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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just an observation...
Ive always drank. Usually just a normal amount. A few times in my life I drank heavily during stressful periods.

For most of my separation, I didn't drink. I was thriving. Didn't miss the ex (especially towards the end).

Even after I saw her at the lawyers office, I didn't drink...felt great...and I even knew for sure then that things were final.

Well, we went to court...I still wasn't drinking. I still felt fine. HOWEVER, I then went through the phase were every friend in the world wants to take you out for a drink to "celebrate," or "help you forget," etc. etc.

During this roughly two week period I rarely drank to excess (maybe twice) and it was usually just a few beers with friends. The evening of the drinking I still felt fine with everything. It would be the next day I would start to feel melancholy, try to think up ways to make things work again, find myself answering her bizarre texts, etc.

Now I decided a few days ago: no more drinking at all for at least 6 weeks. Within 24 hours, I feel great again. I am not thinking about her anymore, etc.

All I can say is that alcohol should be avoided at all costs right after a divorce, even if you aren't a problem drinker. Everyone tells you to go out and drink, celebrate, etc. Im saying its not good no matter if you are sitting alone or out with 5 buddies.

Thoughts??
 

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Well, it depends on if you are happy or not. :D

If you are feeling down and depressed then alcohol probably isn't a good idea. But if you are happy and in a celebratory mood, then why not?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thats kind of what I have been trying to figure out: I am happy its over, but for some reason the drinking was changing that. I think its a more powerful drug/depressant than we understand. And like I said, I wasn't crying over my beer. I was having a good time. It was the next day I felt weird. I just think it might mess with your head that it could hinder your ability to move forward rationally.
 

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When I discovered by ex's affairs I went into a very odd emotional place. I seldom drink and do not smoke cigarettes.

Yet for two weeks I lived on vodka (on ice w tons of green olives) and smoked like crazy. I ate next to nothing for those two weeks. I guess I just needed the brain chemistry fix that the combination gave me. When I look back on that time it scares me some that I intensively knew to go get vodka and cigarettes.

Humans have always sought ways to alter our mind and our moods. Though usually I don’t, I guess D-Day just flipped that switch for me briefly.

At the end of the two weeks I stopped the drinking and the smoking. I’m now back to one or two drinks a month and no cigarettes.
 

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I just think it might mess with your head that it could hinder your ability to move forward rationally.
When it comes to my alcoholic STBXH I KNOW that's the case.

You might be feeling a bit down and unsettled subconsciously. Also, sometimes I'll wake up and just feel tense or down or out of sorts. Can't even figure out why. Drinking is definitely not something I do in that case.

Best thing to do is get out and take a nice walk in the fresh air. That always makes me feel better. :)
 

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I lived on wine and beer for some months post separation but I don't mind a drink or two at the best of times so it made no difference to my feeling re: my ex.

One piece of advice I would give to people is that if you are going to have a few, leave the phone at home or lock it in the car boot even for the next day so there is no temptation to drink and txt.
 

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Drinking inhibits your previous mood.

I know people who should not drink when they are sad

But I know some who do and they escape reality for several hours

yet return to a better state of mind the next day

was it the mooning the police or the strippers (oops!)

moderation.....not a lifeline

from my experience....drinking used to help me write

after awhile I noticed I drank more than I wrote

time for a new fix

google lost generation of writers....explains a lot
 

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After Dday I noticed my X drinking herself to sleep and was disgusted. Probably had a bit to do with her posOM entering the picture via drinking after work.

I stopped drinking even beer with dinner... until things were signed and she moved out. I had to approach it with a clear head.

At first when I did drink again, out with friends, it did not distract or soothe, but rather amplified my emotions. I couldn't stop talking and thinking about her. I was a buzz kill for sure.

Now that I have been more successful in detaching I do often hit the pub on the weekend. But it's different now. It's enjoyable. Even the day after.

I think it affects us each differently. Being aware of how it does and acting accordingly is the important part, IMO.
 

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posOM must resemble Caorrotop if she had to drink to think about him EGH
 

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CG-cool quote
 

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I think it affects everyone differently to some point. For me I think alcohol just enhances whatever mood I'm already in. ie if I'm being silly, I get retarded. If I'm depressed, I get super depressed, if I'm having fun, I have a great time.

I went out first weekend after separation and it was a train wreck, I was out in the parking lot bawling my eyes out.

New years, I was in a great place and had the time of my life getting loaded.

I've never had a problem with alcohol though and I don't have an addictive personality. If it's something someone struggles with I absolutely would stay away from it.
 

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When it comes to my alcoholic STBXH I KNOW that's the case.

You might be feeling a bit down and unsettled subconsciously. Also, sometimes I'll wake up and just feel tense or down or out of sorts. Can't even figure out why. Drinking is definitely not something I do in that case.

QUOTE]

I concur; sounds like there are a lot of emotional turbulence buried deep down in your psyche CIM. The same thing happens to me; have a few drinks I feel great. The next day I am down in the dumps (all since separation - this never happened before). I think we build these mental 'safeguards' in dealing with the hurt and pain that alcohol - as it alters/changes our brain chemistry - winds up tearing down.

I am not a doctor, but sounds plausible??
 
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