[justanaveragejoe]

i will try to keep this as short as possible,

i moved in with my fiance about 2 years ago (been together for 5 total), we are both happy in the relationship, she lived about 70 mins away from me, so i do not really know anybody here except for her family, i dont have many friends to begin with though,

once every 7-10 days i go to a local pub for some "me time" or "down time", my fiance knows about this, it is a friendly place where pretty much all the regulars are known, i started as an outsider i guess, but still felt welcomed,

i go at a time when it is not busy, i read the paper, watch a bit of tv, and have a few beers and leave, if the bartender talks to me, i will carry on the conversation, but i rarely start a conversation on my own,

over the course of a year or so i have gotten friendly with the regular bartender, she is my age and happily married, and we just chat about everyday life in general, just like buddies would,

i went in a sports pool there once and she asked for my number so she could let me know if i won it, so we exchanged numbers,

we now text a few times a week, nothing sexual of the sort, just friendly chat like i would talk to a buddy,

the other day she text me and said she is bored at work, so i asked if she wanted some company, (fiance was at work) she said yes, so i went in and chatted for awhile over a few beers,

is what im doing wrong? is it cheating?

 

[CandieGirl]

Ugh, tough call. Are you hiding any of this from your fiance? What about the bartender. Is she hiding it from he husband? If the answer is yes, then I'd have to say it's a betrayal on that level, although not really cheating, per se...

 

[CandieGirl]

That being said, though, you really should dispense with the texting....

 

[Wrongdoer]

Not yet, but your on a dangerous path, I doubt your fiancé would be happy with you texting another women

 

[Viseral]

You're on a slippery slope. This could easily turn into an EA for the both of you. Best to cut it off. If the bartender asks why just tell her the truth. And if your wife gets wind of it, tell her the truth too.

 

[MYM1430]

Is anyone (besides your own conscience) suspicious that you are cheating? If not, then you are searching for an answer you already know the answer to. Faithfulness is a product of your own heart when it is undivided in its affections. Unfaithfulness is the result of a divided heart. Is your heart divided between your finace and this other woman?

 

[Drover]

Not yet, but your on a dangerous path, I doubt your fiancé would be happy with you texting another women

Yes. Knock that off. Next thing she's going to send you a flirty text and your fiance will see it and you'll be in deep sh*t.

It feels good to have an attractive woman express interest. It happens. Just don't make the mistake of responding with interest. That's where you get in trouble. And guess what, you still got the ego boost.

 

[Pluto2]

If you have to ask, you know its not what you should be doing.
How would you feel about your finance in a similar relationship? Would it irk you? Even if you trust her? You are going to this woman to fill the gap left by the physical absence of your fiance. Having friends is perfectly fine, but you are crossing the line and you know it.

 

[JoyfulHeart]

You are treading in dangerous waters.

If your fiance doesn't know about the constant communication and the other woman's husband is also not informed, it is betrayal. Granted, you two are only speaking friendly, but isn't that how it all starts? I would stop the texting right now. She asks why, tell her you don't want to risk this becoming more. If she insists, you know darn straight it was going to turn out bad. Not saying change pubs, but find a male buddy to go there with you rather than you alone.

Careful where you tread. Before you know it, something might happen and then you will have to swim for your life.

 

[DT4379]

what is wrong with you? You are definately flirting with disater and to be homest if you feel you need to flirt with another women then maybe you need to break off the wedding

 

[Emerald]

Does your fiancee know everything you told us here?

 

[Jellybeans]

we now text a few times a week, nothing sexual of the sort, just friendly chat like i would talk to a buddy,

the other day she text me and said she is bored at work, so i asked if she wanted some company, (fiance was at work) she said yes, so i went in and chatted for awhile over a few beers,

is what im doing wrong? is it cheating?

You are crossing the line. It's a slippery slope.

I always say: do the Flip Test.

How would you feel if your fiance were doing this? Goes to a bar regularly, chats up the regular male bartender, starts shooting pool with him, he asks for her #, now they are texting weekly and he's telling her he's bored at work, she asks if he wants company, he says yes, and she goes to hang out with him and "chat for awhile over a few beers."

Again, how would you feel if your fiance were doing this?

Answer that honestly and you have your answer.



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[justanaveragejoe]

if you feel you need to flirt with another women then maybe you need to break off the wedding

i am not flirting with another woman, or anybody for that matter, where did you read that?

 

[Jellybeans]

How would you feel if your fiance were doing this with a man?



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[DT4379]

sorry he semmed to me that this is really the start of an ea if oyure not careful..Please stop it before your hurt your finace

 

[Emerald]

i am not flirting with another woman, or anybody for that matter, where did you read that?

Fair enough but maybe she is flirting with you?

 

[A Bit Much]

How would you feel if your fiance were doing this with a man?

It's amazing how much trouble you can avoid by just flipping it.

 

[Kurosity]

I hope for your sake that this girl's H is not some big man ready to knock your head off faster then an Irish boxer drinks after his match.

Really it is wrong. Why is she using your number when she wanted it to call you if you won or not? No no she never got it for that reason and you never gave it for that reason. You both want to justify your actions and play it like it is nothing.

I hope that you stop this right now before you all end up hurt.

 

[chillymorn]

is she hot? then yes if she ulgy then no. LOL


probably not to smart ask you girl if she minds.

 

[kipani]

Men's friendships with women 'driven by sexual attraction' - Telegraph

You're going to begin an affair if you keep talking to this chick. I just learned this the hard way.