Okay so I am married for 8 years and this is my second marriage. I married by best friend love of my life. About 4 weeks ago I started experiencing issues with my body itching and burning type of thing after I would have sex with my husband. i figured it would a UTI or something of that sort. But when my husband would travel everything would be go away. The moment he returned and we would again be intimate I would again have these symptoms. I had to talk to him. One because my first marriage my ex was unfaithful and the symptoms I was having were much like it was before. I mustered up the courage to ask my husband if he had been with someone else. I explained why and what was going on. He said no. We were on our way out when we first talked. After a nice evening and heading back in the car my husband said he wanted to talk. My heart sank. I could not believe he had done this to us. He said he had been away on a trip. He was lonely and went out to a club. He watched this girl dance and asked to go back in a private room with her. She danced more and before he knew it he had sex with her. He said it was the only time ever and would be the last. It has been two weeks since I found out this awful truth. I went to the doctor and found out I have a STD. I also am waiting for my HIV test among others to come back. I am so hurt. It truly feels as though someone has died. We agreed we should work this out. I would like that. Yet I am experiencing so many emotions and totally depressed. I could sleep all day and night. Doctor gave me ativan for my anxiety. This is just terrible. I can not believe he did this to me. I really do not know what to think or feel. The first week I spent fixing him. He was very upset and very sorry for his actions. Yesterday I told him I am sick of spending time healing him when I am pretty well lost and on my own. He is trying. But again I am up, down, mad as hell, and all across the board. To make it worse this whole thing made me sick physically and LORD knows what this person has. I may have HIV! FOR CHRIST SAKE! You would think the world condom would come up.. No the only thing that did was his penis! Sorry I know that is crude but it is how I feel. I am sick at the thought of it all. How does one get past this? How on earth can I do this again? My ex was always doing this and this was the one thing I said I would not want to do again. But I am here again so now what? I just want to go to sleep and sleep this away. I really do. I am so sad. I have not told anyone because if I am going to make this work my parents have always said "DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE OTHER YOU MAY WANT US TO FORGIVE AND FORGET." So I do not have that option.