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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a young and and am wondering how things will pan out as I age from a sexual desire perspective. I have a 2 questions:

As men age, does the pursuit of sex continue to influence their behaviour toward attractive women as much as it does when they are young?
Do all men interact with attractive women in a way that promotes themselves as a sexual partner even as they get older (consciously or subconsciously)?

I've been observing older men behaviors (married or not) for some time and notice that, like young men, many are drawn to young, phyiscally attractive women. I would hope that it becomes much less of a focus as I age, but can't predict the future and was hoping to get some thoughts from older men in the forum.

Thanks
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Aging and sex priorities - need female advice

I'm a young male and and am wondering how things will pan out as I age from a sexual desire perspective. I have a 2 questions:

As men age, does the pursuit of sex continue to influence their behaviour toward attractive women as much as it does when they are young?
Do all men interact with attractive women in a way that promotes themselves as a sexual partner even as they get older (consciously or subconsciously)?

I've been observing older men behaviors (married or not) for some time and notice that, like young men, many are drawn to young, phyiscally attractive women. I would hope that it becomes much less of a focus as I age, but can't predict the future and was hoping to get some thoughts from women of all ages and their observations/thoughts on men.

Thanks
 

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I'm a young and and am wondering how things will pan out as I age from a sexual desire perspective. I have a 2 questions:

As men age, does the pursuit of sex continue to influence their behaviour toward attractive women as much as it does when they are young?
Do all men interact with attractive women in a way that promotes themselves as a sexual partner even as they get older (consciously or subconsciously

I've been observing older men behaviors (married or not) for some time and notice that, like young men, many are drawn to young, phyiscally attractive women. I would hope that it becomes much less of a focus as I age, but can't predict the future and was hoping to get some thoughts from older men in the forum.

Thanks
Interesting question.

I come from a large family with many brothers.

Some seem to be forever attracted to young women who are somewhat out of their league physically. Maybe for them it's an ego thing, and hope springs eternal.

Some of my brothers who are more attractive seem less attracted to young woman even though those women act attracted to them.

I think it has more to do with intellect than age.

The more intelligent both attractive and average in looks, think a woman that is too much younger is nothing but trouble.

Even very wealthy men married to young wives often end up cuckolded by them.

Just my perspective based on being surrounded by brothers.
 

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I don't think any normal guy, young or old, isn't attracted to a younger, beautiful woman. I think it is hard-wired.

But I guess I need to understand what you mean by "attracted to". If I were looking for another partner at my age (59), I'd be looking for someone mature and who knows what they want. Looks would be secondary. I'd still want a sexual relationship but an intelligent, confident woman is sexy to me.
 

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I'm going to guess that you will get more ladies chiming in on this one, than older gentlemen.

Reason being that older gentlemen (such as myself, are wise enough not to step in such a mine field of a question) ;)

Short answer; does age influence our behavior on how we choose to interact with potential sexual partners?

Yes. Hopefully, but not always, we are smarter and more refined in how we approach such an interaction.
 

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The pursuit of sex was never a singular goal that for me. I pursue life and adventure more and that is what defines me. So I never really ever promoted myself as a sexual partner to anyone other than the few women I have become serious and exclusive with. Not all men are gamers despite the popular notion.

Everybody likes an attractive person old or young. I'm still not very old (50) though but for me that certainly hasn't changed. And as far as sex with my wife, I am certainly HD and that hasn't changed for over 20 years.

So to answer your question, for me it is the same as it was when I was young.
 

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I'm a young and and am wondering how things will pan out as I age from a sexual desire perspective. I have a 2 questions:

As men age, does the pursuit of sex continue to influence their behaviour toward attractive women as much as it does when they are young?
Do all men interact with attractive women in a way that promotes themselves as a sexual partner even as they get older (consciously or subconsciously)?

I've been observing older men behaviors (married or not) for some time and notice that, like young men, many are drawn to young, phyiscally attractive women. I would hope that it becomes much less of a focus as I age, but can't predict the future and was hoping to get some thoughts from older men in the forum.

Thanks

You're asking about something that is more mental than physical.

Will you always enjoy the sight of an attractive young lady? -Yes

When you're old enough to be their father, will you approach and socially engage those ladies? Hopefully not. Few things are more pathetic.

Hopefully your interest in women will broaden out to where you find a wider age group attractive.
 

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Not sure how old the OP is and who his target audience is, but I am surmising that he is in his 20s and is looking for opinions rom the 40+ crowd.

For myself, I can honestly say that I feel better than at any point in my life and although I am married and not hawking, I feel confident in my physical appearance.

When you're younger, you have some bad habits (smoking, drinking, late nights) that wane as you age and settle down. Those things take their toll on you, so it's a great feeling to wake up early on a weekend and have no hangover.

That goes a long way in how you view yourself and how others view you.
 

