In the meantime, he picks up our kids a few nights a week. He wants me to assist with picking up and/or dropping them off. I have not done this in the 6 months he has been out of my home as my thought is that he decided to leave so I shouldn't have to use my time or gas to make a trip that wouldn't be necessary if he hadn't left. He disagrees and says I should assist with this because he is not the only parent. Keep in mind, I do not ever tell him he can't have them, cant see them. I simply refuse to make the trip. Am I being unreasonable?
Your relationship has ended.
You have to adapt and adjust your mind as a co parenter.
This is about the children, and not you, or the relationship...and your feelings about it (which are valid)
This is what effective co parenting is.
This is what parenting is.
A joint responsibility.
Also, you have poor self esteem and don't love yourself.
You're more angry that you aren't allowed/entitled to freely tolerate and endure a dysfunctional toxic marriage any longer.
If he hadn't moved...
You'd tolerate it as you've always been doing.
"I didn't want this at all and don't agree that you should be able to "take a break" from a marriage."
"my thought is that he decided to leave so I shouldn't have to use my time or gas to make a trip that wouldn't be necessary if he hadn't left."
You're more angry and upset that he left, as opposed to cheating.
Yes. You should know that these major adjustments to your relationship were and are still necessary.
There shouldn't be any hesitation or procrastinating divorcing each other.
The fact that you don't feel this or know is very concerning.
You are equally as fault for the state of things.
(We don't know if you've ever cheated acted inappropriately or how you contributed to the demise of things but you did)
You stayed and allowed yourself to be a doormat..
You're upset and angry that you can't currently (permanently) be his doormat still.
Please divorce and seek individually therapy asap.
Learn how to love and respect yourself.
No one should allow themselves to be a doormat.
No one should find comfort in being one neither.