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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We're all talking about our problems up to D. What about AFTER D?

I hear a lot about people talking about how hard Divorce is. What exactly is so hard on it that they speak of? Is it rough AFTERWARDS? Or just the whole D process?

I'm also curious as to how Divorce usually effects women afterwards. Like, my wife and I were fine. We were loving, rarely fought but we'd have arguments. She cheated once the younger crowd came into our lives, now the OM's gone and she's grazing the other side of the fence.

What typically happens to the spouses that leave thinking they want a new / different life? Everyone around here, like the volunteer fire dept guys and their friends... there's many divorced people there and they all.. ALL have the same story and tell me the same things that's going on in my marriage / divorce... and they all ended up regretting it.

I guess I'm looking for data from people that have seen this first hand. I truly do love my wife. We been together since she was 17. She's 27 now and we have a 3 yro daughter. I would really like to hope that she'll see how hard it is, regret it and retry to keep our family together.

I'm trying to let her go. I really am. But I don't know if I want to hold out to see if she'll regret it or not. The one thing I'm scared to death is, most of the stories around here, people moved on and got other partners or married, then the spouses try to come back and there's a few of these stories that are in a HUGE love mixup now and it seems to be worse than the D ever could be.
 

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We're all talking about our problems up to D. What about AFTER D?

I hear a lot about people talking about how hard Divorce is. What exactly is so hard on it that they speak of? Is it rough AFTERWARDS? Or just the whole D process?

I'm also curious as to how Divorce usually effects women afterwards. Like, my wife and I were fine. We were loving, rarely fought but we'd have arguments. She cheated once the younger crowd came into our lives, now the OM's gone and she's grazing the other side of the fence.

What typically happens to the spouses that leave thinking they want a new / different life? Everyone around here, like the volunteer fire dept guys and their friends... there's many divorced people there and they all.. ALL have the same story and tell me the same things that's going on in my marriage / divorce... and they all ended up regretting it.

I guess I'm looking for data from people that have seen this first hand. I truly do love my wife. We been together since she was 17. She's 27 now and we have a 3 yro daughter. I would really like to hope that she'll see how hard it is, regret it and retry to keep our family together.

I'm trying to let her go. I really am. But I don't know if I want to hold out to see if she'll regret it or not. The one thing I'm scared to death is, most of the stories around here, people moved on and got other partners or married, then the spouses try to come back and there's a few of these stories that are in a HUGE love mixup now and it seems to be worse than the D ever could be.
Your marriage will never work out even if she did come back.

Want to know why?

Its pretty simple.

You aren't changing yourself for you.

Everything you do is in hopes she notices so you can "get her back".

What happens if she does?

Think you're ready to deal with everything?

Are you currently strong enough to stand up for yourself and your beliefs?

Can you say "okay this isn't working" and walk away from it all?

No.

You aren't.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
No, the changes ARE for me. I believe I can do both. I guess I was just thinking about if people wake up very often and realize they fked up.

I would love to have my old wife back, but she may be gone forever, I understand that. Maybe I'm just scared to get into these situations that so many others are in that's around me. There's literally a handful of people that have had this very same thing happen, 1 to 3 years later, they're back and now there's trouble because they (abandoned spouses) have g/f's or wife's and now they're being pulled.

Ironically, one of my close friends now is one of those. His wife kicked him out of the house and asked for Divorce while he was helping with the Haunt. I mean he had to pack and leave. While he was waiting for papers, his OTHER love, the original one, that did the same crap my wife is doing now, had come back to town for him, only to find out he's married now. BUUUUTT ... he just got thrown out. Which, days after he talked to his ex, his wife is wanting to try and work things out. So now he's being pulled in 3 -4 different directions> his wife went crazy and blamed things on him that he didn't do, argued quite a bit, but now wants to cancel D and work things out. . . So he's like WTF do I do?

Maybe I'm looking into the other's situation more than I should.

I didn't mean to sound like I didn't care about the kid. I DO! Jordan is my life. It's so hard trying to stay "Dark" when my kid is involved. I feel her slipping away (she's 3 and smart) and I DO NOT want that to happen. i'm trying to keep myself out of the "funk" mood, that's all.
 
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