the password a long time ago and forgot to tell me etc. Then I told him I knew who it was and he got mad and said they were just friends and I shouldn't tell him who he can and can't be friends with!!!!! I thought it seemed pretty cut but he makes me think I am crazy and nothing is going on!!! What should I do?I'm just sick to my stomach and so hurt :(
 

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Would you be friends with someone who said nasty things about your mother and father? Kids?

Why would he be friends with someone who says nasty things about you?

Why would he be saying nasty things about you to her?

I don't think he likes you. He has a lot of anger? What's the background with struggling to blend your families?

Maybe he is trying to hook up with her.

WHO IS SHE TO HIM? How does he know her, how long? "Still have that special connection" - sounds like an ex-girlfriend or high school girlfriend. If so, not good.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
He says she was just an old high school friend...but I don't know because we know no one from our pasts.

It's been a struggle because his kids' mother abandoned them and they have a lot of issues that have been tough on all of us.

I posted on here to vent because I have no one else and I'm trying to stay tough for the kids but I'm so devastated.

BTW he just came home to tell me how sorry he is and that he emailed her and told her it was all his fault and that he never wanted to speak to her again...when I asked to see the emails...he says he deleted everything all ready. How convenient I guess.
 

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I wouldn't believe him its just suddenly over. You need to keep an eye out, and snoop. Maybe you nipped it but he kept going back to contact with her. Its just not proper or helpful to a marriage for a husband to have a female "friend" to talk about his wife/marriage to. And vice versa.
 

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He says she was just an old high school friend.

BTW he just came home to tell me how sorry he is and that he emailed her and told her it was all his fault and that he never wanted to speak to her again...when I asked to see the emails...he says he deleted everything all ready. How convenient I guess.
Definitely more than a friend - the "special connection" is not something that a man is going to say to another man that he was good friends with in high school. The "special connection" is a romantic connection.

Can he come and go as he pleases while he is cheating on you?

The deleted texts are a huge red flag. Maybe she dumped him, and his last text to her was "give me a call if you change your mind?" Because a text like, I'm done, don't ever call me again" is something you don't delete so you can show your betrayed spouse you really ended it.

I hate to tell you this, but your husband does not appreciate what he has in you. Sometimes, the only way people learn to appreciate what they have is to be faced with losing it.

This has been going on for a year already. If you don't put your foot down now (that means one more screwup and you file for divorce), then it will keep going on forever.
 

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NC letter is in order, I'd think.
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