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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I actually posted my journal earlier today.....somewhere in July my husband posted an ad on craigslist in the personals for a woman, sexual stuff. Now I find myself checking craigslist ads to see if he has posted anything else and I think he has....I see a few repetitive ads that looks like something he would do. Am I insane? Honestly, it doesnt exactly hurt anymore, I am angry about it though....still. I guess maybe I want to find him doing it one last time and I am out. Almost like I need that to leave.....I could use some advice.
 

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Can you give posters a little more background. Advice for a 'just married w no kids' is different than for an enduring relationship w kids.

Both work? By and large a good relationdhip (till now)?

How did you discover the CL post?

How does he explain himself?

Attempts at counseling?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
We have been married for 17 years, two children ages 12 and 14. I work and he has been in school for almost two years. Our relationship has been up and down for years. He has had one affair (that he admitted to) , with another soldier that he swears was just emotional-not that it matters to me.
I found out about the craigslist ad when I checked his email (which I had access too and he forgot) to get our password reset for netflix or something like that. He swore that he did it ONLY to trick me...as if I were checking up on him. I wasnt, though it may seem that way. Either way, its a lame excuse considering he got responses AND responded to the responses. Hopefully that makes sense.
It wasnt long after that he wanted a facebook account so because he lost his old military buddies contacts on his new phone. He asked me to set it up so I did. BUT it recognized his email address and said that he already had an account. I questioned it, innocently not thinking anything of it. He acted dumb like he didnt know why it would say that. He had the password reset and when I logged in for him--It was my name. He admitted to posing as me on facebook. The abnormal stuff he does is hurtful and humiliating.
 

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We have been married for 17 years, two children ages 12 and 14. I work and he has been in school for almost two years. Our relationship has been up and down for years. He has had one affair (that he admitted to) , with another soldier that he swears was just emotional-not that it matters to me.
I found out about the craigslist ad when I checked his email (which I had access too and he forgot) to get our password reset for netflix or something like that. He swore that he did it ONLY to trick me...as if I were checking up on him. I wasnt, though it may seem that way. Either way, its a lame excuse considering he got responses AND responded to the responses. Hopefully that makes sense.
It wasnt long after that he wanted a facebook account so because he lost his old military buddies contacts on his new phone. He asked me to set it up so I did. BUT it recognized his email address and said that he already had an account. I questioned it, innocently not thinking anything of it. He acted dumb like he didnt know why it would say that. He had the password reset and when I logged in for him--It was my name. He admitted to posing as me on facebook. The abnormal stuff he does is hurtful and humiliating.
I would print off all the evidence you have from craigslist and confront him. Let him know that you want him to take a polygraph to confirm the truth of what he is telling you - AND FOLLOW THROUGH. Waywards sing like canaries just before the test because they don't want to flunk the test.

Only do this if you plan to make a game-changing plan in your marriage. Let him know that you will leave the marriage if he doesn't take the poly.

Don't threaten: SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.
 

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We have been married for 17 years, two children ages 12 and 14. I work and he has been in school for almost two years. Our relationship has been up and down for years. He has had one affair (that he admitted to) , with another soldier that he swears was just emotional-not that it matters to me.
I found out about the craigslist ad when I checked his email (which I had access too and he forgot) to get our password reset for netflix or something like that. He swore that he did it ONLY to trick me...as if I were checking up on him. I wasnt, though it may seem that way. Either way, its a lame excuse considering he got responses AND responded to the responses. Hopefully that makes sense.
It wasnt long after that he wanted a facebook account so because he lost his old military buddies contacts on his new phone. He asked me to set it up so I did. BUT it recognized his email address and said that he already had an account. I questioned it, innocently not thinking anything of it. He acted dumb like he didnt know why it would say that. He had the password reset and when I logged in for him--It was my name. He admitted to posing as me on facebook. The abnormal stuff he does is hurtful and humiliating.
Totally immature behavior. Has he always acted like a teen? (Apologies to most teens.)

It's obvious that he is mostly checked out of the marriage - "mostly".
His lame excuse wouldn't fool s 10 year old. How comitted are you to holding your family together? You have to take some hard steps to get him to either commit to the marriage or to cut bait.

You have some soul searching to do to. Do you want to invest more time?
Does he have enough other good qualities to make the effort worthwhile?

For example: sobriety, good father, good provider, good sex partner, otherwise loving, helpful with household chores?
If he's military, you have resources available by way of counseling for both of you. Look into it.
 

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You need a keylogger on his computer so you can see his keystrokes. You need to see the phone bill to see what numbers he texts and calls.
 

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Do you have access to the phone records or cell phone records ?

The reason I ask is when posting an ad on Craigslist you are required to give a phone number so an automated call will ask if you posted an ad on Craigslist.

End result you could cross reference the incoming calls to home or cell for that date and time and see if its Craigslist.

If you can convince him to send you an email off Craigslist. I have something I can do to help you out as well. You can PM me if you want to do it. Basically I can track an email. Its my own personal paid for service and nothing to do with my job for those that know what I do for a living.
 
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