[veronikak]

Hello everybody! Tell me what do you think about it - i am 27 female married to 47 men. As you can see we have 20 years diffrence. I always was attracted to peiple way older than me, i feel more comfortable,etc. The point is - he loves his parents very much( they both 80 ), and he doent wanna tell them about our marriage, because he said" they are old fashioned people" and they dont appreciate relation between young women and older men. So we'been living in other state, all our friends know and he seems very comfortable with it, but anything what touch his family - diffrent. This is sometimes obset me very much... its give me a feeling that i am not the right person... Other that that everything else is great - i know he loves me very much and he treat me like a queen. What you think should i do?

 

[SageMother]

It sounds like it's best to leave things as they are. I can't understand why someone as old as your husband is still afraid of parental disapproval or why they might feel they still have "parental duties", but if things are fine at home, I see no reason to rock the boat.

 

[katharina]

The point is - he loves his parents very much( they both 80 ), and he doent wanna tell them about our marriage, because he said" they are old fashioned people" and they dont appreciate relation between young women and older men. So we'been living in other state, all our friends know and he seems very comfortable with it, but anything what touch his family - diffrent. This is sometimes obset me very much... its give me a feeling that i am not the right person... Other that that everything else is great - i know he loves me very much and he treat me like a queen. What you think should i do?

Just out of curiosity, is he "hiding" you from the rest of his family and his
friends, too?

 

[tater03]

I personally would not have married him until he had told his parents that you were planning on getting married. I just could not imagine being married and having to hide it. I am not real sure what you can do about it now though. I mean by marrying him I would have to say you accepted that he wasn't going to tell his parents.

 

[veronikak]

no, he didnt hide me from friend-opposite, i know and we hang with all of his friends, i know all brothers who live near us. I know his mom likes me, its all his father... he against diffrence and maybe because i am not American...

 

[justme880]

Have you expressed your true feelings to your husband? I think communication is really important and a critical part of any relationship. If you already had a chat with your hubby and he's still firm on his decision, I'm not sure what the next steps should be.

There's NO such thing as a perfect relationship/marriage, and since that's your only issue and he treats you like a queen, then just leave it alone for now. If it continues to bug you, then you'll have to revisit the issue with him at a later time.