Joined
·
87 Posts
I'm prepared to walk and have appointments with an attorney next week but also feel I need to make one last ditch effort to make things work. I got to thinking that we had never discussed the possibility of things becoming an issue after children. I am guilty of assuming because he expressed similar beliefs that our lives would naturally change after we had kids I changed and he stayed the same. In my effort to end the dysfunction I came up with a list of the kinds of things I would like to be taking place in my home. Maybe some people can tell me if I'm asking for way too much? I'm aware if he is not willing to meet my expectations there is someone out there that will, in the meantime I know I could be an excellent single parent. Anyway here is what I'm asking of him. If he is as he claims and not an addict I don't see anything out of reach on my list.
1) Our children’s best interest comes first and is what should be the most important aspect in our lives. Our actions are something they will emulate and as parents we need to be model citizens
2) Getting drunk or glorifying the drinking in front of the children is not acceptable. Drinking a few beers or having an occasional drink is acceptable. This does not mean drink 2 Tilts and a beer nightly I believe 3 nights a week is plenty.
3) Smoking marijuana in the presence of the children is something I am not willing to tolerate and I am willing to take the steps necessary to remove it from their lives completely. Just to clarify when G is playing in the back yard and you go to the front yard to get high this is considered the children being present. After they are in bed that is fine, at the start of bedtime routine is not fine. As bothersome as it may be this behavior should be limited to after they are asleep.
4) Mixing booze and pot is something that should be done on very rare occasions and never around the kids.
5) I know that life at home is sometimes stressful and understand you need a break but please try to limit your you only time to one day per week.
6) On your “you” day if you call and tell me you’ll be home at 8 I expect to see you home at 8 and not have to start pestering you to come home at 9 and have you finally show up 3 hours later drunk and baked.
7) Continue to financially support the family the way you are you’ve been doing great even if we don’t have a lot of luxury.
8) With the money you’ll be saving from not buying beer every night, it would be nice if you would use that money to do something nice with me once a month without the kids. Or even consider using that saved money to take an extra day off and spend it with the girls and I doing something fun.
9) I’d love for you to put some effort into being sober when we go on family outings. As much as I love driving our car it would be nice for you to be able to safely take the wheel from time to time.
10) Stop asking me if I want to have sex. Wanna increase my libido pick up after yourself, I find that more erotic than anything else you do. Besides it would be nice to not find the milk jug sitting on the counter at 3am.
11) Make sure you tell me you love me everyday and then show it
12) As guilty as I am at times too, have enough respect for me to stop calling me derogatory names.
13) If you say something expect me to believe it and stay true to your word.
14) I’d like to start turning the TV off one night a week and spend that time reconnecting as a family and after the kids are in bed as a couple. I’d prefer a sober night.
If his claim is true I'm not asking too much am I?
1) Our children’s best interest comes first and is what should be the most important aspect in our lives. Our actions are something they will emulate and as parents we need to be model citizens
2) Getting drunk or glorifying the drinking in front of the children is not acceptable. Drinking a few beers or having an occasional drink is acceptable. This does not mean drink 2 Tilts and a beer nightly I believe 3 nights a week is plenty.
3) Smoking marijuana in the presence of the children is something I am not willing to tolerate and I am willing to take the steps necessary to remove it from their lives completely. Just to clarify when G is playing in the back yard and you go to the front yard to get high this is considered the children being present. After they are in bed that is fine, at the start of bedtime routine is not fine. As bothersome as it may be this behavior should be limited to after they are asleep.
4) Mixing booze and pot is something that should be done on very rare occasions and never around the kids.
5) I know that life at home is sometimes stressful and understand you need a break but please try to limit your you only time to one day per week.
6) On your “you” day if you call and tell me you’ll be home at 8 I expect to see you home at 8 and not have to start pestering you to come home at 9 and have you finally show up 3 hours later drunk and baked.
7) Continue to financially support the family the way you are you’ve been doing great even if we don’t have a lot of luxury.
8) With the money you’ll be saving from not buying beer every night, it would be nice if you would use that money to do something nice with me once a month without the kids. Or even consider using that saved money to take an extra day off and spend it with the girls and I doing something fun.
9) I’d love for you to put some effort into being sober when we go on family outings. As much as I love driving our car it would be nice for you to be able to safely take the wheel from time to time.
10) Stop asking me if I want to have sex. Wanna increase my libido pick up after yourself, I find that more erotic than anything else you do. Besides it would be nice to not find the milk jug sitting on the counter at 3am.
11) Make sure you tell me you love me everyday and then show it
12) As guilty as I am at times too, have enough respect for me to stop calling me derogatory names.
13) If you say something expect me to believe it and stay true to your word.
14) I’d like to start turning the TV off one night a week and spend that time reconnecting as a family and after the kids are in bed as a couple. I’d prefer a sober night.
If his claim is true I'm not asking too much am I?
