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575 Posts
So we're back with a new MC. She's very different from whom we saw last time. She actually believes in full disclosure. She made me really think the other day, though...
My WS kept his ONS secret from me for eight years. I still believe there is more. I originally got some info after threatening a poly. Then a year later got even more with another threat of a poly. I went ahead with the poly and he failed miserably. He leaked a little more after, but not enough to explain the failed questions. He still maintains the basic story, but now I have a few more details. The details were important parts to the puzzle, not small.
I could go into specifics here with clues I've picked up thru this terrible journey, but let's just say I feel pretty confident there were other girls and transgressions. And that the ONS happened more than once.
So anyway, our new MC says we can't go into questions now because we first have to stop the damage we've been doing, basically all the fighting. So when I approach him now my requests are not to be for answers, but for compassion. One thing she did say to me is that I'm in a situation where even if he was telling me the truth when will I ever feel like there isn't more?
Obviously he's still lying. I know that from the clues, failed poly and HPV I got. But, it made me think... He's lied so much, really even if he did give me everything would I feel any closure or will I still doubt for the rest of my life?
I think I will and that was a very sad realization on my part. I'm not confident I will ever trust him again and how can I love him with no trust?
It's all very sad. He's being extremely transparent right now, I've got everything in the now. He's gone thru his FB with me, sent me pics of his coworkers I didn't know, we went thru his phone contacts the other day... He's trying in that aspect.
Why do you think he holds onto his secrets? I dunno... I'm trying to do what our MC is telling me to do, that my approach has gotten me nowhere. I just feel like I will never know love again.
My WS kept his ONS secret from me for eight years. I still believe there is more. I originally got some info after threatening a poly. Then a year later got even more with another threat of a poly. I went ahead with the poly and he failed miserably. He leaked a little more after, but not enough to explain the failed questions. He still maintains the basic story, but now I have a few more details. The details were important parts to the puzzle, not small.
I could go into specifics here with clues I've picked up thru this terrible journey, but let's just say I feel pretty confident there were other girls and transgressions. And that the ONS happened more than once.
So anyway, our new MC says we can't go into questions now because we first have to stop the damage we've been doing, basically all the fighting. So when I approach him now my requests are not to be for answers, but for compassion. One thing she did say to me is that I'm in a situation where even if he was telling me the truth when will I ever feel like there isn't more?
Obviously he's still lying. I know that from the clues, failed poly and HPV I got. But, it made me think... He's lied so much, really even if he did give me everything would I feel any closure or will I still doubt for the rest of my life?
I think I will and that was a very sad realization on my part. I'm not confident I will ever trust him again and how can I love him with no trust?
It's all very sad. He's being extremely transparent right now, I've got everything in the now. He's gone thru his FB with me, sent me pics of his coworkers I didn't know, we went thru his phone contacts the other day... He's trying in that aspect.
Why do you think he holds onto his secrets? I dunno... I'm trying to do what our MC is telling me to do, that my approach has gotten me nowhere. I just feel like I will never know love again.