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Hey guys. I'm a long time follower of the forums if a couple months is a long time.

I have some intimacy issues I'd like to ask about. Otherwise, we have been happily married for 16 years.
 

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Our sex life has declined greatly. We do it maybe once per month. It always ends with her crying because she has pains after going for more than 30 minutes.
 

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1. If you only make love once a month, and then they are long sessions no wonder she has pains. Her insides are not used to being stretched or banged on anymore. If you increase the frequency, and go for shorter, gentler sessions, her body may adapt to you.

2. Or she could have a cyst, tumor, or something else going on inside.

Get her to a gynecologist and find out if her insides are alright and then proceed from there.
 

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How long have the two of you been married?

Do you have any children?

How old are the two of you?

Has she seen a doctor about the pain?
No children. She is unable.
We are in our late 40s


1. If you only make love once a month, and then they are long sessions no wonder she has pains. Her insides are not used to being stretched or banged on anymore. If you increase the frequency, and go for shorter, gentler sessions, her body may adapt to you.

2. Or she could have a cyst, tumor, or something else going on inside.

Get her to a gynecologist and find out if her insides are alright and then proceed from there.
She does have the occasional cyst, but no other issues according to the doctor.

This is different. She never wants to now. Even with large amounts of lube, we have issues.

I honestly don't think it's painful for her at this point. I think it has just became a go to excuse. She treats me different lately. She seems cold and distant, but says nothing is wrong.
 

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Our sex life has declined greatly. We do it maybe once per month. It always ends with her crying because she has pains after going for more than 30 minutes.
What kind of crying? Emotional crying? Or tears in her eyes because of the pain crying?
 

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She should see a doctor about this. It could be something to do with menopause.

There is also the state of your relationship. How many hours a week do the two of you spend doing things together, just the two of you? What kinds of things do you do?
 

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Your opening statement is that your marriage is a happy one so that is great news. I'm with Elegirl with the possible menopause thing.

You guys still "dating" each other?

Many time "service sex" comes from a disconnect with ones partner on an emotional level. Would you say that you guys still have that close emotional bond?
 

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30 min's is a very long time for intercourse, no wonder she gets sore.
And OP said "for more than 30 minutes" so that might be a good point.
 

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What kind of crying? Emotional crying? Or tears in her eyes because of the pain crying?
She says pain, but I feel different.

She should see a doctor about this. It could be something to do with menopause.

There is also the state of your relationship. How many hours a week do the two of you spend doing things together, just the two of you? What kinds of things do you do?
She had been to to doctor. I mentioned it earlier. Nothing abnormal.


Your opening statement is that your marriage is a happy one so that is great news. I'm with Elegirl with the possible menopause thing.

You guys still "dating" each other?

Many time "service sex" comes from a disconnect with ones partner on an emotional level. Would you say that you guys still have that close emotional bond?
Dating? No, we are married.
We have the emotional bond about once per month.


30 min's is a very long time for intercourse, no wonder she gets sore.
And OP said "for more than 30 minutes" so that might be a good point.

30 minutes is a long time? A couple hours used to be fairly normal for us, with a water break here or there, maybe a quick joint or a quick line or something.
Hell, maybe that's the problem, she doesn't even want blow very often now. She is not nearly as fun.
 

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She says pain, but I feel different.



She had been to to doctor. I mentioned it earlier. Nothing abnormal.




Dating? No, we are married.
We have the emotional bond about once per month.

I found your problem. No wonder she is crying.

30 minutes is a long time? A couple hours used to be fairly normal for us, with a water break here or there, maybe a quick joint or a quick line or something.
Hell, maybe that's the problem, she doesn't even want blow very often now. She is not nearly as fun.
No wonder she is crying.
 
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