My wife and I were married at 18, very young. We love each other very much, even now. We made it for almost 8 years before she left me one day. I know it was hard for her to leave because I know she loves me, but I was a mess and took my depression and anger out on her. I wasn't physically abusive, but I was definitely (in hindsight) verbally and emotionally abusive. I never slept around on her but there were definite incidences of infidelity on a smaller scale (getting drunk and kissing other women, inappropriate flirting, etc.). I really regret these things but they are done now. There were a lot of things that led to our separation but the primary thing was just that I was not nice. I have a lot of depression problems and I would get very angry and blame everything on her or our marriage. Even so, I always loved her very much and never wanted it to end...I was just immature and didn't know how to deal with my problems. Next month, we will have been separated for a year. This breaks my heart to think about. We have talked almost every day since she left. We still say I love you every time we talk. She dated for a short time (that I'm aware of) a few months after we separated and--in a sort of a childish retaliation--I did too. But I quickly realized that I didn't want to be with anyone else so I ended it. So the situation, as it stands, is this: we talk regularly. Neither of us is seeing anyone else. Every once in a while, when I can talk her into it, we'll get together and generally get along very well (until it's time to part ways, when it gets very sad). She hasn't said anything about a divorce, really, but she hasn't agreed to any of my attempts to reconsile, go to counselling together, etc. All I want in the whole world is to try to save this marriage. She knows this. But she won't give me much to work with. I know she's confused about what she wants and I'm trying so hard to let her know I love her without pushing too hard or pushing her away and I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall. I love this woman with all my heart. I just get so discouraged because it's been SO LONG. I have no one to talk to. Hence this forum. Am I an idiot for thinking we still have a chance here? I don't know. Any advice? A positive story would be really appreciated. I need some hope here.