Sometimes you an subpoena the AP for ruining your marriage, which brings them into court to testify on their behalf....... call into question your wife's motives. But in this case I would just go along with her request and act happy. The happier you act the worse she will feel and try to make you unhappy. Not unlike a child that can't be happy steaing your cookie when you're fine with it.
Affairs don't make the women who divorce happy, sometimes there is a second honeymoon after divorce but the affirs usually die less than a couple years later. Starting as soon as you can act happy and go along with what she wants, come here to vent, and get your balls and your life back in the mean time. Once she sees how you're no longer coquored she'll find you more and more attractive..... maybe not now but deffinitely when Mr. Right turns out to be Mr. What-She-Though-Would-Be-Right when they start fightng.
It all has to do with her low self esteem and her knowing you still want her when she pushes you away. Follow her rules and get lost. She'll absolutely hate you when you don't call her back but she'll respect the hell out of you for ignoring her until she decides to be reasonable.