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Hi, I will try to make this very brief. My husband and I have been married for less than a year, and this holiday season approaching is our first one together. We live about 2 hours from his family and see them at a minimum once a month - usually twice a month for the entire weekend. My family lives about 7 hours away and we see them once every 2-3 months.

We decided to spend Christmas with my family this year and New Years with his and switch next year. We have the entire week off, so I want to spend Monday to Sunday with my family because there is a big party that Saturday. Then we can drive back Sunday and stay with his family until Tuesday (new year's day). He wants to come back Friday and skip the party because we should split the holiday week off 50/50 with the 2 families.

I think it's very unfair to split this week 50/50 because we spend soo much time with his family on a regular basis. I know he is afraid of upsetting them, but the cost of keeping them happy is now upsetting me. Do you think I am being selfish or am I right to feel this way? I just want to do the right thing and keep us both happy. I just don't like the idea of skipping an event that I really want to attend, so we can spend another weekend with his family doing what we already do once or twice a month :( Thoughts??
 

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That's tough. Inevitably, one family will not have as much time with you as the other one will. You can try to make it as fair as possible but in reality everyone will have hurt feelings with you. Been there, done that. I don't think it is unfair of you to try to tilt X-mas/NYD holiday time more towards your family if throughout the year you end up spending more time with his. You have to talk with your husband about this before you develop resentment against his family and him.
 

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Why not spend Sunday - Thursday at his family's house, drive to your family's house on Friday, attend the party Saturday night and spend the New Year's Day with your family.

Even split, holiday at each house, you get to the party, everyone wins.
 

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You'll need to talk about this a little more. The issue hasn't been resolved yet. Be sure your concerns have been discussed in a calm and understanding manner.

This might not help but a saying for your husband: Happy wife, happy life.
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