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I'm a young and and am wondering how things will pan out as I age from a sexual desire perspective. I have a 2 questions:

As men age, does the pursuit of sex continue to influence their behaviour toward attractive women as much as it does when they are young?
Just as much? Not me. I still find the same women attractive though. One difference is my hormones are not raging and I'm not so hot tempered, jealous, or a chest thumping caveman now. Add to that, I am happy being my wife's husband. Maybe that's part of this equation and I just think age is the main factor.

Do all men interact with attractive women in a way that promotes themselves as a sexual partner even as they get older (consciously or subconsciously)?
It's not subconscious. I am as attractive as I can be around pretty women and I'm not trying to sleep with anyone except my wife. Women put on makeup for the same reason. It's an ego boost. I'm more of a catch for a women in her twenties now than I was when I was in my twenties. Not that I think I'm all that. I think every man and women wants to be desired.

I've been observing older men behaviors (married or not) for some time and notice that, like young men, many are drawn to young, phyiscally attractive women. I would hope that it becomes much less of a focus as I age, but can't predict the future and was hoping to get some thoughts from older men in the forum.
If I were on the market.... I'd go after a young woman. Reason being I would love to have more kids and they are in child baring years. The desire to mate with women who can bear children and are healthy is built into us even if I did not want more children.

What men and women find attractive is driven by biology. Since men have children throughout our lives, we are attracted to women based on that throughout our lives on some level

Double standard? Sure. Fair to older women looking for good men their age? Not really.

I'm a 44 year old man though and I can say for sure that my big head thinks more than my little one now.
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Re: Aging and sex priorities - need female advice

Men will always be attracted to youth and beauty. They're simply programmed that way.

I've had my share of older men hit on me. Some act the same way as men my age. Some are much more mature and gentleman-like. Some act creepy. But at the end of the day, most men are attracted to young flesh. How they act on it is based on the individual.
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I'm a young and and am wondering how things will pan out as I age from a sexual desire perspective. I have a 2 questions:

As men age, does the pursuit of sex continue to influence their behaviour toward attractive women as much as it does when they are young?
Do all men interact with attractive women in a way that promotes themselves as a sexual partner even as they get older (consciously or subconsciously)?

I've been observing older men behaviors (married or not) for some time and notice that, like young men, many are drawn to young, phyiscally attractive women. I would hope that it becomes much less of a focus as I age, but can't predict the future and was hoping to get some thoughts from older men in the forum.

Thanks
As a 63 year old I wonder why on earth you are concerned about such a thing? Why are you observing the behaviours of older men? What are you getting out of it? For me it seems a really weird thing to do. As a younger man I was far more concerned with my career, being the provider, supporting and loving my family etc. etc.


As a younger man you should be working hard and playing hard, keeping free of debt and building your future and retirement fund, To be concerned about something as trivial as how you are going to think and feel about young physically attractive women when you are older just seems plain weird to me.
 

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I find older women attractive too. As I have aged (mid thirties) I have found I am attracted to more mature women too. I appreciate the beauty of youth e.g. 21 year old women, but I wouldn't emotionally want to get involved with them because what I want today is not what I wanted back then (and the same probably applies to a 50+ women I think is attractive, she probably doesn't want a relationship 30ish guy).

So sexual attraction, lust and curiosity continues, I think, regardless of the age, but what you really want for your long term interest changes. I am exploring that currently.
 

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As a 63 year old I wonder why on earth you are concerned about such a thing? Why are you observing the behaviours of older men? What are you getting out of it? For me it seems a really weird thing to do. As a younger man I was far more concerned with my career, being the provider, supporting and loving my family etc. etc.


As a younger man you should be working hard and playing hard, keeping free of debt and building your future and retirement fund, To be concerned about something as trivial as how you are going to think and feel about young physically attractive women when you are older just seems plain weird to me.
I just wanted to say I appreciate reading your view, although I think the OP question makes sense to ask and I have wondered myself. :) I think it shows wisdom to try to learn from one's superiors in age and experience.

The issue for me (not wishing to distract from the OP) is that don't you feel the same lust for women now at 63 as you did as a young man of 33, similar to how you describe your life above? If so how do you deal with the decision you made?
 

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I just wanted to say I appreciate reading your view, although I think the OP question makes sense to ask and I have wondered myself. :) I think it shows wisdom to try to learn from one's superiors in age and experience.

The issue for me (not wishing to distract from the OP) is that don't you feel the same lust for women now at 63 as you did as a young man of 33, similar to how you describe your life above? If so how do you deal with the decision you made?
The OP has actually searched the internet to find a forum such as TAM to ask his question. So it must be seriously playing on his mind, taking up his time and energy. Why?

If he seriously wants advice from older men then this one says don’t be concerned about such triviality about something that may or may not happen way out in the future.

