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I believe my wife and I are going to get a divorce. I'm 24, and she's 20. We obviously married way too young, and it's clear that she wasn't ready to handle a married relationship. I'm not blaming everything on her. I fully realize and accept my part in our falling out, but I firmly believe that she is the reason this will end in divorce.

We went through a rough patch that was primarily my fault, and she went to another man. She admits her involvement in an EA (only because I exposed it with undeniable evidence), but I suspect a PA. I'll probably never find out for sure, but I think it would be naive to assume otherwise.

She lies, and lies to cover up lies, but I know her well, and I can almost always see through her web of deceit. Honestly, she's not very good at lying, but she's very convincing and manipulative, and I was blind to her dishonesty for years.

Despite all this, I love her, and I want to be with her, which is why I'm letting her go.. at least for now. She has a lot of growing up to do, and she needs to get truly hurt by someone to realize that what we went through was not a reason to end a marriage. She needs to see that she's giving up someone who can't be replaced. No one is going to put up with her neurotic behavior, and insecurities like I would. She's not going to just find someone else who will never hurt her.

It's funny that getting married was mostly her idea, and she pretty much had to convince me to do it. I honestly didn't want to get married, and through about 2/3rds of our marriage, I wasn't very happy. It's not that I wasn't happy with her, I just wasn't thrilled about being tied down... but over the last few months (we've been married just over a year), I really began to enjoy it. I started to feel very secure, and I liked it a lot. I actually started feeling more attracted to her than ever before, and I started doing a lot more to make her happy. It was exciting.. which is why our separation has been so hard on me. Things were just looking up when everything fell apart. Anyway, I'm rambling..

I'm here seeking advice on how to get by knowing that she's with another man. I'm going to be in Army BCT, then 6 months of AIT soon, so even though we're going to have to be separated for a year to get a divorce, I don't expect her to be faithful. I'd like her to be, but I just don't see it. I have a feeling she'll want to come back to me within that year, but I've accepted the possibility that she won't. It may take years for her to grow up enough to realize what she lost, and she might not ever, but if she does, should I brush aside her behavior as young stupidity? I know a lot of people will tell me "Once a cheater, always a cheater," but we all know there are exceptions. I'm just not sure how to get past the thought of her being with someone else after she committed herself to me... because I really would like to. She'd been with other men before we started dating, after all. I brushed it aside then, can I do it again?

Any advice would be appreciated.
 

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don't blame yourself, i mean you just need to learn your lesson. Never marry young! (heck i got married when i was 31). If people marry young they would easily "missed" something like being in the single-hood during the 20s.

btw never ever get pressured to get marry, only through mutual consensus are alright thus your marriage is doom at the start...

sorry for your situation
 

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I should have clarified about why we got married so young. We both wanted to get married, but I didn't want to get married YET. We decided to because I was in the process of joining the Army, and we wanted to be able to live together. It wasn't so much her that pressured me as our situation.
 
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