We have been a couple for 23 years and married for 20. We now have 2 beautiful and healthy Teenagers. Pretty normal sex life to start, you know making babies. Very normal loving family home life. Wife had no interest in any Oral Sex till I asked 10 years ago while on vacation on an incredibly romantic island. Her response was "I'd do it if you really want me to". Bad Sign. Very little interest still. Over the years I have tried to interest her in toys, games, oils and lubes all again to little or no interest. Porn would be a horror for her. In the last few years, very few orgasms on her part, always in the missionary position, maybe her on top a couple of times per year. After sex, she is completely exhausted, even without having an orgasm. She does not even fake it. More and more its just a HJ as she has no energy or passion. Sometimes Oral on her, but rare. The other night, a complete disaster when I tried to play out a fantasy with her during a HJ (intercourse was out of the question) and she angrily got up and said "this does not turn me on at all" and she got up and got dressed and went to sleep, leaving me stunned. She has plainly told me that she has no interest in sex at this time in her life, and that even if I want her to enjoy it, she says can't. What is strange is that she knows how much love and passion I have her, yet there is nothing reciprocating. I should have picked up the signs over the years that sex is not something she enjoys, and not bought and then thrown out all the romantic toys. Sex is now once a week or less. Last month, trying to be open, I asked her if she masturbated if I am away for a night or two, and she said sometimes, but I know she is lying, as we are together almost constantly, and she has no toys or lubes what so ever. The Hitachi Magic Wand if got her for XMASS, thrown out years ago. I should have asked that question at the start, as it turns out she is not a sensual being at all, very beautiful, but now cold. Maybe she has fallen out of love with me, and can't tell me. The thing is I am in terrific shape and a great lover. I feel great love and compassion for all, and I want to share that with her. Nothing back at all. I think our marriage is close to dead as there is no spiritual or emotional connection at all. I think I have been a terrific husband and don't deserve to now be locked in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. She could care less about my needs, and its not just about sex. She has no interest in me at all. Maybe the kids burned her out. Maybe depression. Maybe 23 years is to long. Surely Menopause is involved as she is close to 50. She could have a great lover for the rest of her life but is to narcissistic to see that. I have never been more depressed about having so much love to give and its just going to an empty soul. At this point, I really don't want to be intimate at all with her. It will never be the same. Maybe thats what she wants. I think I will stick it out for the next 5 years till the kids are in college and then either she cares for me with some passion or I am gone. How sad. Thanks for listening.