As a young man there are many many more things to be concerned about. Unless of course he already has the love of his life, his family, has a fantastic career and more than enough income to cover his costs, doesn’t have any money worries whatsoever, is already guaranteed a comfortable living when he retires etc. etc.


As a 63 year old I’m one man who from the age of eighteen was a good enough provider, lucky enough and blessed enough to have fallen in love with a woman who provided me with all the sex, passion and desire any man has any right to expect out of their life right up to the age of sixty when we separated.


I didn’t get that by being even remotely concerned about how I was going to be thinking and feeling about young attractive women when I’m in my 60s! I was very much more concerned about how I was going to be attractive to young attractive women when I was a young man and how I was going to win the love of my life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thanks everyone, this is really helpful and I appreciate the honesty. It sounds like sexual attraction will be a constant and present reality. It's comforting to hear that focuses and priorities can and do shift as you age regardless of the influence of sexual attraction. This bodes well for any of us younger guys who want to have a lasting and fulfilling marriage even as our sexual attraction toward our partner changes over time. It's hard to watch some older couples walking around and seeing the older man check out younger attractive women while their wives remain oblivious (or careless).

I guess I'm not totally sure why this bothers me just yet and am still processing. I think a marriage includes (and needs) a healthy sex life and if your thoughts wander too much (purposefully or not) perhaps it can take away from the health of your sexual relationship with your wife. No?

Maybe I'm just naive and the attraction of young beautiful women impacts all guys. But it sounds like what is important does/can shift and that is a really positive message to hear - particularly if you want a solid marriage.
 

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I'm a young and and am wondering how things will pan out as I age from a sexual desire perspective. I have a 2 questions:

As men age, does the pursuit of sex continue to influence their behaviour toward attractive women as much as it does when they are young?
Do all men interact with attractive women in a way that promotes themselves as a sexual partner even as they get older (consciously or subconsciously)?

I've been observing older men behaviors (married or not) for some time and notice that, like young men, many are drawn to young, phyiscally attractive women. I would hope that it becomes much less of a focus as I age, but can't predict the future and was hoping to get some thoughts from older men in the forum.

Thanks
Well, I'm 49. I don't know if you consider that older...some do. My divorce is not yet final but I do notice women that I am attracted to. Because of my age I have learned a lot about who I am and what I am looking for in a woman. However I, like most people, notice what they see first. Attraction, youth, vitality are always going to be noticed but there are 2 different types of attraction...physical and mental.

I am still physically attracted to women that are 15 to 20 years younger then me but I realize that is just physical so I honestly would not pursue them because chance are they are in a different stage of life then me and I am probably not what they are looking for anyway. That's just being realistic.

I am attracted to women that are closer to my age...but still a bit younger (within 10 years). But, I have noticed that many women (and men) my age do not take care of themselves or have let themselves go physically as they get older. Ideally I would like to be with someone who makes me feel younger in some way. I do work out, eat right and stay in good shape. People are shocked when they find out my age. I look and feel much younger. I would be attracted to someone like myself in that respect. So yes, someone like that would influence my behavior.

As far as promoting myself as a sexual partner after my divorce is final...yes, I will. I am still a very sexual man. I have always had a high sex drive and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon. To me, sex is important part of life and I am not ready to let it go anytime soon.

However, I am not looking for just sex like I did when I was younger. I am looking much more now. I'm looking for a friend, partner, an emotional bond..a connection. I am mature enough to understand that I need a lot more then just sex and sex without a bond is somewhat empty. I will not waste my time in pursuit of only that.

If that makes me old...then I'm old.
 

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I think a marriage includes (and needs) a healthy sex life and if your thoughts wander too much (purposefully or not) perhaps it can take away from the health of your sexual relationship with your wife. No?
My husband and I are 46 and have been married for 21 years. We have a healthy sex life, I look good for my age and while I'm aware he looks at other women (I'm not stupid) he always comes home to me.

From what I've read on TAM and learned from other men if men are satisfied at home (think his needs her needs) thoughts don't take away from our marriage. Each of us provides the outlet for those thoughts. We stay connected and that negates anything better either of us could find out there.
 

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My husband and I are 46 and have been married for 21 years. We have a healthy sex life, I look good for my age and while I'm aware he looks at other women (I'm not stupid) he always comes home to me.

From what I've read on TAM and learned from other men if men are satisfied at home (think his needs her needs) thoughts don't take away from our marriage. Each of us provides the outlet for those thoughts. We stay connected and that negates anything better either of us could find out there.
I agree Mavash. Also there a myth that men don't care about emotional intimacy. True we don't think we do.

I read His Needs / Her needs and realized I was not doing a good job of letting my wife know I love her in that regard. I thought I was making this change for her. New flash, It's awesome guys. I love it that we talk everyday on lunch break; that we don't set on opposite ends of the couch anymore; that we hold hands in public.

It feels like a new marriage. She wants sex more than I need it now too. That wasn't really a problem before anyway though.
 
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