My wife had an affair with a guy I deployed to Afghanistan with. I know it differs for everyone but I would like to hear timeframes for different actions from people whom were cheated on. I would like a timeframe for each action listed below. We are staying together and worry about doing any actions in the list to early. I'm afraid if I do it might seem like I forgive her. Thank you
Held hands
Slept in the same bed
Cuddled
Kissed
Had sex
Reconciliation is hard work. And the time table for when you let that person back into your life, with anything, is very difficult.
I am trying to be more affectionate with my wife, but honestly, my heart is not always behind it.
Like, for holding hands. I never grab her hands. When she wants to hold my hands, she grabs for them. Whether I let her hold them or not depends on my mood.
Slept in the same...long story there for me, so my answer probably won't help you. But it was a week before I told her I actually wanted to attempt to reconcile.
Cuddled, well, depends on where the cuddling takes place.
Like, if it was in the bed, she cuddled up to me the very first chance she got. I return it when I can. My mood sometimes makes it too difficult.
If on the couch or chair or something, man, I am still struggling with that.
Kissed. Well...depends there too.
Like, if you mean kissing during hysterical bonding...didn't take too long there.
If you mean by I get a kiss as I walk out the door to work, that happened a few days after I told her I wanted to try and reconcile.
If it was kissing good night, that has been almost every night.
If it was kissing good night and meaning it...that is still a work in progress sometimes.
If it was just kissing while we are cuddling or something...that is also still a work in progress. Sometimes I am in it, sometimes I am not. I usually just give her a kiss to make her feel better, but I have a feeling she knows I am not 100% behind it.
Having sex...well, depends there too.
IF you mean hysterical bonding, that didn't take long at all.
I think we are still probably in that stage. And honestly, I can't complain about that too much...