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My wife and me have been together for 3 years and married for a little over a year now. She is out with her mom for dinner right now and it got me to thinking. Does it bother you that your inlaws probably know more about how your wife/husband really feel about you or your marriage then you do? I'm pretty positive she talks about me/us. I'd love to hear what my wife says as I'd like to know how she really feels about us. She says she's happy and all. I guess what got me curious about us is that she got life insurance through her work the other day and made her mom the beneficiary instead of me. Is this normal precedure in a marriage? My friends say it's strange.
 

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My wife and me have been together for 3 years and married for a little over a year now. She is out with her mom for dinner right now and it got me to thinking. Does it bother you that your inlaws probably know more about how your wife/husband really feel about you or your marriage then you do? I'm pretty positive she talks about me/us. I'd love to hear what my wife says as I'd like to know how she really feels about us. She says she's happy and all. I guess what got me curious about us is that she got life insurance through her work the other day and made her mom the beneficiary instead of me. Is this normal precedure in a marriage? My friends say it's strange.
hmmmm. Is that even legal?
 

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No, I'd say that it's highly unusual, OP.
 

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Yes that would raise a red flag for me.... Nobody outside the marriage should know more than the spouse, well except those on this forum of course :)
 

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100% legal and strange, only to the extent that you two have not discussed, but you two have only been married a year and financial planning is not something “normal” couples seem to really think about until they get pregnant.

Is this a new job or, it is open season time for most employers, is this something that just came up? Most “good” employers will offer $50k of term life as a tax-free qualified employee benefit. They may match above – I won’t go into that but she may have just made a spur of the moment decision.

In any case, some legitimate reasons, besides spur-of-the-moment, are: Wife owes Mom money (e.g., car loan, school, etc); Wife wants to take care of Mom and feels you may not feel the same sense of obligation (what is the background – is Mom practically destitute/screwed over by bad divorce, etc.); Mom is really good with financial matters (for example in our family my Father and Mother-in-Law are both exceptional to wholly reliable in financial matters); or Mom is Godmother or designated as guardian of children in the event of death(s).

At a personal level, look at this as an opportunity to move yourself and your family forward. Always know that your Wife and your Mother-in-Law will always be Mother and Child – embrace don’t fight that. And take this as an opportunity to get together with a financial planning professional and move yourselves forward in a well thought out and purposeful manner.
 
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