Age - are we bad at judging this?

Gray hair/balding definitely ages you out. One of my class mates from college grayed super early. He married this gorgeous woman who was just a year behind us. However if you look at them you'd think he was robbing the cradle, even though both are only in their late 20's/early 30's. He easily looks to be in his 40's.

A beard can age you too. I wore a beard for a good 7 or 8 years. I decided to cut it off a few months ago, just because I realized that I hadn't seen my full face since college. I was stunned at the results. It wasn't until then that I realized that my face has almost no signs of aging. I am not an old man, but shaved my face looks very young. I know this objectively because after I shaved my beard almost everyone in my life commented on how young I looked. My wife said she feels like she's almost dating a younger man because my face looks so much like it did in my late teen/early 20's. I posted a pic and a female friend I haven't seen in over a decade said "would you stop taking the youth juice and age already!". People who had never seen me bare faced were floored, and kinda freaked out by how different, and younger, I suddenly looked from the person they knew. I went to a bar with another friend of mine, and he looks really young, and these two women asked were we really old enough to be in the bar. Turns out they were both three years younger than me. What does give my age away is that I have an old soul. Always have.

That's how you know if you actually look younger than your age. Get enough unsolicited comments, and you start to realize that yeah, there is something to it. I have seen people who swear they look sooo much younger than their biological age, and they keep saying it over, and over, and over again, in the hopes that they'll convince you.

I know this objectively because after I shaved my beard almost everyone in my life commented on how young I looked.

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Had a similar experience. I had a beard for a long time (15 years?) then decided to lose it earlier this year. It created quite the shock.

Get enough unsolicited comments, and you start to realize that yeah, there is something to it.

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This is one of the things I've been wondering - if it's just me or everyone goes through this. I do get a lot of unsolicited comments and also anytime a conversation turns to a topic that is age related. One time I mentioned how I'll soon be an "empty nester" (my son will be off to college soon) and yes - there were comments but it wasn't so much the comments but the looks of disbelief on the faces on the two people I was talking to (one M, the other F). The assumption then is that I had kids when I was a teenager or something (I didn't - was well into my 30s).

It's all extremely flattering and I've not given it much thought until more recently as I start to push the big 50.

In the United States, if you are over 35 and a healthy weight, people will think you look younger than you are.


Edit - I don't mean to sound condescending in my post. Actually, I have been overweight and I do understand that sometimes it is very, very hard to change one's habits.

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Lol - I know someone who is about 100 lbs overweight but he looks like he's about 15 years younger than he is. In fact, he looks much younger than his five year younger brother. His wife is about 10 years younger than him. I guess she was fooled.

I get told a lot I look younger than I am

A year or so ago I went out to a rock club I used to frequent in my late teens and early twenties. I ran into some old friends who said I looked *exactly* the same as I did fifteen years ago - FYI I am thirtysomething now. I also frequently get ID'ed buying alcohol, going into pubs, and even buying kitchen knives (18 over here in UK.) I always have to carry my driving licence around with me.

FWIW I think with me a lot of it is perception. A lot of the time it is related to my children, for example, "you don't look old enough to have four kids!" Hubz has introduced me to friends who have said they can't believe how young I look - I don't know what exactly they THOUGHT I looked like??!! And I never get ID'ed when I have any of the kids with me - not that I take them to the pub or owt! And hubz always has said he likes that I don't look "mumsy" - whatever that is it messes with people's perception of my age apparently! People seem to have formulated an idea of how old they think I am and what I look like based on what they have been told about me and I never fit that perception.

AbsolutelyFree said:

In the United States, if you are over 35 and a healthy weight, people will think you look younger than you are.

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Well that's definitely not true. Some overweight and obese people are youthened in appearance by excess fat that smooths out the appearance of wrinkles and creases.

It just depends on the person. I've seen people lose weight and look both much younger, and much older.

SomeDamagedGoods said:

This is one of the things I've been wondering - if it's just me or everyone goes through this.

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Nope, it doesn't happen to everyone. I know because at this point I've been in all categories.

When I was a teenager I looked much older than my age.

For a long time I looked my age. A random stranger guessed my age within a year, and my wife told me, during a conversation about age, that I looked my age.

Now, in my early 30's, with the beard off, and taking better care of my skin, I get mistaken for being younger than I am. My wife and sister often joke that I'm de-aging.

Genetics play a roll too. My mom, and most of my aunts and uncles from her side of the family, aged extremely well. I saw two of my uncles, and one of my aunts, recently and was floored that they look younger than the last time I saw them.

I personally think I look my age. I see the little wrinkles emerging between my eyebrows and nose. They are my concentration lines. And when I raise my eyebrows, there's evidence on my forehead a few seconds afterwards that I've just made that expression.

Others have guessed that I'm younger. My BIL thought I was 28. He'd forgotten I'm the same age as his brother - my husband. I've recently lightened my hair which friends commented makes me look a little younger. Recently my age was guessed at 32. I don't know what that means, if anything. My husband's take is I'm nearly 36 and there's nothing wrong with looking that age, because it's the age I am!

However I do have this weird thing going on mentally about approaching 40. My goal is to be in the best shape I've been in by the time I turn 40. I don't know why, it's just something I have been thinking. I have been considering how I'll feel at 40 and looking back to now and between now and then what do I want to make happen for myself. Life has it's own rhythm but I'll still project onto it.

I can't stand the botoxed plumped up tightened look. Each to their own but I don't like it. I don't think people look younger. I think they look like they're older trying to look younger.